Quick Question Thread

[KnightswoodBear]

1 hour ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Too often, I wake up and go to make my morning brew. And the milk has either turned itself into cream, or has gone off, or both. Not only is this a waste of milk, it means I have to go without caffeine. And then the solution hit me. 

Milk cubes. 

Take an ice-cube tray, fill it with milk, stick it in the freezer and forget about it till you need it. When you run out of milk, pop a couple in your tea. They'll melt instantly, and actually cool your tea down a bit quicker than ordinary milk. For those of you who don't eat cereal, you could even forego ordinary milk altogether. When a friend comes over and you ask them how they take their tea, they might say "Two cubes and one lump please". 

I honestly can't think of a drawback to this plan, except that it might make me OFTW. What do you think?

If anyone happens to look inside your freezer, they might draw the conclusion that you've set up some kind of sperm bank to repopulate the population after the apocalypse.  Could be awkward.

Especially when you pop one into their tea.

edit: I suppose as long as the milk was clearly marked as "Milk" and the spunk "Spunk" then it would reduce the creepiness factor.

Or not.

Edited June 27, 2017 by KnightswoodBear

[Cardinal Richelieu]

In the early stages, we may have to use shallow and deep trays to accommodate those who want "half a cube" ... people will need to be educated about how much milk they can expect in a cube, but then again, people used to not understand what you meant by a 2MB file or a 5GB data limit, and these are now in common parlance. 

It would be a tricky sell on Dragons' Den. Tbh, there's more to life than money. This could make the world a better place, then I'd be happy to forego fame and fortune. Think Tim Berners-Lee and the World Wide Web. 

When you make a cup of tea, it's made with boiling water. A milk cube would only cool it down a bit more than cold milk - so your tea would be ready to drink straight away rather than than having to blow on it (germ issue) and waiting for it to cool down. 

And finally ... frozen milk actually has a yellow tinge to it, so it won't look like frozen sperm. 

I think I've successfully fielded all objections here. 

[Bully Wee Villa]

You haven't, yet, come up with a convincing refutation to the suggestion that you be added to the OFTW List.

[Dee Man]

4 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

If anyone happens to look inside your freezer, they might draw the conclusion that you've set up some kind of sperm bank to repopulate the population after the apocalypse.  Could be awkward.

Especially when you pop one into their tea.

edit: I suppose as long as the milk was clearly marked as "Milk" and the spunk "Spunk" then it would reduce the creepiness factor.

Or not.

This is potentially a great idea for young couples who are looking to start a family and the female has a vagina covered with dodgy cladding - once her fanny inevitably catches fire the guy could extinguish the flames with a spunk cube and impregnate her at the same time. 2 for the price of 1.

I'm looking for £50,000 for a 25% stake in the business.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

4 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said:

You haven't, yet, come up with a convincing refutation to the suggestion that you be added to the OFTW List.

Pioneers and innovators were often viewed with suspicion at first. What about the first person to create fire by rubbing sticks together? All the other cavemen would have certainly "kept their eye on" him at first, until they recognised his perspicaciousness and started chowing down on some tasty medium-rare Brontosaurus burgers. 

Edited June 27, 2017 by Cardinal Richelieu

[Boghead ranter]

1 hour ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

My fridge works fine. But the 1% milk is only sold in 2 litre jugs, and I don't usually finish it before it starts to go off. 

Just to expand on what I said, when you're making someone a cup of tea and they want milk - there is a danger that you give them too much or too little. But with your milk cubes, the person can say "2 cubes please", safe that they are going to be getting exactly the right amount of milk. 

This could be my Dragons' Den moment. 

 

54 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said:

What if the exact amount they want is half a cube's worth?

 

54 minutes ago, NorthernJambo said:

But most folk (us normal ones) would have no idea how many 'milk cubes' it'd take to flavour and cool the drink to the preferred amount?

What about variances in cup/mug sizes?

[Cardinal Richelieu]

23 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

What about variances in cup/mug sizes?

You've still got that problem at the moment. If you're offering someone a tea-cup or a massive mug, how do you decide how much milk to give them? Anyway, my shallow-tray / deep-tray solution will alleviate this problem. 

I'm going to go and buy some ice-cube trays tonight and will report back my findings. 

