Theo Snelders

It's worth asking your GP EdgarusQPFC, it's now known that folk can develop PTSD following a violent attack like you describe.

Best wishes Capy, hope all goes well with your Mum. Tough times- take care of you and yours.

Thanks to everyone for your support. It sounds stupid, but I sometimes imagine my therapist with a set of horns and brandishing a trident-which is bloody ridiculous because he is such a decent guy, It's just all the stuff that has happened before that makes me think this way. I find it very hard to trust anyone. Anyhow he read my letter and validated my feelings- in fact he said it made him feel angry that I had had to go through such thngs, what a relief. I've been listened to. He wants me now to have a voice- so I've to write to him again, telling him exactly how I feel about the people who've harmed me.

Hope everyone who posts on here (or lurks) is feeling a bit better in themselves at the moment, I was wondering if anyone can help me, just having such a terrible time at the moment. Of course depression has been a problem for me on and off since I was a young teenager, but last year I received a diagnosis of PTSD. Going through therapy at the moment, and just cannot tell my therapist what has happened to me (I just cannot say the words- it makes me feel physically sick). We agreed I would write him a letter, which I have done. The problem is, I have just mentally collapsed just writing it all down. Sounds daft, but it's as if my brain can't accept it-even if subconciously it's always known it. It's totaly irrational, but I fear he will laugh at me when he reads the letter- yet I know he won't- he's a good guy. The fear is almost all consuming. I've to give him the letter on Friday. Apologies if this is too deep. I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance as I'm in a bad place and a pretty scared.

I can pretty much relate to this. I am a culprit for beating myself up if I make a mistake. At present attempting to work on silencing my 'inner critic'. Not sure if you have one of those, but if you do, it's just a viscious circle which makes you feel worse about yourself and can tip into depression if it goes on long enough, just as Northernjambo says. As others have said too, unfortunately there are those of us who will always be prone to depression. Keep reminding yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it's not just you being stupid. It's also important to reward yourself for your hard work. Easier said than done!.

Sorry to hear of your loss Capybara, my condolances. You did your best by your Dad and you can maybe take some comfort in that in time.

No problem. Feel free to give me a shout if needed.

Here's some other resources that might help: http://breathingspace.scot/ https://www.thecalmzone.net/ http://www.menheal.org.uk/ http://www.samaritans.org/ SAMH are well known, your GP will help you too.

Can only echo this. Take care of yourself and spend as much good time as you can with your Dad,

Your central government voted for him on your behalf.

Do keep up. President Tusk was re-elected a couple of weeks ago, despite Poland's objections. Pretty stonking majority too. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/mar/09/donald-tusk-re-elected-as-european-council-president-despite-polish-opposition

Sorry it's taken a couple of days to get back to you. Regarding what you say above- although you had episodes of depression before, when that therapy finally arrives mention to them this personality change following your surgeries/job change. I can't help feel that's significant given the impact they seem to have had on you. Again, I may be wrong here because I don't know you- and it's of course your therapy and for you to decide what to discuss. Hope you get a date for your treatment soon. Mine came through the post today- first one is on Monday 3rd April. Good luck and try to keep getting out there. Even if it's just for a walk, or as you say to go to the 'shite football'. Suprising how a good rant and rave at a panto villian on the pitch can make you feel after!

I understand about putting the child first, but you also need to look after yourself. Folk who are depressed tend to have their 'inner critic' (I know I do) telling them they don't deserve things, they are useless etc. You need to employ some self-compassion, which is not as easy as it sounds to be fair- but needs to be done. Even if it's something simple. You say you've not been to see your team for ages- why not go? Regards the therapist- yeah I appreciate the long wait. I'm still waiting six months down the line and if I'd not paid to see a Psychiatrist privately would probably still be waiting for that yet. Obviously your decision, but I'd chase where they are up to and explain that your previous sessions weren't helpful. Reading your post- who got more out of the sessions? You or the student? To me, it doesn't sound like you did. The autism diagnosis- if you do have that condition, it may be helpful to factor that into therapy to help gain a greater understanding as to why you react in certain ways to certain things- you do touch on that above. Did you have depression prior to your surgery or did your first episode happen round about then? Well, hopefully I'm not overstepping the mark and blethering stuff you already know. I've not met you and neither am I a psychologist, so hopefully that referral comes through for you soon. Hoping you have a better day today.

