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The Derek McInnes Saga Official Unveiling Ceremony 8 December 2017

The fuss about that wee trick was ridiculous. I doubt Colin Hamilton was used to journalists grabbing him immediately after a game for his opinion, but he did come across as being a bit churlish . He probably regretted it and the incident and the comments certainly didn't merit the attention they got. After going toe to toe with Rangers over 2014/15 and providing a lifetime's worth of memories and LOLS - already well covered in this thread - we got thumped twice in the opening two fixtures of 2015/16. We lost so many great Alloa players that summer and their replacements were not in the same class. Unfortunately, Danny Lennon sent them out to have a go at Rangers and we lost 5-1 at home and 4-0 at Ibrox. It appeared that the era of Alloa making mugs of Rangers was over. The arrival of Jack Ross in December gave us new hope. Immediately recognising that we were shite, he sought and was granted permission to narrow the pitch as much as possible for the second half of the season. Even though this was done at the halfway point of the season and used before we played Rangers, the line was pushed before the game that this had been done specifically to frustrate Warburton's wonders. Warburton, who had already complained about the surface, claimed to be "bemused". That proved to be the case as Rangers, after missing chances early on, got bogged down and frustrated. Their bemused manager had no plan B and despite winning more than 20 corners, they had no idea what to do with them. At the other end, they seemed clueless on how to defend the very few set pieces that Alloa won, with a header coming off the bar from a free kick before Jason Marr headed us in front from a corner. Spot the seething away fans in the home end below. Rangers scrambled a late equaliser and Warburton claimed afterwards that it was a freak result. In reality, the game showed up some serious flaws in him and his team. His failure to address defending set pieces in particular would later cost him the Scottish Cup. ^^^ "Bemused" This special set of games concluded with relegated Alloa going to Ibrox for flag day. There was controversy before kick off when two Alloa players, Duffy and Caddis, stood with bowed heads during the guard of honour. A few minutes later Duffy picked up a loose pass and put Alloa 1-0 up. There were only 50 Alloa fans there, high in the main stand, and the goal was greeted with almost complete silence. Rangers missed a penalty but equalised just before half time. The second half was just like the game at the Recs - minus the tight pitch - as Warburton was unable to work out how to break down a well organised but limited group of part-time players who were on their way to the third tier. It finished 1-1 and pissing on the title party was an appropriate way to end a couple of surreal and quite magnificent seasons of games between Alloa and Rangers. We only lost 3 from 9 and only once from four at Ibrox. Special bonus pic, more seething away fans in the home end the night of the 3-2 Challenge Cup win. And to put in all in perspective, the previous Alloa team to avoid defeat at Ibrox

And I've now fixed the league tables, and reformatted them as per welshbairn's wishes. Hope you all enjoy your new league table format.

It's another week closer to shipping out the cowards without another damaging result. The postponement is great news.

