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He might not be able to cross a ball but top marks for Cammy Kerr. My wife is a teacher and he was in the school today, not on official club duties, to see the kids with additional support needs. He done the same last year and had remembered a few of the kids names and written them Christmas cards. Top Marks, no press presence, just a good deed.

I'll never forget you wee man.

Corbyn is a waste of a fucking shirt. He'll happily whip his MPs to vote for a Brexit that will utterly f**k workers rights to avoid upsetting thick racist Labour voters in Sunderland and various other shit pits. He can't even see off the worst PM in living memory, leading the most shambolic Tory Government in living memory [emoji38] It's been good seeing him troll the utter f**k out of the Labour right, but ultimately he's a political coward who'd shite himself if he actually won the next GE.

Spoke to BPM

Drop his pencil and blame the fat Irish kid and the foreign exchange student from Bulgaria.

Were you talking to BPM ?

Loads of folk giving it the old 'community club' and 'Falkirk family' pish. I don't give a flying f**k if we're a community club or not. I want a club that fucking wins once in a while and doesn't make shite decision after shite decision after shite decision with the support of a large number of lickspittle arsehole fans who think that by saying "ah well never mind COYB" they're some kind of fucking amazing fan. Get us established in the Premiership again and we'll become a community club again by virtue of more folk wanting to come and see us.

He's got a point TBF. When I was at Hampden seeing my beloved ICT lift the Scottish Cup trophy for the first time in the clubs history all I could think about was "Well this is pleasant but my goodness, wouldn't it be better if Rangers were playing instead of ICT?"

We must be due to re-sign Big Marv soon.

I’d like Bain to sign for Forest Green Rovers where he’ll be forced into a vegan diet and be playing in front of about nine Gumpers at away games. Delicious. Thank you.

They already are uncontrollably seething. Over absolutely fucking miniscule tax rises on salaries above £33,000 Seriously though, politics at a UK level is fucked. This is by a mile the most useless Tory administration I can remember (even worse than the sleaze-mired version in the mid 90s), led by the most inept Prime Minister in the last 100 years. She STILL has higher approval ratings than Corbyn and Labour are barely ahead of them in most polls. May is utterly hopeless. Everything she touches turns to utter shit, and yet Corbyn can barely lay a glove on her. He's fucking shite, but as long as he occasionally mumbles something about nationalising the railways, he's a "breath of fresh air". On the plus side, he's turn Blairites into seething messes for a couple of years, which is pretty funny. In terms of Scotland, well, May is dragging the UK down the Brexit shitter and taking us with it, yet still more than half of "proud Scots" will meekly accept economic armageddon as opposed to the horror of actually standing on our own two feet We deserve to be a "region", quite frankly.

Your wee laundry rotation? Go and have a poke of your wee fanny and you might not get so bent out of shape about a fucking dress-down day.

Never really had much of an opinion on Alex Rae but after the last few months of his radio exploits I canna stand the guy. No wonder he got the punt from you, absolute wankstain. Keep up the good work geeing him stick on social media please lads.

The Beach Boys - Sloop John B

That'll have their underwear hitting the floor with a wet slap when you bring them in the front door, for sure.

The vet has confirmed that the wee man needs to be put down. 18 years he has been our best pal - I'm in bits here. Was OK earlier in work when I heard but now I'm with him I can't bear to look at him. Gave him the biggest bowl of chicken and then tons of catnip. The vet wants to put him down tomorrow - don't think I can bring myself to do it.

Buchanan is a penalty box striker getting shite balls pelted up to him.

Bain would probably go into a classroom of primary 7's and shout abuse at them. IMO.

Where's your source for this ? Where's the credible facts that you have to back up the claim we are running at a huge loss even when cuts will and are being made ? Sorry if I take 99% of what you say with a pinch of salt until it is backed up. But you have a record of talkin absolute shite on here as if you are above everyone else with inside knowledge.

Mr Campbell added: “Youth development has been part of Falkirk’s DNA. Me? I want success in the Premiership as part of the club DNA, not staying in the Championship with young players. The number one aim of the plan is to take the club back to the Premiership.” What a good c**t.

And proud.

Quite liked this one from latest Viz....

Destroying the dreams of children is literally the best thing about football. For that reason I applaud Falkirk.

