One Christmas, I got on a different plane to the rest of my family, and ended up in New York instead of Paris. I encountered Donald Trump, a suspicious concierge, and two burglars who had previously attempted to rob my house. Fun trip.
Anyway, this morning I had the pleasure of the London Underground at rush hour. I found myself crushed against the wrong door as we pulled into the station, and, although I thought I said “Excuse me”, the look on the guy’s face suggested I actually said “I’m going to steal your wallet, and ram a hot poker up your jap’s eye”.