Stephen Dobbie remembers the moment in 2006 when, at the age of 24, and when his career should have been taking off, he found himself shunted on loan from St Johnstone to Dumbarton for the season. It seemed a desperate fate for a footballer of such ability. “As you get older you look back and say to yourself, ‘I wish I’d known then what I know now’,” says the Queen of the South striker. “I didn’t look after myself right back then, I went out a lot, my diet was wrong, I never went to the gym. I needed a wake-up call and going to Dumbarton gave me that. Brendan was a great manager. He changed me at Swansea, made me more of a No 10 “I was playing with part-time guys who were coming straight from their work into training. I was supposed to be the pro with a promising career. I looked at myself and thought, ‘I need to get my head on this’.” He did, too, and it became a remarkable story. Now 35, Dobbie is back with Queen of the South, a club he loves and for whom he has scored 99 goals, 18 of them so far this season. Along the way he has played in three English Football League Championship play-off finals in front of 80,000-plus fans — he was on the winning side in two of them — and gained promotion to England’s Premier League with Brendan Rodgers and Swansea City. Exactly four years after his part-time days with Dumbarton, Dobbie lined up for Swansea in their Premier League debut against Manchester City at the Etihad, on the same day that Sergio Agüero was making his City debut. “People doubted me in my early days, maybe rightly,” says Dobbie. “It took a bit of luck and a lot of hard work to get to the level I reached in England. I remember when I had one season left at Queen of the South in 2008 I trained all summer, got really fit, and told myself ‘right, this is it, this is the time, this is your chance’. “I scored a lot that following season [23 goals in 34 games] and with five games to go someone said to me, ‘Swansea City are coming to watch you, they want to sign you’. I scored about seven goals in those last five games and, when the season finished, I got the message that Swansea were signing me. It was a dream come true. “I went on to have some memorable times. Scoring in a Championship play-off final at Wembley in front of 90,000 fans, with my friends and family there, was unforgettable. I had great times with Swansea, and also with Blackpool under Ian Holloway. “People say I was a late developer but maybe that’s how it had to be. I might have had a bad injury, or something else might have happened to change my career. I was at Rangers with Stephen Hughes, who was tremendous, and his career started brightly before fading. I seemed to be the opposite: it got better for me as I got older.” Dobbie credits Brendan Rodgers, his manager at Swansea between 2010 and 2012, for having given his career fresh impetus and direction. It culminated in Dobbie scoring and Swansea beating Reading 4-2 in that 2011 play-off final to reach the English Premier League. “I can’t praise Brendan enough,” he says. “Apart from being a really nice person he was a great manager to play under. Even if you weren’t in the team, you still looked forward to training with him on a Monday. He had this way of treating his players and looking after them. Dobbie says Palmerston ‘just feels right’ and is happy at home in LythamSTU FORSTER/GETTY IMAGES “Brendan changed me. He noticed that my ability was best when not straight up against someone, so he dropped me back and made me more of a No 10. I played about 44 games out of 50 matches for him at Swansea the season we won promotion. My confidence soared and that day at Wembley was unforgettable.” The following season, however, Dobbie probably realised his glass ceiling. Having played so much for Swansea under Rodgers, he made fewer than ten appearances in the EPL and was loaned back once more to Blackpool, where he would play in another play-off final at the end of 2011-12. In fact, from 2010 Dobbie played in three successive Championship play-off finals — with Swansea and twice on loan with Blackpool — winning two of them. “I had no regrets about it,” says Dobbie. “With Swansea going up into the EPL, of course they were going to go out and buy better players. I still played a few times that season, but then I went back to Blackpool and really enjoyed it there. I played under Ian Holloway at Blackpool, which was fantastic. He was very different from Brendan, very gung-ho, sort of ‘if they score four against us, we’ll score five’. For Ian it was all about attack and it was exciting.” By 2016 Dobbie had enjoyed seven fulfilling and lucrative years in English football, but the downturn was coming. Yet even then he surprised many by choosing Queen of the South for his next move at the age of 34, when far bigger clubs and far more money were on offer to him. “I had a great time at Queens first time round and I always said I wanted to go back there one day. I like the club and I have a good relationship with the supporters. It’s like being a kid again, I’m loving my football. “I was at Bolton under Neil Lennon and on the bench much of the time. I reached a stage when I thought, ‘what am I doing here, this isn’t enjoyable’. When you get to that age, 34, you just want to be playing football and be happy. “So I made up my mind, and it was easy. I had other options in England when I left Bolton — Blackpool, Oldham, Rochdale and others — but I knew where I wanted to be. I wanted to go back to Queen of the South. “First time round at Palmerston I played in a Scottish Cup final and we played in Europe for a first time. It’s a small club but it just feels right.” After an itinerant career, Dobbie, his wife, Susanne, and their two small boys, Jack and Maxwell, have put down their roots in Lytham St Annes. “I drive up and down, it’s fine,” he says. “I can get to home games in Dumfries in two hours. Tuesdays and Thursdays I also drive up and down for training in Hamilton. After all our moving around when I went back to Blackpool in 2014 we said, ‘right, enough, this is now home’. I don’t see us leaving Lytham.” And how long has Dobbie, the great predator, got left in football? “I want to play on for at least another two years. But when I finish, I know the thing I’ll miss most is that feeling of scoring a goal. There is no feeling like it; I’ll really miss it.” Have boots, will travel: Dobbie’s great adventure July 2000 Signs for Rangers but doesn’t make it to first team. July 2003 Joins Hibernian. 35 appearances, 2 goals. June 2005 Joins St Johnstone. 20 appearances, 1 goal. July 2006 Joins Dumbarton on loan. 17 appearances, 10 goals. June 2007 Joins Queen of the South at 25, plays in Scottish Cup final. 84 appearances, 47 goals. June 2009 Signs for Swansea City. May 2010 Joins Blackpool on loan and helps them beat Cardiff City 3-2 in Football League play-off final. May 2011 Plays in second play-off final at Wembley and scores in Swansea City’s 4-2 defeat of Reading. May 2012 Plays for Blackpool in third successive play-off final, but they lose 2-1 to West Ham United. June 2013 Signs for Crystal Palace, but goes back to Blackpool for a third loan spell. July 2015 Signs for Bolton Wanderers. 24 appearances, 4 goals. August 2016 Returns to Queen of the South, aged 34. December 9 2017 Scores hat-trick v Dunfermline and has 99 career goals for Queen of the South.

So Tynie drops a bollock. Edmund corrects him and takes The Cardi's name in vain. Cardi lashes out at Edmund in retaliation and goes full-on ma baw by producing a 3D league table. "SCENES" in the quiz thread? Surely not?

And in the top flight I em er ahem appear to have won... So down go Leeds Saint and Eednud. In the play off its @The_Kincardine who shouldn't have went to the pub for the last round. In the Steelers Wheel the big guns of @MSU & @alang1993 make it up. In the promotion play off @gkneil just got there ahead of @The Captain Sadly @SlipperyP and @deej are relegated. @pleslie99 will be in the play off And in the BH league well done to @dee_62 and @BigBo10 who are promoted. @welshbairn is in the play off So in the play off we have @The_Kincardine v @gkneil and @pleslie99 v @welshbairn The question is. The Spanish Steps are in Rome, they are decidedly meh but alas how many steps are there? Answrs via PM by 8pm tomorrow. Good luck and well done everyone. Plus a shout out to @Cardinal Richelieu for all the work he does on this. p,s Get your friends involved to keep the leagues vibrant. Have a nice weekend

