welshbairn Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 44 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said: Tbh I think she would love it. Physical violence makes her happy. I'm a bit worried about her. Show her some old time slapstick black and white comedies, or Punch and Judy. Violence has been funny to children for ever. I wouldn't worry too much, unless she starts laughing while torturing a pet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 For clarity I didn't think he was a peado. It seems to just be an old person thing. There's a checkout person at the same Tesco I actively avoid as she always tries to give my daughter unwanted physical contact. I think there must have been a generation where this was acceptable even though children quite obviously don't want strangers randomly grabbing parts of their bodies. They then seem to have the audacity to get offended when my daughter pulls away and reacts negatively to it. It's worst on buses. Always go to the top deck to avoid the old people now. I take the opposite view. I think it's really cool when people are friendly with my kids (and it is usually old people). Communities used to be closer, and so this kind of thing went on much more. A bit like being friendly with your neighbours. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jmothecat2 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I take the opposite view. I think it's really cool when people are friendly with my kids (and it is usually old people). Communities used to be closer, and so this kind of thing went on much more. A bit like being friendly with your neighbours. I just want to be able to get on with my day without feeling like I've got to perform to some people and answer the same old questions about her. More than that though is the fact she clearly doesn't like it. She barely recognises my grandparents never mind some absolute randoms who peer at her and try to hold her hand. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Just now, Jmothecat2 said: I just want to be able to get on with my day without feeling like I've got to perform to some people and answer the same old questions about her. More than that though is the fact she clearly doesn't like it. She barely recognises my grandparents never mind some absolute randoms who peer at her and try to hold her hand. Just tell them to f**k off and not touch her then 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I don't think anyone is going to harm her, just that it's odd to touch someone's child uninvited. A smile and a wave is fine, but physical contact oversteps the mark and it's quite clear she doesn't enjoy it. If a child isn't smiling at you they probably don't want you punching their cheek. Even if my wee one smiles at strangers I still don't think she'd take too kindly to being punched on her cheek. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Our wee one fucking loves people talking to her. She actively seeks out eye contact going round the supermarket so she can smile at them and talk to them. Wee attention seeker. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Aila hasn't been well for a couple of days now. Nothing serious, just a cold but it's taken it out on her. She's not the most cuddly baby and the only time she'll cuddle you (as opposed to trying to claw your face off) is when she is tired. I think we've had more cuddles from her in the last two days than in the last year. That has been selfishly great but we'd much prefer her to stop being cuddly and back to being into the arse end of everything. She's currently sleeping and I put her down 3 hours ago. This morning she lay for an extra hour and a half as well. Hopefully it'll do her good and the cold gtf! (Given how (properly) unwell certain posters' wee ones have been I know it's nothing major and hope it doesn't appear an insensitive post. Just that's the first time she's been unwell so thought I'd share ) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I’ve Just been informed that we have 3 grandkids all day tomorrow and all day Sunday, I’ll be a wreck come Sunday night 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I have finally found out where Ben's so called father is and I even have a phone number for him(thank you Facebook) the problem I have is do I phone it and tell him to man up and meet his son or just accept the fact he wants nothing to do with Ben? Or the even better option just beat the crap out of him just because I can? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Just now, keithgy said: I have finally found out where Ben's so called father is and I even have a phone number for him(thank you Facebook) the problem I have is do I phone it and tell him to man up and meet his son or just accept the fact he wants nothing to do with Ben? Or the even better option just beat the crap out of him just because I can? You leave well alone and let him and Ben's mother deal with it. They're adults, they made him, entirely their business. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 2 minutes ago, Lisa Cuddy said: You leave well alone and let him and Ben's mother deal with it. They're adults, they made him, entirely their business. It will break my heart when Ben asks who is dad is and we have to tell him his dad didn't want to know him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 If your daughter provides a stable base for her children then the child will be able to deal with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 5 minutes ago, keithgy said: It will break my heart when Ben asks who is dad is and we have to tell him his dad didn't want to know him. It will, but you don't need the added stress and guilt of knowing you scared him off as well. Lots of kids have lone parents, he's not going to be alone in that. He has a family that worship him, and that will be enough to get him through. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 It will break my heart when Ben asks who is dad is and we have to tell him his dad didn't want to know him. It's been covered elsewhere but do your best not to badmouth dickhead in front of Ben as it'll likely have the opposite effect. If he asks about him (which chances are he won't until he's of an age where you explain it to him and he'll understand) just be honest but in as conservative a way as possible. Both my sister-in-laws are in similar situations. One of them has never had anything to do with my nephew. The wee fella is 9 now and I've never ever heard him ask about the dickhead who provided the sperm. So Ben may not even bother tbh. My SIL has had a new man for about 5 years and the wee fella dotes on him so I can't see him ever wanting to know the dickhead. The other SIL's ex does have my niece a couple of times a week but he's just a complete waste of space. He never buys her anything and has her for as less time as possible. He's in a relationship now and I reckon it won't be long before he stops bothering. That situation is worse though as the wee one loves him but she'll figure him out in time. It's hard to see but as long as Ben's family who are there are showing him plenty of love and support (which obviously you are) then it's that dick's loss and not Ben's. Lisa's advice is spot on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB 4.2 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Absolutely no surprise to see Keith advocating mindless thuggery, and no surprise to read Lisa's rational response. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 1 minute ago, PB 4.2 said: Absolutely no surprise to see Keith advocating mindless thuggery, and no surprise to read Lisa's rational response. Take your bitterness elsewhere old chap. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB 4.2 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 1 minute ago, keithgy said: Take your bitterness elsewhere old chap. ..........said your daughter when you offered to physically assault your grandsons' father. I utterly detest criminals. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PB 4.2 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 1 minute ago, keithgy said: And rightly so,what about people who bring children into the world but can walk away from them without a care in the world? Then it tells everyone that he's a low-life, and affirms that the bairn would be best served without him. Kids are innocent and special. He's missing out and doesn't deserve interaction and it's best to leave things that way - as you've been previously adviced. Physically attacking him would be counterproductive, let the authorities deal with the financials and enjoy your grandson for what he's got; not what he's missing out on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 7 minutes ago, PB 4.2 said: Then it tells everyone that he's a low-life, and affirms that the bairn would be best served without him. Kids are innocent and special. He's missing out and doesn't deserve interaction and it's best to leave things that way - as you've been previously adviced. Physically attacking him would be counterproductive, let the authorities deal with the financials and enjoy your grandson for what he's got; not what he's missing out on. I know you don't like me and that is up to you,but by god that is the most the most sensible post you have made on P&B,i would do anything for Ben as I love the wee man,when he cuddles into me that makes me want to cry. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 46 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: It's been covered elsewhere but do your best not to badmouth dickhead in front of Ben as it'll likely have the opposite effect. If he asks about him (which chances are he won't until he's of an age where you explain it to him and he'll understand) just be honest but in as conservative a way as possible. Both my sister-in-laws are in similar situations. One of them has never had anything to do with my nephew. The wee fella is 9 now and I've never ever heard him ask about the dickhead who provided the sperm. So Ben may not even bother tbh. My SIL has had a new man for about 5 years and the wee fella dotes on him so I can't see him ever wanting to know the dickhead. The other SIL's ex does have my niece a couple of times a week but he's just a complete waste of space. He never buys her anything and has her for as less time as possible. He's in a relationship now and I reckon it won't be long before he stops bothering. That situation is worse though as the wee one loves him but she'll figure him out in time. It's hard to see but as long as Ben's family who are there are showing him plenty of love and support (which obviously you are) then it's that dick's loss and not Ben's. Lisa's advice is spot on. Any more mumsnet-esque abbreviations and I'll be sending Keith round to sort you out 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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