whiskychimp

That's odd. I find them the most reasonable whilst cycling. I'd expect that's probably because they make up a large proportion of the cyclist population . It's usually other demographics that get a raging stauner, in my experience.

Are those hover shoes? Can't decide if your feet are planted or not

I had no intention of anyone enforcing it; I already see a big decrease in fans singing those words at home games, due to the connotations. It'll die sooner rather than later.

The words are embarrassing. Let's leave it and it's connotations behind.

c**t

Am I being dense? Surely moving bus 1 forward by a few minutes would mean you can catch bus 2, no?

My solution to that is never go to any resort which supplies all inclusive packages.

I mean live on the savings and rattle up your work contributions. Or even just invest it. My mortgage is at 2%, I'm making 7.3% on my investments over the long term.

Can I say, whatever youve overpaid on your mortgage, release it and put it into your pension. Tax relief plus employer contributions or 3% on your mortgage.

c***s on the road/infuriating things your partner does. "What's the speed limit?" "Am I in the right lane?" "What exit is it?" "Is it still straight on? " Is that a bus lane? " " Am I turning here? " All in one 20 minute journey. " Tell you what, I've had 4 pints and I should be driving before you" No more questions

An absolute shoeing and a lifetime ban

Got it. Tight teuchters drink singles. Good bois drink half gills

We've already established you guys use a multitude of incorrect words and phrases.

I agree wuth you but dispute your "nip and a half". Its a "half and a half" in grandad speak.

I have no idea, not my job

For once, I didnt have to be at work until 11. Few drinks last night, with the plan of a lie in and a bath before work. "Can you drop me at Ealing Broadway, I won't make the train." Actually, you had no intention of making the train as you were watching TV and had factored in a lift. She didn't get a lift and is now in a big cream puff

The woman behind me at the junction this morning. I know you were in a rush but I'll decide when it's safe for me to pull out onto the main road, not you, especially as there are high walls either side and you actually can't see what's happening. Beeping your horn is only going to slow me down and make me dawdle along the road. c**t

I'd wager you'll see Rolf before Celine

I definitely wouldn't buy a car from you.

I'd agree. I don't think cheap tyres are as safe or wear as evenly. Funnily enough, at a third of the price I wonder if they'll need replacing 3 times sooner

It'll only be suffering for a decade or so, then all the good c***s will be here and all the bad c***s will be there. At that point who gives a f**k if that country is suffering

My missus just looked at me like I had 2 heads. My crime.... "do you want to take the kids to the shows today?" Apparently, it's a fucking funfair

I refuse to go to the cinema. I go to the pictures. I don't watch a movie, I watch a film. I still miss the cartoon which used to come on before the main feature

There was a race between a tortoise and a hare. Ready Steady Go The hare sprinted off but the tortoise, having no concept of competitive sport, just went about his business. The end. The moral of this story is, if you choose not to take part, you won't lose.