Things you want to share with P&B

[Granny Danger]

Just now, Chicken Wing said:

2 minutes ago, Granny Danger said:

^^^^ Alcoholic with ethnic friends.

^^^^ Alcoholic with no friends.

 One of these two statements is true.

 

[eddiemunster]

Member that time Peter kay cancelled his tour?

[Granny Danger]

29 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

1 hour ago, eddiemunster said:

Member that time Peter kay cancelled his tour?

Who?

No, that’s Townsend.

[killiefan27]

1 hour ago, eddiemunster said:

Member that time Peter kay cancelled his tour?

Dying?

Or outed as a paedo/rapist/other wrong 'un?

[19QOS19]

Bought a chocolate santa for the wee one. Opened it there and thought I had picked up some kind of erotic chocolate by mistake

[19QOS19]

Probably more a RTBC but the channel ITVbe. Ay first it infuriated me as it appears to be a channel specifically for all those awful scripted 'reality' shows. But I've since decided it's a great move by ITV. Get all that shite in the one place so it doesn't clog up other channels. I have no idea what the "be" stands for or is supposed to mean but I can only assume it's a description of the viewers watching therefore it clearly stands for Braindead Eejits.

[NJ2]

Meeting arseholes at ikea. Eh tried to get away fae you lot.
Bolt

Just can’t get away from the wife? Sore one.

[Boghead ranter]

5 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:

Probably more a RTBC but the channel ITVbe. Ay first it infuriated me as it appears to be a channel specifically for all those awful scripted 'reality' shows. But I've since decided it's a great move by ITV. Get all that shite in the one place so it doesn't clog up other channels. I have no idea what the "be" stands for or is supposed to mean but I can only assume it's a description of the viewers watching therefore it clearly stands for Braindead Eejits.

I thought that was ITV2?

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

Have any P&Bers been confronted by a parent like this?

It's been voted  NZ quote of the year.

http://www.nme.com/news/tv/shortland-street-please-tell-me-that-is-not-your-penis-new-zealand-quote-year-viral-2171641

[Sergeant Wilson]

8 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Dick Whittington panto jokes 'too smutty' for children

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-42349690

Best add to this so as not to offend some posters so an interesting offering was:

"The main issue for us was the actual fondling of Jimmy Krankie's breasts..." she said.

 

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I thought Robert Wagner had killed Natalie Wood.

[Shotgun]

Three crows and a magpie are noshing on the spilled bird seed underneath one of my feeders. Two of the crows are too busy eating to give a chuff but the third obviously has a problem with the magpie joining in and keeps trying to push him away.

The magpie to his credit, is standing his ground, continually spreading out his wings in a full "'Mon then" pose. Fecking brilliant to watch.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

It's not just bears that reside in Newton Mearns, there are gallus wee foxes as well.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-42277860

[DA Baracus]

Been a productive day at work. I made this;

[MSU]

1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Download the Plane Finder App.  Hours of fun.

I now time my 22.35 whisky to the time of the Aeromexico flight from Amsterdam steaming overhead.

It was 5 minutes late last night, useless c***s. 

My apps of choice are Flightradar24 and LiveATC. With Flightradar24, you can point your camera to the sky and augmented reality gives you details of the flights overhead. But better still, you can select a flight and it'll give you a 3D view from the cockpit. Then you look up the flight on LiveATC and you can hear the pilot communicating with the tower. Funnily enough, last time I did that, there was whisky involved too.

[Shandon Par]

4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Its Santa!

Rudolph the bluenosed reindeer. 

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

5 minutes ago, McQuade said:

Three?...

Its the military spraying chemtrail poison into the atmosphere. Thank you.

[welshbairn]

2 hours ago, MSU said:

My apps of choice are Flightradar24 and LiveATC. With Flightradar24, you can point your camera to the sky and augmented reality gives you details of the flights overhead. But better still, you can select a flight and it'll give you a 3D view from the cockpit. Then you look up the flight on LiveATC and you can hear the pilot communicating with the tower. Funnily enough, last time I did that, there was whisky involved too.

The view from the cockpit is just Google Maps isn't it?

[MSU]

2 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

The view from the cockpit is just Google Maps isn't it?

Yeah. It's not real. Should've made that clear.

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, MSU said:

Yeah. It's not real. Should've made that clear.

If it was decent you could take over the joystick for a spell.

[Miguel Sanchez]

A recent change in the options available in Tesco's meal deal has led to a change in my lunch as I try various different new ones. Today I had a bottle of this:

And I'm wired to the fucking moon.