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The next penalty at Hampden for Falkirk will be in the league next year.

Lazy c***s.

A year or so ago. I got the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh (at about 4.30pm) to see Scotland U21's at Tynecastle. The train was busy so i sat on the floor by the door across from a middled aged buisnessman who sitting on the fold down door chair. I felt a bit jakey-ish for pulling a can of Stella from my ubiquitous blue newsagents carrier bag and cracking it open. 10 seconds later he delved into his briefcase type bag and pulled out his own can of lager. I reached over and we clinked cans and shared a knowing nod.

As much as I dislike London, I think that we should adopt their harsh but fair underground rule where if you're slow and don't stand on the right (like the signs clearly tell you to) then you get dragged away and killed.

Might live outside but that cats not really what I’d class as feral very used to human contact by look of it. Cool wee guy. My sisters cat has just turned 1. She made him a wee cake and put a hat on him, no my thing but you kehn what lassies are like. Cake and an unimpressed Milo eating it before crashing out afterwards.

BBC 'Scotland' is supposed to cover Scottish football. They aren't meant to cover 'Scottish football based on the number of fans that go and watch a team'. It's a reason the tv tax exists. Their content should quite simply be driven by the league tables, plural, and the up and coming fixtures. They are uniquely positioned to give great coverage to eg a crucial League One fixture but choose not to. They quite simply fail miserably to do their job, cause more damage to the game than good and are just not fit for their purpose.

Not my pussy, but a pussy nonetheless. Another feral cat (like Haggis), this handsome chap has found residency in the hotel I'm in at the moment. Him & his two mates have a nice little cat house outside the kitchens and control the vermin & are rewarded with shelter & food. Cracking cat & a rather handsome chap imo. Please meet Ahmed, he won't leave me alone after I let him sit on my lap.

What I don't understand is why so many of you still listen to the midweek programme if it is as bad as you all say it is. I choose not to listen to the midweek shows as it is utter garbage. I really don't want to listen to the likes of Boyd, Commons, Rae etc. wittering on about the same crap they have talked about the last time they were on. The Sunday afternoon programme with Geoff Webster is usually very good, the recent Souness interview excepted.

Anyone else really looking forward to games against other diddy teams again?

Aye and pissed oot yer skull already on prosecco. Here's the right orientation for your Aussie triumph:

Sometimes train related cuntery can backfire - you could almost say it can be cunterproductive. Waiting in a queue to get through at the Central Station barriers this morning - I was next up when someone behind my right shoulder who I'm guessing had been trying to be part of two queues at once leaned right round me and stuck in his ticket. I think in his mind I was meant to stand aside and let him through. Back in the real world I walked through and let the gate shut on him, his ticket swallowed.

Yes but they're stupid c***s.

In a similar way to the fact that the political output of the balanced BBC is largely lead by the lines taken by highly partisan newspapers, the subjects covered by Sportsound are pretty much led by the lines taken by tabloids that have a massive bias towards OF coverage for commercial reasons. For Sportsound to cover "the rest" with any sense of proportion would require them to become a sports news-gathering organisation which doesn't seem to be a focus for BBC Scotland. Instead, they produce a cheap programme that effectively discusses what's in the Record that day and is an easy way to fill a schedule.

Falkirk fans famously make great lovers. They go down easily and always come second.

Well guys the P&B Xmas cup (official sponsorship name up for sale) is Here. The draw is below, it was conducted professionally and under the watchful eye of an independent adjudicator. No drunk rod stewart's anywhere near it. The cup Will run over 4 weeks with the winner announced on new years day (all going to plan) As has been the case there are some 3 way ties in the 1st round. Scotfree v kincardine v WRK Eednud v wilky1878 v madwullie JamieT v willieA v peasy23 Leeds saint v tynieness v The DA The captain v swarley v MSU SlipperyP v johnnydun Gman_1985 v cardinal richelieu Dee_62 v LiviLion Alang1993 v Frankie S Deej v Jacksgranda AFJ v BWV Dyl v gkneil Helpma v Blackislekillie Supermik v Ross Cowden0 v NJ2 Welshbairn v BigBo10 I'll post the link to the cup quiz later today. ETA: if iv missed anyone feel free to let me know, pretty sure I havnt though! [emoji16]

The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

Got a taste for the stuff at the start of the year. Folk can suggest stuff but it's entirely down to you what you like. I've probably tried well over 20 gins now. I tend to order a new one when I'm out so I know if it's worth buying a bottle. They're too expensive to take punt on IMO. Gordons is where I started, and still enjoys but I've a few other bottle in the house now and have an Edinburgh Gin coming at Xmas (probably more as well as I've just said to folk to buy me Gin). Give the flavoured ones a go. Some of them are incredible. I couldn't drink them all night though. FWIW, I think Tanqueray and Hendricks are bogging but others love them. As Bert Racooon said, Aldi's own is excellent. Well worth the £15. My brother said Lidl's own was nice and was just the same as Gordons. I was for throwing the bottle at his head when I bought it. Gad. The mixer is crucial as well. When I had a good mixer my Mrs would make me a drink and I knew exactly what the Gin was. With the cheap mixer they all tasted the same. Have you given bitter lemon a go? Gin and bitter is more refreshing than a cold cider on a summer's day. Lovely. Goes down a bit too easy though. Apologies folks but I'm sure bigdel6cans will be happy this thread is no longer being incorrectly used to point out the infuriating things our partners do...

