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Living with a Woman


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The mooses has been hinting a couple of times about renting a place together and it alarms me slightly. I've seen a mate get a woman and have moved in and been wed in under a year.

For those who are in serious relationships (living with someone, engaged, married etc) when did your woman start talking about such craziness?

What would people consider a reasonable length of time in between these things? I was discussing this with my housemate and he said a lot sooner then I thought on the moving in together thing. I said i'd wait at the very least a year but he claimed he'd happily move in with a woman anywhere between 3-6 months into the relationship.

It wouldn't be any more or less convenient money wise. I guess it'd save her time trailing to my house most days but then on the other hand she wouldn't sit watching Neighbours with me listening to the indecent things i'd like to do to Donna.

Now don't get me wrong, i'd miss the woman if she were to go & we do get on very well. I would equally though miss living with a mate.

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Agree with the last post, if you don't feel you want to don't do it.

If you get a good feeling about your lady then go for it, someone as ugly as you may not get a second chance. :P

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For those who are in serious relationships (living with someone, engaged, married etc) when did your woman start talking about such craziness?

Immediately after I made her a nice dinner, hoovered the flair, done the dishes, hung oot a washin, ironed her crushed jeans and paid for her taxi hame.

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Do you see yourself with her for the long term? Can you see yourselves living together at some stage?

If you don't feel ready don't go along with it just because you think it's the right thing to do, it has to be what you want to do as well. If the answer to the above is yes then you can tell her you don't think it's time yet but don't lead her along, if you really don't know the answer to the above then make sure she knows that.

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I have never lived with a girlfriend but I wouldn't want to move in with her til we'd been together for over a year. Partly because if you've been together that long there's a decent chance you'll be together forever so there won't be the messy hassle of breaking up and moving out, but partly because I like my space and living together would mean I's see her too often! It sounds silly but I think the meeting up or her coming over to yours, or you going over to hers gives you something to look forward to and makes you all excited about seeing her again.

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Doubts don't have to mean you're not ready - it depends on what the doubts are. You can weigh it up as pros and cons and work through the worries. If it's just a general gut feel then address the worries and if you're still not sure then it's not time yet.

But, it's a big thing, so it's normal to have doubts and concerns. You may be able to work through them, either in your own head or together.

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The doubts could come from the fact that you've lived on your own for so long (if that's applicable). I know that the longer you live on your own, the more you get used to your own way of doing things and accommodating someone else will become more difficult.

For example if you felt like spending a Saturday afternoon on the couch with your kecks round your ankles and a crate of beer beside you going for the w**k marathon it might not go down too well.

There are probably hundreds of examples, but that's the first one that came to mind. Not because it's something I'd do, obviously.

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I loved with a woman once. Turned out she was sleeping with our housemate.

f**k you, Mum!

:lol:

By Vectron, Freud would have a lot to say about that post...I hope in the name of Vectron that was deliberate!

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I think Stewarty has summed it up best.

In our case, it was me who suggested it first though it was driven by circumstances. We met in 2000 but were kind of on/off for a wee while and only properly in a relationship from about October of that year. My grandad died in May 2001 and with his house available I suggested that we buy it from the estate and move in together (which we did, albeit it took some serious conversion work and we didn't actually move in for about 8 months more, though she sold her flat and lived with my family for a while in between time).

Had that not happened I don't know how long it would have been. She had her own flat but it was a very small one bedroom effort and there certainly wasn't room for me to move in as well, though I was staying there 3 or 4 nights a week latterly. I was still living at my parent's house. I think if we'd been looking to buy something properly together it would have taken a lot longer. Even if we'd made the decision at about the same time, we'd have been a while saving to buy a market price house of the right size.

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I was never going near the co-habitation/wedding thing, not a chance. But when I met the wife I knew that was it, no doubt.

So really I'm agreeing with the consensus Nick, if you're asking you're not ready.

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