The Derek McInnes debacle has simply confirmed what most of us already knew; the Banter Years are never going away. As @djchapsticks correctly pointed out in the The Rangers Next Permanent Manager thread: I believe that a full, comprehensive list of these fuckups needs to be kept enshrined somewhere on the internet, and where better to do so than on Pie and Bovril. All contributions welcome, and will be updating the OP with the best of the moments that you can remember from the last 5 years. Let's get the ball rolling, shall we? The Banter Years 2011/12 13th February 2012: Rangers announce their intention to go into Administration. 14th February 2012: Rangers go into Administration and are docked 10 points, ending any hope a title bid. Fans gather outside the gates of Ibrox demanding answers, and one declares to the news cameras that 'the big hoose must stay open!', regardless of what happens next. 16th February 2012: Manager Ally McCoist is interviewed from his car window, defiantly stating that 'we don't do walking away.' 18th February 2012: The fans pack Ibrox to the rafters, looking to send a defiant message to the rest of Scottish football. Kilmarnock beat them 1-0. 3rd March 2012: Rumours surface that Rangers will not be granted a licence to compete in Europe next season, owing to accounts from 2011 not being submitted to UEFA. Little do they realise that, where they're heading, they won't be needing to worry about qualifying for European football any time soon. 5th April 2012: Rangers' debts are estimated to be some £134m, including just shy of £100m owed to HMRC. 7th April 2012: There is a full stadium display at Ibrox, whereby fans are encouraged to 'show a red card to liquidation'. Who can forget this hilarious Union Bears display? 13th May 2012: A consortium - led by Charles Green - agrees to buy the club from Craig Whyte, confident of securing a CVA with HMRC in order to 'preserve the club's history'. 2012/13 12th June 2012: Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (yes, the same Her Majesty who Rangers fans sing their praises of) announce that they will reject the Company Voluntary Agreement that would've spared Rangers from being liquidated. 4th July 2012: Newco Rangers are refused entry into the SPL. The hope is that they will be admitted into the SFL's top tier, Division 1, allowing a swift return to the top flight. 13th July 2012: Rangers instead are ordered to start life in the 3rd Division, at that time the lowest tier of the Scottish football pyramid. 29th July 2012: Rangers need extra time to beat Brechin in the first round of the Ramsdens Cup. The ball also gets stuck on top of the famous Glebe Park hedge. 7th August 2012: Kevin Kyle signs, he later recalls: 'I sat down with the manager and he asked what I was looking for. I just said a crazy figure and almost got what I wanted'. 11th August 2012: Rangers' first game in the 3rd Division ends in a 2-2 draw at Peterhead. They need a last minute equaliser from Andy Little to rescue them from defeat. 18th September 2012: Rangers are knocked out of the Ramsdens Cup on penalties at home to Queen of the South. 6th October 2012: Rangers lose to Stirling Albion, who are not only bottom of the table at the time, but also without a manager for the day, as Greig McDonald is busy getting married. After seven games, Rangers' Third Division record reads played 7, won 3, drawn 3 and lost 1. 23rd November 2012: Elgin City vs Rangers is postponed, after Elgin sell too many tickets and have to call off the game on safety grounds. 2nd December 2012: Rangers beat Elgin 3-0 in the Scottish Cup Fourth Round, but a dancing fan in the away end steals the limelight. 26th December 2012: Clyde fans unveil a banner at Ibrox, wishing Rangers a happy first Christmas. Both in the stadium and after the game, it goes down well. 29th December 2012: Some 30,000 Rangers fans travel to Hampden to play Queens Park. They require a 91st minute winner against ten (amateur) men. Meanwhile, future multi-million pound player Andy Robertson plays a full 90 minutes at left back for Queens Park and escapes the notice of the Rangers scouts. 16th January 2013: Ally McCoist beams proudly, standing with the single greatest bar chart ever produced. 2nd February 2013: Rangers draw Dundee United away in the Scottish Cup fifth round, and the board declares a boycott of Tannadice. 365 Rangers fans turn up anyway and watch United dismantle them 3-0. 3rd April 2013: Francisco Sandaza is sacked after falling for a prank call from a Celtic fan masquerading as an agent, in which he expressed his desire to leave the club. 2013/14 24th July 2013: Rangers lose 1-0 in a friendly at Hillsborough. They unveil the worst banner ever seen, congratulating Prince William and Kate Middleton on having a baby. 3rd August 2013: Nicky Law's claims that Rangers can win the quadruple are extinguished by Forfar Athletic's extra-time victory in the League Cup. 12th September 2013: Ian Black is suspended for 10 games by the SFA after admitting to placing bets on football matches. 22nd September 2013: Rangers exact revenge on Forfar in the league with a 1-0 win. Ally McCoist blames the wind for Rangers not scoring more. 14th December 2013: Stenhousemuir vs Rangers is postponed, it is mistakenly thought at first to have been high winds that caused a burger van blows into a temporary stand at Ochilview. 4th January 2014: Ally McCoist goes to the media and complains about a fixture pile up of 4 games in 11 days, despite his side being 14 points clear at the top and having a wage bill at least 10 times the size of anyone else's in League One. 22nd February 2014: A rare slip up for Rangers in the league as they draw 3-3 at home to Stenhousemuir. Sean Higgins' late equaliser from the penalty spot - and his subsequent celebration - sends Rangers TV commentator Tom Miller into meltdown. 6th April 2014: This can arguably be termed the first big loss of the Banter Years. Rangers, who had players talking up the possibilities of quadruples at the start of this season, lose the Challenge Cup final in extra time against Raith Rovers. 7th April 2014: Furious backlash as Rangers' staff party goes ahead as scheduled. Ally McCoist is caught doing karaoke just hours after loss to Raith. 12th April 2014: Despite being handed home advantage in a Scottish Cup semi final, Rangers lose 3-1 to Dundee United. Simonsen's gift for United's third sums it up. 2014/15 27th June 2014: Kris Boyd returns to Rangers, he winds up scoring just 3 goals in 29 Championship games. He goes on to be brilliant once again at Kilmarnock. 10th August 2014: Rangers find themselves in the Championship with both Hearts and Hibs. On the opening day, trailing 1-0 to Hearts in injury time, they pull a last minute equaliser out of the bag to rescue a point. Except Osman Sow has other ideas, as he runs up the park, slots it past Cammy Bell, and gives Hearts the three points and the springboard to cruise to the title. 3rd September 2014: It is revealed that, in 2012, Mike Ashley bought the naming rights to Ibrox for a quid. 1st November 2014: Rangers progress to the League Cup semi final, and are drawn against Celtic for the first game between the two clubs since 2012. There's a lot of excitement from the watching bears. Little do they realise how sick they'll grow of playing Celtic soon enough. 