Jump to content

Things you want to share with P&B


Ad Lib

Recommended Posts

Mate had a visit from the police yesterday.
Apparently they had a received a call from the house. An old person had fallen but couldn't get up.
They did live at that address but the only thing was they had died there last year.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, jagfox99 said:

Mate had a visit from the police yesterday.
Apparently they had a received a call from the house. An old person had fallen but couldn't get up.
They did live at that address but the only thing was they had died there last year.

Old person should've called 999 rather than 101.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Eednud said:

We just had a visitor hop by. c2a38c2bdaeea61fce02b5c877bae22a.jpg

I didn't realise the fuckers growled until I went to clap one that was sitting sprawled out in the beer garden of a pub I was in a few months back. I didn't want to argue with him as he looked as if he was on roids and hammering the gym 3 times a day.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I was very disappointed when I saw The Human Centipede, any morbidity in the idea was badly let down by my execution.

The sequel was devoid of either.

Fixed That For You

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, Tynieness said:

In the end my days chores consisted of hoovering full house, mopping wooden floors, cleaning the bathrooms , polishing, cleaned kitchen and all the windows.

Just been moaned at for not putting hoover away. 

200.webp#0-grid1

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSfXmb3bRDJ5WYrRI_iykw

 

Try these on. 

 

Not been sexist, they come from a website called Hopeless...... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Obliterated a crow at around 5am this morning. Stupid p***k saw me coming but decided to fly in to the path of my windscreen rather than off the road like the rest of his winged mates.

I've left my car at the airport and my roof will have a nice selection of dried in crow guts and feathers when I come back on Thursday. Crows are arseholes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, WeAreElgin said:

Obliterated a crow at around 5am this morning. Stupid p***k saw me coming but decided to fly in to the path of my windscreen rather than off the road like the rest of his winged mates.

I've left my car at the airport and my roof will have a nice selection of dried in crow guts and feathers when I come back on Thursday. Crows are arseholes.

I may be wrong, but birds see different time/distance than us (fast & slow), especially pigeons. I blasted about 4 the other day at 05:30 (daylight), on the way back,10 min later they were all still lying on the road. Perfect, I took them home and the motherlaw made a good curry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...