I feel sorry for Buchanan. Long balls humped at him all game when it's clear for most to see that this doesn't suit his game. Sutton might help Buchanan with knock-downs and that. I'm maybe not scrutinising our games enough but laziness isn't something that I'd accuse the player of.

Robin Beck - First Time

Another one of my favourite right backs.

Rolling Stones - Start Me Up

A moment of appreciation for the talents of Ms Carey:

Jimi Hendrix - The Wind Cries Mary

Funny how this was all body swerved at the recent AGM. You cant tell me that this decision has only been made since then.

Hatred of glitter can be raised by surprise glitter.............. That moment you open a card or invitation and find yourself, the table, the carpet and the dug covered in a shower of glitter that you weren't expecting to be inside the envelope and card, and just to make the memories just that little bit more special. The person who first thought it a good idea to hide glitter in cards should made to lick glitter off of carpets and pets till they die

Patti Smith - Summer Cannibals

A triple whammy. Okkervil River - John Allyn Smith Sails

The most inept Governement and probably the most inept largest opposition party in my lifetime; absolutely useless at this politics stuff. Imagine the Scottish Government went through even half of the scandal etc. that Westminster goes through, yer Yoons would be uncontrollably seething.

P&B's Top Trumper A simple premise really. I go to this thread. I post a 'Top Trumper'. The post-filled poster's product on P&B is marked on 4 criteria: Ability Special Ability Quotability Reputability Each poster gets a score out of 10 and their idiosyncrasies are also taken into consideration when delivering an overall score. Sound familiar? This was the prelude to a sweet seasonal symphony: a savoury season of pie reviews in the fabled 'A Season Of Pies' thread. Those were happier times, with @dundeebarry posting regularly. It is, of course, the work of none other than @Big Gus p.p.r.* *Published Pie Reviewer Insipid, lacking bite, lacklustre and rapidly heading for the bin — enough about Dundee's performance on the pitch. How the hell is the poster? Big Gus (Most Influential Poster In P&B History) posts on Pie & Bovril. Dundee FC supporter; P&Ber since 25/08/07 Let's look at his reputation first. 1000+ rep in under 4000 posts - most made before the rep system was even started. Yep - pure loved. His pie reviews may have been eaten by an infamous P&B update but their aftertaste remains; a delicious reminder of how football is more than just a game: it's a period where one particular person leisurely perused perfused pork for the pleasure of other posters. Thankfully, the trail of pie crumbs led me to a website where these reviews still remain: untouched, undisturbed & crusted in the accretion of matter of pie — like the hot plates your dry match day pie will lie before you buy it. Now let's look at the poster himself. Value For Money: A published pie reviewer and voted by his peers as the 'Most Influential Poster In P&B History'. 9/10 Presentation: Well-paragraphed and structured reviews in Myriad font. I'm a Myriad man myself. If a post is structured properly it shouldn't really matter though and his style is certainly a cut above anything else I've seen this season. His threads are fairly well-heated. They don't scald others but he loses 1 mark for still not being piping hot. Solid effort though. 6/10 Filling: This poster's high point. Posts are posts wherever you go but his are warm and succinct and you can taste the peppered metaphors and other spicy figures of speech that have gone into them. Once you munch further and the saucy sense of humour comes into play with the pastry-pondering, you know his posts are a tasty treat. 8/10 Consistency: Not much to say here as if a P&Ber has a wobbly post or, worse, a full-on collapsing greasy mess of a meaty post — you best get out of their thread or it's Heads Gone time. No worries here with the pie-pundit's posts. The tolerance test was easily passed as I devoured page after page of pie deliberation, the slightly soggier posts on the bottom were beginning to get sloppy but the threat of a collapsing thread tragedy was never a worry. 7/10 Overall: Excellent effort with only some slight problems on presentation, filling and consistency really letting him down. With clean conclusions, friendly posts, original source and the high possibility of a flash of wit, Big Gus is the early frontrunner in this series of Top Trumps. 7/10 P&B's Top Trumper Of course it isn't @Big Gus - he's a #onepointer. It would be doing the poster a disservice to solely refer to his experience of pie stalls and their services... He used the term 'minter' in most of his posts; his posts are primarily the term 'minter'; he reviewed his eyes tasting the filling of an adolescent's blouse; he was a 'white knight' to the Mumsnetters before his own misogyny rendered him mum; he took his reputation on an online Scottish football forum as seriously as he took his reputation on an online Scottish football forum: very seriously; he posted an acceptance speech when Big Gus, unbeknownst to him, wasn't voted the 'Most Influential Poster In P&B History'. Now let's look at the poster himself. Value For Money: A rare sight these days after crumbling during the Mumsnet saga. Presentation: Insipid grammar. 3.14/10 Filling: This poster's low point. Posts are posts wherever you go but his are filled with flabby fabrications and excessive exaggeration and you can taste the overcooked colloquialisms. Once you munch further and the dry sense of humour disintegrates with the puffy pastry posts, you know his posts are lacking bite. 3.14/10 Consistency: Wobbly posts and, worse, full-on collapsing greasy messes of meaty posts — it was for the best when 'A Season Of Pies' was culled in P&B's Threads Gone time. His threads went stale and his shining white armour was shown to be rusty with his historical histrionics about women. 3.14/10 Overall: Rapidly heading for the bin. 3.14/10

