Stephen Malkmus

To be fair to us, there were a couple of moments last night when Montrose's Pixellot camera chose to follow seagulls instead of the ball. Luckily there wasn't any danger of a goal being missed.

Unfortunately we don't do streams because the CEO hates our fans

Congrats to Montrose for the best result in their club's history. Congrats to The Caley for maintaining the joint best defensive record in the Championship playoffs

10 used car salesmen and Michael Gardyne 11 used car salesmen shan't be posing us any problems this evening. Feel free to chuck your money away though.

Who are you intending on French kissing?

Rattled.

One conversation with Swinniesta is all it takes

The village of Montrose shouldn't even bother turning up for this one. We're both too big to go down and too good to go down. Next.

The fans are ringing the pitch waiting to invade as the positive goal difference shield is brought down the tunnel

The second best defensive record in the league trophy is being helicoptered into Inverness as we speak

Settle down you mentalists

f**k Morton, f**k Queen's Park, mon The Caley. Simple as.

Thought it was strange when Ange said the other week that he hid his true feelings about Kane leaving when he left. Fair enough, but save that for the autobiography. How can the players trust his authenticity now?

Just cast my vote for Sadiq Khan #fourmoreyears

We should just have offered Dougie Imrie 2.5k. He would've snaffled it up like a dog eating hot chips.