3rd December 2014: Rangers are 2-0 up at Alloa and cruising into the Petrofac Training Cup final. Alloa score three goals in the last twenty minutes to knock them out. 12th December 2014: Ally McCoist offers his resignation, it's all up in the air for a few days and Rangers eventually confirm this. But he carries on as manager until... 21st December 2014: Ally McCoist is placed on gardening leave. Kenny McDowall, with all the willingness of an Iranian hostage, becomes caretaker. 22nd December 2014: The Rangers AGM to end all Rangers AGMs. Held in a gazebo, fans stuck in the away corner of Ibrox, everybody boos. Just glorious. 27th December 2014: Hibs demolish Rangers 4-0 at Easter Road. Ian Black is substituted before half time, caretaker Kenny McDowall looks lost, and Hearts go 15 points clear at the top. 16th January 2015: Rangers and Hearts meet for a 'top of the table' clash in snowy conditions. The match is quickly abandoned. Protesting Rangers fans then try breaking into Ibrox, in a comedic precursor to the storming of the US Capitol building. 20th January 2015: Jim White interviews Charles Green at his bedside in the hospital. It's bigger than Frost-Nixon. 8th February 2015: Raith Rovers have further cup trouble in store for Rangers, the ground's almost empty and Rangers are dumped out of the Scottish Cup. 7th March 2015: Just a week after Hearts demolish Cowdenbeath 10-0, Rangers can only manage a 0-0 draw against the Blue Brazil. 12th March 2015: Stuart McCall is appointed Rangers manager. He starts off with home draws to relegation fodder Livingston and Alloa. 17th March 2015: In the latter of these two games, an Ibrox attendee is convinced that Alloa are up to no good as usual. 2nd May 2015: Despite comfortably having the biggest budget in the league, Rangers finish third, after a 2-2 draw at champions Hearts. 28th May 2015: After seeing off Queen of the South and Hibs, a full house at Ibrox watches on expectantly as Motherwell win 3-1 in the first leg of the play-off final. 31st May 2015: This is the second big game in the Banter Years. Rangers go to Fir Park knowing anything less than a 2 goal win is insufficient. They lose 3-0 instead, a 6-1 aggregate overall. Here are just some of the incidents that occur: Lee McCulloch nearly has his eye taken out by a flag, Cammy Bell punches a looping ball into his own net, Bilel Mohsni and Lee Erwin get into a post-match scrap, and Motherwell fans invade the pitch to goad the tiny allocation that Rangers were given. Rangers stay in the Championship for a second season, and their grand sweep back to the top flight of Scottish football is derailed. 2015/16 15th June 2015: Mark Warburton becomes Rangers manager. On paper it's a pretty good appointment. 25th July 2015: Rangers get off to a flyer with a 6-2 win over Hibs in the Challenge Cup. A good result, although their fans are preoccupied welcoming Hibs player Scott Allan (who has been linked with them all summer) to their club, just as they did a decade ago with Scott Brown. 13th August 2015: Boyhood Rangers fan Scott Allan ends up joining Celtic instead. Hibs also get Liam Henderson out of the deal, he'll reappear later. 22nd September 2015: Rangers' storming start to the season is finally put on hold by St Johnstone in a 3-1 defeat at Ibrox in the League Cup. 19th December 2015: Despite said start, Rangers chuck away an 8 point lead at the top. A defeat at Falkirk means they're now level on points with Hibs. 10th April 2016: Finally - on attempt number four - Rangers win the Challenge Cup, having wrapped up the league a few days earlier. Things are looking up. 17th April 2016: In the Scottish Cup semi final, Rangers lay down a marker by knocking Celtic out on penalties. This is it. They're back. We've got a title race on next season, and Rangers only have to beat Hibs in the final to secure European football and crown a fantastic season. 21st May 2016: Not so fast. Hibs beat Rangers 3-2 in the Scottish Cup final. I'm biased, but this arguably might be the absolute peak of the Banter Years, solely because of what happens next. David Gray heads in a last minute winner, the full time whistle blows and thousands of Hibs supporters run on the park. A couple of fans goad/mildly irritate Rangers players, who subsequently refuse to collect their runner up medals. A handful of Rangers fans attempt to restore order by going onto the pitch themselves, and scuffles break out. Rangers then release an utter heads gone of a statement, and claims are made that all 11 Rangers players have been attacked. 22nd May 2016: The true dawn of the Statement Era starts here. Rangers, sore from the defeat the day before, double down on their original statement. The website crashes as the whole of Scottish football attempts to get on and read it. 2016-17 24th May 2016: Rangers sign Joey Barton. Joey Barton immediately goes on the offensive promising all sorts of 'I'll take on Celtic single-handedly' stuff. 6th August 2016: Rangers fans unveil a big stadium display promising that they're 'GOING FOR 55'. Mark Warburton admits a few years later that his 'heart sank' when he saw the display, as it was a hugely optimistic goal. They proceed to draw 1-1 at home to Hamilton Accies. 19th August 2016: Joey 'this Scottish football lark is easy' Barton meets Killie left back Greg Taylor, who takes a red card for the team in every sense of the phrase. 20th August 2016: Rangers sign Joe Garner for £1.8m, their first £1m+ signing of the Banter Years. He doesn't even last a year. 10th September 2016: Rangers go to Parkhead for the first time since 2012, they lose 5-1. Moussa Dembélé bags a hat-trick and the gap looks very wide. 13th September 2016: In attempts at 'clear the air' talks after the defeat, Joey Barton and Andy Halliday get into a massive spat. Barton is sent home from training. 19th September 2016: Marquee summer signing Joey Barton is banned from training for 3 weeks. 25th September 2016: Rangers go to Pittodrie, James Maddison curls in a last minute winner for the Dons. Warburton rages about the free kick being given. 10th November 2016: Joey Barton leaves Rangers, with his autobiography firmly promoted. 16th November 2016: Martyn Waghorn, carrying a fish supper, is called "shite" by a schoolchild. Waghorn confronts the kid, who doesn't back down. It goes viral on Twitter. 23rd December 2016: Rangers fans hijack the generic Glad All Over chant to serenade Joey Garner, they try to take it to #1 in the Christmas charts. In their infinite delusion, they believe that they're close to doing so, when in fact they've only managed to get the song to 31st. 1st February 2017: Ian Cathro's Hearts beat Rangers 4-1. That is not a typo. 10th February 2017: Mark Warburton resigns. Except he hasn't. Except he has. Except he hasn't. Except he has. This goes on all night, and eventually it's revealed that Warburton tried to jump ship to Forest and the Rangers board called his bluff. All in all, it's a PR farce and Warburton slinks off. More statements released. 19th February 2017: Murtymania is running wild. Graeme Murty is the new caretaker manager and he leads his Rangers side to a defeat at Dens Park, their first in twenty games against Dundee. He inexplicably does a headstand. Hilarity ensues. 24th February 2017: Bottom club Inverness Caledonian Thistle also beat Murty's Rangers. It feels like everyone's getting in on the act now. 11th March 2017: Pedro Caixinha becomes Rangers manager on a three-year deal. His first task is to watch Rangers take another pumping at Celtic Park, but wait... 12th March 2017: A late Clint Hill goal rescues a point from Parkhead! The ballgirl behind the goals doesn't seem best pleased about it. Murty is now the messiah in the eyes of Rangers fans for drawing with Celtic, which shows just how low standards have fallen. 