The very definition of ‘scrambling for relevance’ here, Bairnardo.

The Killers - When You Were Young

I get the impression he's managed to get this far through his life without anybody pointing out what a c**t he is, and now it's happening, he can't deal.

Exactly. Oh boo fucking hoo, I had to queue for a pie, this never happens at Old Trafford. Also I got caught in a wee bit of traffic on King Street and I didn't get home til 6.30pm. Get tae f**k you arseholes. f**k playing in a ground in the country next to a fucking bypass.

Taskmaster is fucking brilliant.

@me next time fam I will wreck u

According to BPM it was "nothing like 400k" and was more in the region of "100-150k". Another cutting edge exclusive from the Club Insider.

A baby went shopping? A man followed them round a shop smiling at them and they thought he was just being friendly? He stole the purse but the woman wasn't sure if it was from under her arm or from the car? If it was from the car why would he have followed them around? The guy went to another store and used her cards, plural? So he made multiple transactions in the same store and used different cards to do so? They won't name the store or give a description yet want any witnesses to come forward? I have to say that I'm dubious of it all

Yeah, I believe Thistle-Hibs games always have terrific atmospheres, famous for it. I had a ST in the RDS for a season and it was just awful. Gave it up after a year. Never been in the upper except to look around but it looks pretty sparsely populated most of the time. I’d suggest the nature of the game creates the atmosphere. I’ve been in a crowd of 500 at Harlaw Park and it was electric and a full house at Old Trafford and it was like a morgue. At the risk of labouring the point, my ire is because there is no need to be moving to Kingsford or anywhere else and to suggest if we had always been at Kingsford we wouldn’t be any the wiser is just fucking surreal. If Dick Donald & particularly Chris Anderson had been around in the 1990s & 2000s Pittodrie would have been redeveloped. No question about it. They weren’t though and so no redevelopment was done other than the eyesore at the Beach End. For 25 years. Nothing. And, of course, the sale of Pittodrie became more and more desirable the more and more debt was run up. Not just desirable, it became a necessity. That the debt was cleared, not by fiscal propriety, but because of outside investment by Aberdeen fans has to go down as one of the flukes of the century. Suddenly the sale of Pittodrie would contribute more to the building of a new stadium and by some dint of trick memory that was always the plan. Because by now, of course, Pittodrie had assumed the status of an actual midden thanks to neglect. Rebuilding there would cost so much more and the capacity would be similar to Cliftonhill, besides which planning permission for a bazillion flats was already approved so…y’know. I have no faith in the AFC board and I hold them entirely responsible for this quagmire (giggity). Hearts built 3 new stands almost 20 years ago. Hibs weren’t far behind. They are our contemporaries, what the f**k were we doing meanwhile? Spending a million quid on Paul fucking Bernard to finish 7th. Why so many are agreeing with the board so enthusiastically and nodding meekly to their f**k-uppery is utterly bewildering.

Francoise Hardy - Un Deux Trois Chat

Yes all these modern Asdas are the same; soulless concrete, glass and plastic shells with no atmosphere. There's no thought for the paying punters these days, they just want our money and don't give a f**k about the experience.

Did you?