Swarley Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Just been to a pub quiz in town. This guy comes over to talk to me. Dodgy looking guy. Asks how my nights going, I ask him about his and he says “yeah not bad. I’m just out. (As in just out of prison.) It’s not bad.” I didn’t ask him anything about where he’d been, he was making me feel uncomfortable - you know, lurching over me, had a few to drink, talking right in my face. I just wanted him to go away tbh. Then he says “ah killed ma wife.”[emoji15]Oh right, I reply.“Aye she was cheating on me, so I killed her. People ask why I didn’t kill him instead of her.”Because he didn’t know she was someone’s wife?“Exactly! See, you get me.”Well, I...“You’d do the same as me.”I don’t think I would man, no.So, this bizarre conversation ends and he goes to bother my mate. I’d just met a real life murderer. Fucking mental.Later he asks us who we support and it turns out he’s a Rangers fan. The pub quiz had a jackpot prize at the end - guess the four number combination of the safe...he honestly suggested we go with 1690. OK so which P&Ber did jamamafegan meet? Answers on a postcard... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 33 minutes ago, Swarley said: OK so which P&Ber did jamamafegan meet? Answers on a postcard... He got the wife info in very early. I have my suspicions. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 7 hours ago, jamamafegan said: Just been to a pub quiz in town. This guy comes over to talk to me. Dodgy looking guy. Asks how my nights going, I ask him about his and he says “yeah not bad. I’m just out. (As in just out of prison.) It’s not bad.” I didn’t ask him anything about where he’d been, he was making me feel uncomfortable - you know, lurching over me, had a few to drink, talking right in my face. I just wanted him to go away tbh. Then he says “ah killed ma wife.” Oh right, I reply. “Aye she was cheating on me, so I killed her. People ask why I didn’t kill him instead of her.” Because he didn’t know she was someone’s wife? “Exactly! See, you get me.” Well, I... “You’d do the same as me.” I don’t think I would man, no. So, this bizarre conversation ends and he goes to bother my mate. I’d just met a real life murderer. Fucking mental. Later he asks us who we support and it turns out he’s a Rangers fan. The pub quiz had a jackpot prize at the end - guess the four number combination of the safe...he honestly suggested we go with 1690. So that's why Wunfellaf hasn't been back since his last ban 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Just been to a pub quiz in town. This guy comes over to talk to me. Dodgy looking guy. Asks how my nights going, I ask him about his and he says “yeah not bad. I’m just out. (As in just out of prison.) It’s not bad.” I didn’t ask him anything about where he’d been, he was making me feel uncomfortable - you know, lurching over me, had a few to drink, talking right in my face. I just wanted him to go away tbh. Then he says “ah killed ma wife.”[emoji15]Oh right, I reply.“Aye she was cheating on me, so I killed her. People ask why I didn’t kill him instead of her.”Because he didn’t know she was someone’s wife?“Exactly! See, you get me.”Well, I...“You’d do the same as me.”I don’t think I would man, no.So, this bizarre conversation ends and he goes to bother my mate. I’d just met a real life murderer. Fucking mental.Later he asks us who we support and it turns out he’s a Rangers fan. The pub quiz had a jackpot prize at the end - guess the four number combination of the safe...he honestly suggested we go with 1690. Thought WTM supported Hearts?!Lol jk like they’d let him out if he ever gets caught. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 2 hours ago, Rugster said: So that's why Wunfellaf hasn't been back since his last ban Like Stig Of The Dump would ever be married. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 5 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said: Like Stig Of The Dump would ever be married. A very good point. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 40 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Im so happy that some posh "explorer" c**t called Benedict has been found alive and is safe. Ecstatic. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 I had a lovely meal with a murderer once, real nice chap. I was visiting a friend on the scenic north coast who had an old schoolmate of his (from Abbeyview, Dunfermline) and his kid staying over. I found out during the meal that this new guy, known to me simply as 'Malky the Hammer', was up for murder but had somehow been given bail, presumably something about him being a single father or whatever, I didn't want to ask (not really dinner talk material). Basically, he told me quite openly (when the kid was up the stairs) he had suspected that his burd was shagging some guy. He said he was heading away for the weekend, but instead hid inside her bedroom cupboard. So when the guy came in and got down to the funny business, Malky supposedly jumped out and went about him with a claw hammer, aiming to give him something to remember rather than kill him, but that's what a rage-induced hammer through the skull can do it would seem. Guilty as hell, he evidently knew he was going down for it, so decided to take his kid to a nice part of the country, putting on a delightful spread for his last proper meal, no expense spared. Other than being told he was a hammer wielding homicidal maniac, he seemed quite a pleasant chap, and I remember the bream and langustines being terrific. Could have been utter bullshit, but he was from Abbeyview right enough. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Ready salted crisps are very underrated. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Just saw a tweet from some wee lassie saying how excited she is to go to (Wether)spoons tomorrow night. Really? *excited* to go to a fucking Wetherspoons? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Just saw a tweet from some wee lassie saying how excited she is to go to (Wether)spoons tomorrow night. Really? *excited* to go to a fucking Wetherspoons? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 The first time was bad enough,second shouldn't be so exciting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Depends on the make. The one with the wee blue bag of salt inside was kinda cool, even though I never understood why they didn’t just salt the crisps themselves 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Second one that I've made. All hand done. Fuckloads of sanding.... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 7 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Anti obesity measures. You actually burn off 0.000000000002 kcal by shaking bag for 30 seconds. i once found 3 blue bags in a bag once. Probably one of the best days of my life so far. 3 ! Someone was having i don’t give a f**k day at work. I just used to think imagine buying a pack of half coated biscuits to find they’re just digestives with a chocolate sachet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 11 hours ago, Romeo said: Ready salted crisps are very underrated. That's cos you're spoiled in the UK with so many different flavours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 53 minutes ago, scotfree said: Second one that I've made. All hand done. Fuckloads of sanding.... That's really good. Here's my attempt........... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 2 minutes ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: That's really good. Here's my attempt........... I like how you've also made you headphones out of wood as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 5 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: I like how you've also made you headphones out of wood as well. You obviously don't know your Sennheisers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 1 minute ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: You obviously don't know your Sennheisers. You are correct. I buy good headphones. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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