7th May 2017: Rangers beat Partick Thistle to secure a Europa League spot. Having spent a year moralising about pitch invasions, dozens of bears now spill onto the Firhill pitch to celebrate. 'The Banter Years are over!', they proclaim. 17th May 2017: Aberdeen win at Ibrox for the first time in 26 years, another proud Rangers record falls by the wayside. For levity, here's a Rangers fan making the most of their opportunity - running away from the ground with the ball when it comes to them. 21st May 2017: Rangers' 'Going for 55' season ends with them limping to 3rd, as close to St Johnstone in 4th as they are to Aberdeen in 2nd. Caixinha is kept on. 2017/18 19th June 2017: Rangers - starting their European journey with hopes of the group stages - are drawn against Progrès Niederkorn, minnows of the Luxembourg league. 29th June 2017: In mildly embarrassing circumstances, Rangers only win 1-0 at home in the first leg of their first European adventure in six years. The fans also throw paper aeroplanes at the Progrès keeper and will eventually be fined by UEFA for this. Anyway, they should surely have enough to get past Progrès out in Luxembourg? 4th July 2017: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Rangers lose 2-0 on the night and crash out of the Europa League 2-1 on aggregate at the very first hurdle. This is the JFK moment of the Banter Years, everyone will remember where they were. Pedro Caixinha is seen standing in a hedge, arguing with fans. 12th August 2017: Rangers welcome Hibs to Ibrox for the first match between the two sides since the 2016 Scottish Cup final. The fans smell blood and with Neil Lennon in charge of Hibs this has the feel of an Old Firm game. Remarkably it's kept off TV, but Hibs win 3-2 (again) and Neil Lennon gestures to the fans. 13th August 2017: Club 1872 suffer a severe cranial detachment about said gestures and release a statement applauding their fans for not being provoked. 22nd October 2017: Rangers, still on the hunt for their first bit of major silverware, take on Motherwell in the League Cup semi final, and lose 2-0. This is not really what any of their fans had expected, despite Louis Moult being a far better footballer than anything they have to offer. During the game, there are two elbows that go unpunished. Bruno Alves elbows Moult, while Rangers' Fábio Cardoso suffers a broken nose from a RyanBowman elbow and, you guessed it... 24th October 2017: Rangers suffer a severe cranial detachment as Bruno Alves is given a two game ban, while Bowman somehow gets off with nothing. 26th October 2017: After snatching a draw from the jaws of victory at home to Kilmarnock, Pedro Caixinha is sacked. A loyal servant to the Banter Years. 18th November 2017: Graeme Murty, somehow still in charge as caretaker of Rangers at this point as they've not bothered to replace Caixinha, oversees a 2-0 defeat at home to Hamilton Academical. It's the first time they've lost a league match at Ibrox against Accies in 91 years. 24th November 2017: Not to be outdone by his last stint as Rangers caretaker, Murty travels to the bottom club on a Friday night and loses 2-1. Again. 3rd December 2017: Graeme Murty guides Rangers to back-to-back victories in the space of a week over Derek McInnes' Aberdeen to move Rangers into second. 4th December 2017: But what's this? After 5 weeks of deliberation, Rangers have decided that they want Derek McInnes as their manager. The media tapping up goes into overdrive, it appears that Rangers have got their man until... 7th December 2017: Derek McInnes decides to stay at Aberdeen, Rangers release a pathetic 'didn't want him anyway' statement and use the word concomitant. 8th December 2017: In Aberdeen's next match, their fans unveil a banner reading 'Concomitant you Reds'. 11th March 2018: Celtic go to Ibrox with Rangers knowing that a win for them will take them just 3 points behind, the title race is on when Josh Windass fires Rangers into a lead. With the game delicately poised at 2-2, Celtic are reduced to ten men. Surely this is the moment for Rangers to pounce? No, Édouard scores and 10 man Celtic win 3-2. 15th April 2018: But Rangers have one more chance to stop Celtic's double treble in their tracks. Instead, Celtic cruise to the sort of victory now becoming alarmingly familiar to Rangers fans. It finishes 4-0. Meanwhile, boyhood Rangers fan Andy Halliday is substituted before half time, and Daniiel Candeias storms down the tunnel when he's taken off. Celtic are now undefeated in ten derbies. 17th April 2018: Captain Lee Wallace and veteran striker Kenny Miller are suspended after an altercation with Graeme Murty. The club is in turmoil. 24th April 2018: Hibs cut Rangers' away allocation at Easter Road for the final game of the season. Rangers release a late night statement full of tears and snotters, swearing revenge on Hibs for having the audacity to turn away the blue pound. It's not the first statement about Hibs that Jim Traynor has scrawled in crayon. 29th April 2018: As long as Rangers can avoid defeat at Parkhead, Celtic will not be able to win the title against their bitter rivals. This plan falls apart as Celtic race to a 5-0 lead within 53 minutes. Quite honestly, Celtic taking their foot off the gas is all that stops it being much, much worse for the Ibrox side. 1st May 2018: Graeme Murty is removed from his position as Rangers manager. Just who does Dave King turn to now? 4th May 2018: Steven Gerrard is appointed as the next manager of Rangers, with much pomp and fanfare from the Ibrox club. 13th May 2018: Rangers, who famously refuse to settle for second best, are forced to settle for third for the second consecutive season. They end on a high note, drawing 5-5 with Hibs at Easter Road in a match that went from the hosts being 3-0 up, to Rangers leading 5-3, to Jamie Maclaren rescuing a point with a last minute equaliser. Neil Lennon, a permanent thorn in Rangers' side, celebrates Hibs' last minute equaliser by pretending that he is an aeroplane. 2018/19 5th August 2018: A late equaliser from Aberdeen's Bruce Anderson denies Steven Gerrard his first three points as Rangers manager. He's not worried, though, as he proclaims that Rangers are 'a class above' Aberdeen - a quote that may reemerge later. Alfredo Morelos earns his first of three red cards against Aberdeen this season. 12th August 2018: A full stadium display is planned for Rangers' first domestic home game under Gerrard, the message is simple: 'Our Club, Our City'. Unfortunately, it gets leaked again, and the visiting St Mirren fans take full advantage. 23rd August 2018: Rangers have made a flying start to the Gerrard era. In a pre-match press conference days before their game at Fir Park, Motherwell captain Peter Hartley remarks that seeing Fábio Cardoso break his nose in last season's League Cup semi final 'was fun to watch, the way he was weeping.' He is forced to apologise. 26th August 2018: Peter Hartley scores an injury time header to snatch a point against Rangers. 