As we enter December, we can finally begin the build up to what is without doubt League Two's biggest fixture. Many criticise the SPFL, but they must be credited for getting this one absolutely spot on. What better way to celebrate the festive season than with a demonstration of great friendship between the league's two sleeping giants. At this point I'd like you to allow me to assure the excellent Clyde support that come the 23rd, they can expect a simply unbelievable display of affection. To celebrate and raise awareness of the occasion, Berwick and Clyde fans will collaborate to deliver an incredible advent calendar, marking some of the finest men to have ever have donned the fine colors of black and gold or white and red. Today we get under way with a man who has proudly worn both jersies, a true great. December 1st:

I've also given up on it. It's absolute dross. From experience, writing and complaining is completely pointless. You can only complain about aspects of a single programme rather than the overall content and quality of the entire show over weeks, months and years. The complaint is then passed on to BBC Scotland - so essentially the part of the BBC who are happily churning out this dreadful stuff - who send a standard response saying everything is wonderful and everyone loves it and the problem is obviously you. Their complaints procedure is an absolute joke. f**k BBC Scotland. A shower of c***s.

Kate Bush - I’m Still Waiting

Secret Santa cancelled in the workplace due to 'lack of interest'. Pleasing.

The Drifters - Up On The Roof

Fraser was terrible. Hester has had some good games and was good when introduced via Forfar.

Free parking at Raigmore has been a disaster, often impossible to find a free bay and c***s using it as a fucking park and ride.

On a recent train journey down from Aberdeen, I found a few bottles of beer were an ideal prop to ensure two seats to myself all the way down to Edinburgh…any time we stopped at a station I made a point of looking like I was aggressively on the scoop and nobody came near. This strategy’s especially essential at Leuchars for St Andrews if you don’t want to end up listening to Lucinda and Phyllida yowling their pish in your ear all the way down to the capital. Have to agree about bevvying on short journeys though – there’s a guy on my train home most nights we call Can Man, who sparks a tin of Tennent’s the moment he sits down and gets off at Croftfoot which is like 10-12 minutes away. I kind of like him because he clearly makes the Burnsiders getting off at the stop after him uncomfortable.

One day closer to the January window lads.

I have found a solution to the crapness of midweek Sportsound - I only listen on a weekend. At least Richard Gordon is there to keep things sane.

Thing has a jag on Saturday morning. Gonna have to shoehorn the c**t into the box.

My lawyer told me it has been removed from all social media.

The incident you're talking about was a completely bizarre display of cheating. Gerry Britton was protesting about a decision (possibly an offside, maybe a foul against him, something like that anyway) and threw his arm up in the air at the referee's decision. He didn't know Kevin Muscat was anywhere near him, and Muscat went down as if he'd been shot when Britton's flailing arm caught his shoulder. I'm not saying feigning injury is ever appropriate, but the fact that it came in an incident where Britton didn't foul him, didn't deliberately engage with him in any way and basically didn't even know the horrible c**t was there, brought a whole new level to being a cheating b*****d. I've also seen a video of him breaking someone's leg in an A-League match towards the end of his career in an absolutely brutal, reckless tackle. A fucking disgusting player and person.

I've lost 5 stone this year and I have so much energy I'm up at 5.30 most mornings now. Still like a few cans on a Friday/Saturday night but that's it, I'd rather have a coffee. Been on the vape this week, so ciggies are getting fucked right off next. I'm feeling mighty fine right now

I admit the Glamping idea would probably turn into a murder mystery, but you're going to have to review that upper age limit eventually. Do it now, you'll get used to it.

Velvet Underground - White Light/White Heat

Grandmaster Flash - White Lines

I honestly think Stephen Robinson might be my favourite ever Motherwell manager. Seems like ages since we've had someone that was a) competent and b) didn't alienate 50% of our fanbase in some way or another.

Last month the notorious paedophile ‘Sidney Cook’ was blasted into space to spend the rest of his life aboard a one man prison vessel - posing no more threat to children on earth. But it was revealed that an 8 year old boy was also placed on board by mistake, and is now trapped alone in space with the monster. A spokesman said “this is the one thing we didn’t want to happen.”

I really hope this isn’t true. I’d rather have Hester than Fraser

Dixie Cups - Chapel Of Love

Billy Idol - Cradle Of Love

Met with Alan Finlay before Tuesday’s game, the drum will mor than likely back at the next home match against Livingston.

Squeeze - Cool For Cats

So long as it wasn’t on the tip of his tongue.

Punch him in the puss, Kerr.

Folk who go on about their cars. Not the headlight fella above, mind. But the folk who drone on about their motor as if it's the most interesting topic of conversation going. "I've got a G plate Zadoo Chancerina. It's a 1.53789. I've put a sport kit on it, lowered the frame, added Taurus shocks, Westlife tyres and 49 inch chrome Panther wheels. Before that I had a..." I. Did. Not. Ask. I. Do. Not. Care.

That's definitely something to be pissed off about. He should change it to permanently IMO. Falkirk til he dies.