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Hit her with the young patter. Ask her if she likes the PlayStation or if she's heard the new rapper music.

Imagine talking with folk in a pub and the topic turns to Pie and Bovril. "Aye, I'm magee." As if anyone would still be sat at the table.

Leave her to find a man who isn't a complete fucking fanny scared of his own shadow.

God I sounded like mumsnet!

Putting out hints could make it look like you're fucking her around after saying no, I'd say go straight in and be honest that you said no without thinking and you'd actually like to take her up the farter out for dinner.

It's the inconsistency in blanking out the swear words that annoys me.

Sorry. Maybe we should ask Div to make a pure dead serious sub forum. BTW it wasn't a pisstake it was my serious advice. 1 she made first move and you bottled it 2 chance to rectify it again today and you bottled it 3 you still don't have the nuts or intelligence to say something along lines of " you know what you caught me off guard the other day, came as a bit of a surprise but I would love to go for a drink if you are still up for it" So my serious non piss take advice is she could do better.

Can we leave steakngravy in this division when we get promoted?

Genuinely creepy that dozens of posters are giving a middle aged man tips on how to snare a 14 year old girl.

She Israeli sorry.

Not every Labour MP voted in support of Callaghan. Neither did the Libs. Also Labour had just scuppered devolution in Scotland thanks to 40% rule. It has been Labour in recent times that has refused to work with the SNP. Miliband made that clear enough.

I'm not one for hyperbole, but I've never seen anything as amazing and exciting as the current SUPERLEAGUE table... only 2 games to play (for most teams) and it really couldn't get any more thrilling. It's turned into a bit of a 2 horse race between AFJ and Alang1993... I dearly hope it comes down to the wire and AFJ is forced to ask a complete stranger to read out the quiz to him on their phone, then get him to log into P+B on his behalf and post his score. Also a bit of a gap opening in the Premiership front-runners, although Ross. is by no means a stick-on for the top league. And places in the SWL are still being keenly contested for. Lovely stuff.

Carry on Concentration Camping

Che is absolutely shredding my door climbing up to sit on his favourite perch. Loves to swipe my head for good luck when I walk past.

Diego was no where to be seen when I got home earlier, until I went to dry some washing;

That's why I shouldn't have to listen to him. He can't even speak about Barry Ferguson convincingly, never mind anything else.

Sid with his never changing expression of annoyance/bewilderment.

Put all his shoes in the bin next time.

This post makes me chuckle thinking about it. It was before we were told the OP is 14 so I assumed "...she wasn't in..." meant she wasn't at work. I now have a vision of the lad turning up at her door with an old mitre asking if she wants a game of kerby. Bless um

WRK is defiantly doing a Steve Cram. Hanging around with us diddies until the last bend, then the afterburners are set to GO!!

At the current rate of killings, TheProgressiveLiberal will likely be machine gunned to oblivion by a God-fearing white American any day now. Praise the Lord!

Hartley 2016/17 - 33 games - 28 points - PPG: 0.85 (expected total points: 32) - expected position = 12th McCann 2017/18 - 13 games - 8 points - PPG: 0.6 (expected total points: 23) / McCann total - 18 games - 15 points - PPG: 0.83 (expected total points: 32) Found this interesting..

Wind down the windows and stick the radiator on full blast.

Wish some c**t would wash you to death.

We dem boyz.

On a train - surely a carriage clock?

Oh no it isn't.

I bet its like the Playboy Mansion compared to your bedsit.

#roaringtwat

Hopefully not tbh

Was he not playing that day?

Haven't listened because Sportsound is rubbish, but Paul Goodwin is a bit of a charlatan. The SFSA is basically an organisation he set up himself after being punted by Supporters Direct Scotland, and it has no real legitimacy. They constantly claim to have X number of members, when in fact all that is required to be a "member" is to be on their mailing list. The fact he is continually dragged out by the media as some sort of voice for the supporters is baffling. If I remember correctly, I filled out the survey he was on to talk about, and it was packed with leading questions where it appeared as though the narrative was set in advance. It's certainly notable that they haven't published any of the methodology related to the study, as far as I can see. Broadfoot is aloof and smug, and has never come across as being particularly likeable, so that was never going to be a great "debate". However, it should be noted that Broadfoot is likely to offer genuine insight into the running of football clubs and organising bodies in Scotland, so his comments were likely grounded in reality.

Neil Young - He Was The King

Still, could be worse, at least he's not as bad as that zicoromaines.

My goodness, I didn’t expect such an inexplicably sweary outburst when I clicked on here first thing this morning, a smashing start to my Wednesday hump day. Keep up the embarrassing work, I’m a big fan.

Must have been the week when all the major players were boycotting the competition. Consider yourself the Allan Wells of this thread.

So if you were a black professional footballer you should be fine with racial abuse? Obviously you've been black your whole life, had all that time to come to terms with it and carve out a career?

Jeremy Corbyn is the Prime Minister.

Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra

I also believe that this 'good football' thing is a bit of a myth, perpetuated by McCann in the media. Absolutely, we've had a good few performances that have been very, very good without getting what we deserve, but equally we've had some rancid performances that were up there with last season. Raith Rovers, Buckie Thistle, first Derby, Ross County at home, Hibs at home, Rangers away, Celtic at home, Motherwell and Hamilton, both at home, were all either extremely average or piss poor performances. And that's not including games where we 'played well' but still managed to take 3 from Hamilton and get beat by a Partick Thistle side that hadn't won in their previous 15 attempts. 4 managers have been sacked this season due to poor performance, we've played against 3 of those sides with the now punted manager in charge - They've gained 7 points from us in those 3 games. I'm not normally a complete whinger, but I'm honestly not seeing it the way a good few are. I feel we are doomed if we get beat by Kilmarnock and McCann stays on. I desperately hope he shuts my puss, but I've seen nothing thus far other than he's a good Dee. ETA: I know, normally I'm the polar opposite sometimes defending the indefensible with previous manager's but that's because they've given me something to buy into.

I preferred him as mozzamozza, he seems to post a lot more on this new account.

I recall Boyd on the radio (the season before he went back to Ibrox) and he was quite mild-mannered. Since he returned to Kilmarnock and been allowed to do media work again, he's obviously observed Sutton getting a few decent gigs and tried to copy his style. Not sure he's brave enough to tackle too much when it comes to upsetting the weegie duo's support, so he's decided to target the bigger east coast clubs in Hearts and Aberdeen for his initial vitriol. To claim it's utterly ludicrous that the captain and most consistent player for the club that have been runners-up for three seasons, second in everything last season, and have managed to play a few European games more than the norm, is worthy of a squad place in the national team, is a strange one. Essentially he's either trying too hard to be controversial, or genuinely feels the domestic league in Scotland, where he earns a living, is utter garbage - thus is it even worthwhile having him on the radio to give an opinion about it.

SOMETHING INSIDE SO STRONG

Let's find out. @Cerberus Why did you ask for your account to be banned then start posting on one registered several years before?

Imagine how fat Boyd will get when he does stop playing.

Somebody's edited BoJo's Wiki page.

Sounds fairly inefficient, If only the Germans could have come up with a quicker way to perform mass extermination that one man with one pistol.

Stalin's chief executioner, Vasily Blokhin, killed 7,000 people in a month by shooting them in the head. Used a German pistol because Russian made pistols weren't reliable enough. So bare that in mind. If you are going to murder everyone post revolution you better get a good capitalist pistol first.

Aww. f**k off and take your happy, contented relationship to another thread. The rest of us have some serious girning to do.