28th October 2018: After all sorts of ticketing rows and statements, Rangers meet Aberdeen in the League Cup semi final. With Celtic having beaten Hearts earlier in the day, Rangers know that they are 90 minutes away from a first Old Firm final since 2011. Once again, it doesn't go to plan. Lewis Ferguson, son of Rangers forward Derek, gets the late winner for Aberdeen. 8th November 2018: It's another heads gone statement from Rangers, and they don't even have the guts to tweet it through fear of ridicule. Daniel Candeias is (admittedly ridiculously) sent off by Willie Collum the previous Saturday, and upon finding out that their appeal is unsuccessful, the toys go out of the pram once again. 29th December 2018: Rangers win 1-0 against Celtic. Joyous scenes at Ibrox. They've finally seen off their bitter foe and the title race is on! 5th January 2019: With a three-way duel between Celtic, Rangers and Kilmarnock on the cards, Rangers take preventative steps and sign Jordan Jones from Kilmarnock. They won't need his services until the summer, however, so they opt to sign him on a pre-contract. There's always a risk with these deals that the player gets injured, or worse... 23rd January 2019: Jordan Jones scores the winner against his future club and deals their title hopes a massive blow in the process, as Kilmarnock beat Rangers 2-1 at Rugby Park. On social media, pockets of Rangers fans demand that his contract is torn up immediately. 3rd March 2019: Aberdeen hold Rangers to a draw in their Scottish Cup quarter final. They'll meet again a week on Tuesday at Ibrox, with Aberdeen in Glasgow to play Celtic just 72 hours earlier. It seems unlikely that Derek McInnes could pull off a third win in Glasgow over Rangers in a single season, something that no Aberdeen manager has ever done before. 12th March 2019: Rangers lose 2-0 to Aberdeen in the replay and crash out of the Scottish Cup. Aberdeen, a club previously synonymous with bottling games against the Old Firm in Glasgow, have now knocked Rangers out of both cup competitions. After 29 games, Rangers have only one point more in the league than they did last season. The natives are growing restless. 16th March 2019: The Vanguard Bears, a lovely bunch of people, organise a protest outside BBC Scotland's headquarters. They fail to account for the horrendous weather forecasted, and about thirty people stand behind a banner in the howling wind and rain. Meanwhile on the pitch, Kilmarnock have possession but luckily 'they're not going anywhere really'. The game ends 1-1. Steven Gerrard's interview with Rangers TV is Cathro levels of bad. 2019/20 18th July 2019: Rangers and Progrès Niederkorn are reacquainted in the Europa League once again. 13th Nov 2019: It emerges that the Banter Years might've been based on HMRC messing up a tax bill. Rangers supporters are...slightly hacked off by this. 15th Nov 2019: After a couple of days of pious indignation from the Rangers support, HMRC's response firmly shuts down this suggestion. 8th Dec 2019: Rangers and Celtic meet in the League Cup Final. It is surely now a chance for Rangers to finally show that they're back and win silverware. They simply batter Celtic for the first hour without managing to score. Celtic somehow score on the counter with an offside goal. Rangers win a penalty and Celtic are reduced to ten men. Captain Tavernier soils himself and gives the ball to Alfredo 'has never scored against Celtic' Morelos, who promptly hits a weak penalty that man-of-the-match Fraser Forster saves well. Celtic go on to win their tenth consecutive trophy. Rangers are heartbroken, Ryan Jack is on the brink of tears at full time. 29th Dec 2019: In a turn up for the books, Rangers beat Celtic away from home for the first time since 2010. It's an excellent performance, and the Gers are now two points behind Celtic with a game in hand. However, its place in this thread is justified by the antics of Alfredo 'has never scored against Celtic' Morelos. Through on goal in the last minute of the game and with the chance to end his drought, the Colombian forward promptly dives to the floor and fools absolutely nobody. He receives and second yellow and, as he leaves the park, makes a cutting-his-throat gesture at the Celtic fans. 30th Dec 2019: To prove that they are as dignified in victory as they are in defeat, Rangers release a statement. It covers topics such as criticising Kevin Clancy's refereeing performance, calling for the introduction of VAR into Scottish football, and excusing Morelos' gesture under the grounds that it is simply 'South American'. 26th Jan 2020: Rangers' traditional January slump continues with a defeat at bottom club Hearts, giving Tynecastle boss Daniel Stendel his first league win. Rangers' precious game in hand has been squandered before they even had the chance to play it. A Hearts fan does Ryan Kent a belter and a camera is on hand to capture the moment. 29th Jan 2020: News breaks that a man has tampered with Alfredo Morelos' car. Many Rangers fans immediately take to the internet to moralise, not just against the (presumed) Celtic fan guilty for this action, but also against pundits with an "anti-Rangers agenda", such as Chris Sutton. At first, this seems like a very serious incident that has no place on this list, until... 1st Feb 2020: A Sunday Mail exclusive drops late on Saturday night, which claims that the car tamperer in question is in fact a private investigator that Morelos' pregnant wife had hired because of suspicions that he was cheating on her. One can almost hear the sound of thousands of Rangers keyboards simultaneously hitting the backspace button. Oh, and this comes after Rangers are held to a frustrating 0-0 draw at home by a bang average Aberdeen side. 12th Feb 2020: Rangers lose 2-1 to Kilmarnock, courtesy of a late Eamonn Brophy winner at Rugby Park. Killie have by now unquestionably taken the baton from Hibs as the club who seem to exist purely to annoy Rangers. Gerrard's side are now ten points behind Celtic, and the title race now appears to be over. 26th Feb 2020: The league might be over, but there's plenty of cause for optimism in Europe. Having beaten Braga both at home and away, Rangers are into the last 16 of the Europa League. The very next night, Celtic are knocked out of the same tournament by F.C. Copenhagen. Even a tough draw against Bayer Leverkusen the following day can't damp the spirits of the Rangers support. 29th Feb 2020: A Scottish Cup quarter final defeat against bottom club Hearts, however? Yeah, that might do it. Daniel Stendel earns just his fourth win as manager (the others coming against third tier Airdrieonians and Falkirk) with a 1-0 victory over the Ibrox side. Both Tavernier and McGregor are at fault for the goal. Gerrard is verging on inconsolable in his interview. 4th Mar 2020: Rangers suffer their second league defeat at home to Hamilton Accies in three years. As mentioned previously, before these defeats they had not lost at home to Accies in the league since 1926. David Moyo benefits from Connor Goldson's generosity to score the only goal as Accies leave Govan with three points. As Hearts' win at Hibs 24 hours earlier had lifted them off the bottom, Rangers' defeat to Accies means they have suffered back-to-back defeats against the bottom side in the SPFL Premiership in the space of just four days. This is made all the funnier by many of those inside Ibrox carrying out a minute's applause in the eighth minute to honour manager Steven Gerrard. By the full time whistle, many Rangers fans want Gerrard gone. YouTube vlogger 'Thogden' is on hand to capture the seethe.