You said earlier your GP had referred you for a few things- did you get referred to see a psychologist or for any psychological treatment? I don't know if you've tried this, so apologies if you have, but behavioural activation sometimes works. The basic premise is to set yourself 1-2 tasks a day, something managable (playing your guitar, say). If you can no longer be bothered after five minutes, just stop and try again the next day. Obviously if you find yourself getting enjoyment out of it keep going. The key is not to wait until you feel motivated or it won't get done. It sounds easy but it's not when your lack of motivation is all consuming. Regarding the PC upgrade. I hear what you say about money- but can you afford not to if it's something that might give you a much needed boost and seems to have provided genuine pleasure in the past?

Not new- see below. https://en-gb.facebook.com/WeWantPlates/ Slate or wood for cheeseboard only IMO

Remember this guy? used to give me the fear as a nipper

I got back to work this week on a graded return after a long time off- very tough. Got to keep focussed and keep going though. Here's hoping it works out in the end. My boss is being really good with me. @capybara hope you are managing to get some sleep now. No sleep is hellish- I keep waking up with nightmares. Although our circumstances are different, it definately takes it's toll. Take care.

Can the MacMillan nurses give you some advice about sleep hygiene- they are there to help you too. Hope things go as well as they can for you and your Dad

Anyone remember Harold Lloyd film reruns on the 80s? Used to love these.

Some might dismiss The Gruan as 'lefty shite' but nobody else in the MSN will report this stuff, so they should stick the boot in if they've evidence.

More fibs from Mr Nuttall? https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/feb/18/paul-nuttall-under-pressure-over-claims-he-served-on-charity-board

Says Boris who voted for the Iraq war and is also a proven liar. I'm not a fan of Tony Blair BTW.

Well quite, WTM. Hence standing up to Trump now. The Nazis weren't as entrenched as China is now.

This is pretty much unprecedented for a Speaker. What he said was: "What I will say is this. An address by a foreign leader to both House of Parliament is not an automatic right. It is an earned honour. Moreover, there are many precedents for state visits to take place to our country which do not include an address to both Houses of Parliament. That’s the first point. In relation to Westminster Hall, there are three key holder to Westminster Hall: the speaker of the House of Commons, the speaker of the House of Lords and the lord great chamberlain. Ordinarily we are able to work by consensus and the hall would be used for a purpose such as an address or another purpose by agreement of the three key holders. I must say to the honourable gentleman, to all who signed his early day motion and to others with strong views about this matter on either side of the argument, that before the imposition of the migrant ban I would myself have been strongly opposed to an address by President Trump in Westminster Hall. After the imposition of the migrant ban by President Trump I am even more strongly opposed to an address by President Trump in Westminster Hall. So far as the Royal Gallery is concerned, again I operate on advice, I do not perhaps have as strong a say in that matter. It is in a different part of the building [ie, in the House of Lords, not the Commons], although customarily an invitation to a visiting leader to deliver an address there would be issued in the names of the two speakers. I would not wish to issue an invitation to President Trump to speak in the Royal Gallery. And I conclude by saying to the honourable gentleman this. We value our relationship with the United States. If a state visit takes place, that is way beyond and above the pay grade of the Speaker. However, as far as this place [the House of Commons] is concerned, I feel very strongly that our opposition to racism and to sexism and our support for equality before the law and an independent judiciary are hugely important considerations in the House of Commons."

Not sure Willie, given I'm not a diplomat.