[endieinreekie]

16 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

You've still got that problem at the moment. If you're offering someone a tea-cup or a massive mug, how do you decide how much milk to give them? Anyway, my shallow-tray / deep-tray solution will alleviate this problem. 

I'm going to go and buy some ice-cube trays tonight and will report back my findings. 

I wouldn't bother, ice cube milk is on a par with eating day old cold toast. OFTW imo.

[Shandon Par]

17 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

You've still got that problem at the moment. If you're offering someone a tea-cup or a massive mug, how do you decide how much milk to give them? Anyway, my shallow-tray / deep-tray solution will alleviate this problem. 

I'm going to go and buy some ice-cube trays tonight and will report back my findings. 

Don't you have a tea service you savage? A tray with teapot, milk jug, sugar bowl, spoons etc. 

 

[Cardinal Richelieu]

6 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Besides it seems someone was thinking about the milk cube idea a few years back.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080825101652AAzg56I

Ha, vindicated... the responses on that thread were resoundingly positive... thanks MM

4 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Don't you have a tea service you savage? A tray with teapot, milk jug, sugar bowl, spoons etc. 

In the unlikely event that the Queen was coming round for tea, I'd probably make a bit more of an effort. But if it's just me dashing about bleary-eyed before my work, I think I could probably dispense with a tea service and doilies. 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/389418.stm

[Bully Wee Villa]

Pioneers and innovators were often viewed with suspicion at first. What about the first person to create fire by rubbing sticks together? All the other cavemen would have certainly "kept their eye on" him at first, until they recognised his perspicaciousness and started chowing down on some tasty medium-rare Brontosaurus burgers. 

Firstly, it's cavepeople, what are you... Jeremy Clarkson?

Secondly, I suspect they would have, quite sensibly, used the new-found fire technology to incinerate anyone who suggested creating milk cubes, or who used the word "perspicaciousness".

[Cardinal Richelieu]

6 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said:

Firstly, it's cavepeople, what are you... Jeremy Clarkson?

Secondly, I suspect they would have, quite sensibly, used the new-found fire technology to incinerate anyone who suggested creating milk cubes, or who used the word "perspicaciousness".

 

I agree with everyone you've said, with the of setting fire to somebody who suggests milk cubes. And re: that word, I did of course mean "perspicacity". I trust this has settled this matter. 

[BigBo10]

1% milk is rotten. It's just the dregs of a carton of semi skimmed watered down to refill the carton.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

22 minutes ago, BigBo10 said:

1% milk is rotten. It's just the dregs of a carton of semi skimmed watered down to refill the carton.

I honestly can't tell the difference between 1% and semi-skimmed, so I'm as well going with 1%. 

edit: Although if I'm going to be launching my Milk Cubes initiative, I should really try all the different types of milk to see which work best. 

Edited June 27, 2017 by Cardinal Richelieu

[SlipperyP]

It already been done. We have ice milk cubes put in our hot coffee all the time.

Eta it doesn't taste the same as liquid milk.

 

[Mark Connolly]

11 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

I honestly can't tell the difference between 1% and semi-skimmed, so I'm as well going with 1%. 

edit: Although if I'm going to be launching my Milk Cubes initiative, I should really try all the different types of milk to see which work best. 

Semi-skimmed is the one with the green top.

HTH.

[BFTD]

5 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

And finally ... frozen milk actually has a yellow tinge to it, so it won't look like frozen sperm. 

^^^ kens what frozen semen looks like

[HenryHill]

11 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Pioneers and innovators were often viewed with suspicion at first. What about the first person to create fire by rubbing sticks together? All the other cavemen would have certainly "kept their eye on" him at first, until they recognised his perspicaciousness and started chowing down on some tasty medium-rare Brontosaurus burgers. 

In otherwords. Thanks to that p***k people have been overcooking steaks.

[Lisa Cuddy]

Anyone old enough to remember milk deliveries to the door in the middle of winter will tell you, frozen milk tastes like off milk. 

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

1 minute ago, Lisa Cuddy said:

Anyone old enough to remember milk deliveries to the door in the middle of winter will tell you, frozen milk tastes like off milk. 

I can remember the tits pecking on the silver top, and that's about it. tbh.