Here's an eloquent, well thought out contribution to a Commons debate about some of the potential dangers of poorly managed referendums: "Referendums should be held when the electorate are in the best possible position to make a judgement. They should be held when people can view all the arguments for and against and when those arguments have been rigorously tested. In short, referendums should be held when people know exactly what they are getting. So legislation should be debated by Members of Parliament on the Floor of the House, and then put to the electorate for the voters to judge. We should not ask people to vote on a blank sheet of paper and tell them to trust us to fill in the details afterwards. For referendums to be fair and compatible with our parliamentary process, we need the electors to be as well informed as possible and to know exactly what they are voting for. Referendums need to be treated as an addition to the parliamentary process, not as a substitute for it. What is being said to them, however, is you vote, and we'll decide what sort of region you will have. As it stands, the Bill is an affront to those principles. It asks people to vote for proposals that are unspecified, untried and untested." Who was this thoughtful MP I hear you ask?

"The lines were wonderful, you kept your height, and it curled beautifully."

Today's result suggests this thread may never die...

Sky coverage this afternoon - 'Let's go over to Ibrox to hear how St Johnstone have turned things round. Charles Paterson...' 'Yes, Saints have been getting on top and fully deserved to go ahead etc etc' 'And it's a former CELTIC STRIKER Denny Johnstone...' FFS. Everything that is wrong about Scottish football coverage. Their Old Firm mindset means that their first thought and most important element is that a former Celtic player, one that never actually played a game for them, had scored against Rangers. Not a St Johnstone player. An ex-Celtic player. It's fucking soul destroying. Oh, another goal and back to the obvious ***. It's 'extraordinary' apparently...7th placed team has gone 3-1 up against 3rd placed team. This must never have happened in the history of football, ever, anywhere. (He didn't even mean Cummins actually scoring a goal) What a shower of utter c***s our media is.

15th December: We're now just 7 days away from the biggest game Scottish football has ever seen. It'll be nice to see a team actually willing to play Clyde, given the shitbags that have been bottling it over the last couple of weeks. Still, what more would you expect from scum like Cowdenbeath? Anyway, today we go box office. Gargantuan at the back and an absolute monster in the air, Marvin Andrews should have been one of the most-feared defenders in Scottish football. And yet, he was impossible to be frightened of. I recall one particular incident when, right in front of the Ducket, Marv absolutely bodied goalshy forward Andy Russell in a 50/50 (credit to Russell for being brave enough to go anywhere near it). Though play continued further up the park, Marv simply hung around the half way line, waiting for Russell to reassemble his internal organs and return to his feet, shake his hand and share a hearty laugh about the whole situation. A man of much faith, we join former PM Gordon Brown in overlooking his alleged hatred of homosexuality to recognise this man's contribution to the game.

Do you think the Currywurst and Gluhwein board has a similar discussion about Kroos giving away a Lee Mair top? Probably not, because I doubt anyone could give one away...

Bier Halle Glasgow getting festive with pigs in blankets pizza Amazing !

Would be madness to let O'Hara go. Has been one of our top performers over the past year or so and I feel there's more to come. Get him signed up McCann FS.

1st bit of silverware. Pwoud, very pwoud of the lads.

Closer go home for him and no idea how much they got for Moult but could probably give him a decent signing fee. Baffles me how we always leave ourselves in this position, surely it can be difficult to get contract talks done way before it gets to this stage. There's another 3 or 4 first team players free to leave at the end of the season as well.

Trevor Bayliss has turned England into a good one day team. One day per test.

Scottish teams in the 90s and even the early 2000s were competitive but there has been a drop in standard. You only have to analyse the Scottish teams performances in Europe the last 5 years they are awful (I include Celtic in this) 2017 / 2018 - rangers lose to a team from luxenburg Aberdeen lose to a team from Bosnia stjonstone lose to a team from Lithuania Celtic win 1 game in champions league against a terrible anderlecht side. 2016/2017 - hibs lose to team from Denmark hearts lose to a team from malta Aberdeen lose to team from Slovenia Celtic win 0 games in champions league - 2015 / 2016 - Inverness lose to a team from Romania Aberdeen lose to a team from khazakstan stjonstone lose to a team from Armenia Celtic don’t qualify lose to team from Sweden. Portuguese league is miles better but Scottish fans seem to think we still dine at the top table of European football whereas in reality we are now behind leagues like Poland Slovakia slovenia Sweden Switzerland and Portugal etc.

cool tache/goatee combo.

Finishing up at work earlier, went to leave a customer's house and found this cheeky chap having a kip on my jacket. He wasn't for moving. Typical cat - see new, unfamiliar object, sit on object.

Why would the fact they appeared to have learning difficulties make you doubt what they said? I'm sure you'll find the money was retracted from the dispenser and you'll be in pocket. Sorry Welshy but I've always liked you as a poster, but that's pretty savage.

Bob Dylan - I Pity The Poor Immigrant

The b*****d thing about O’Hara is we’ve had to look at him during his ‘acne years’. Just as it clears up he fucks off. What a cunto. (copyright Big Don)

Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song

Robert Plant - Season’s Song

They can't be. Krasny Yar defeated a Parisian team in one game and ran them close in the return fixture.

You’ve Cardied it. Need to refer this to the VAR. I’m no last.

Great piece on Dobs. Glad to see Speirs has realised he is back here, a year late.

I'll just take this opportunity to remind everyone, Portugal are currently ranked 7th in the UEFA rankings. 20 places above us. It's anything but a shite league.

You see that's the difference from normal decent human beings and most rangers fans. When Dunfermline got relegated by Alloa we could have moaned about having to play youngsters and the likes of John Potter but we deserved to be punished for years of cheating. Alloa fully deserved to beat us and it was karma, yet our fans applauded them winning it.

My interview with James Penrice, which was conducted earlier this week. The article was also in today's The Sun newspaper. https://jordanburtfootball.com/2017/12/16/penrice-hopes-livi-loan-helps-his-premiership-push-with-partick/

Get him up front.

It’s a shame that something is so lacking in his life that he feels the only affirmative action he can take is making up stories on an internet forum and red dotting people!

Well your experience of going to games there is certainly better than mine but i really couldnt see Gauld not getting a regular start for Partick if he played for them and they are truly comparable. Also would be surprised if Portugese sides were pumped out of Europe regularly by some of the diddy sides that knock out Scottish teams.

Another 23 reddies last night Both pathetic and fucking hilarious

You have stolen my black cat...

The Animals - Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Them - Baby Please Don't Go

Did well with Led Zeppelin Tbf.

I can understand if someone can only afford to go away for two weeks a year and chooses to go somewhere where they know they will like. They may try somewhere else and like it even more but, of course, they could go somewhere and not like it and that's them screwed for another 12 months.

The whole referendum, the build-up and the aftermath from the start was a clusterfuck and an omnishambles. Absolutely zero clarity from the Leave side regarding how an exit from the EU was going to happen and no ideas how to go about it, and the Remain campaign was weak as f**k. The only thing the referendum achieved was giving the idiotic Little Englander types who think that leaving the EU will automatically make the UK a world superpower again a platform to spout their pish. The whole thing can get in the fucking sea.

Hemmings and stevie mallan in January please santa

One of the finest parts of the administration period was the rod they made for their own back. There was probably a section of Scottish football supporters who were not that bothered about rangers dying/surviving/parachuted into the SPL or whatever. Then they started with the ‘you’ll all pure go to the wall without us! Sink us or we’ll sink you!’ Rhetoric and cemented their own fate as every single c**t in Scottish football now hated them.

A league of comparable standard? The Portuguese national team and the performance of several Portuguese teams in Europe would suggest otherwise entirely. Not sure how good the team Gauld is playing for is but can 100% say that the top division in Portugal is miles ahead of what we have in Scotland! There cannot be a argument against that in any sensible form.

Next time Morton come to town...