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He's one of my gnomes He's one of my gnomes Craig Sibbald .. He's one of my gnomes !!

Why are the Evening Telegraph spouting pish over the building of a statue for Lorraine Kelly? Firstly, i highly doubt there's enough free space within the confinements of Dundee to fit the colossal beasts blubber filled frame in. We already have the ancient whale skeleton within the McManus Gallery. We don't need a statue of one for fucksake'. What the f**k has it actually done for the City of Dundee except turn up as one of the 80% woman and children that attend United finals. Or maybe she'll get it for sitting on her arse drinking cups of tea in the morning whilst interviewing some c**t that nobody gives a flying f**k about. You'd be aswell erecting a statue of Alfie from Lochee or Ba Sack Jack. However, if such a ludicrous decision was made; how about this fine statue to remember the salted tears that fell down the Orca's blubbery jotter as the United got ragdolled in a final by the pathetic Perth Saints. That would be nice to be fair. Thank you.

Let's be honest here, you've spent the last few days trying and failing to troll this thread on subjects such as Lafferty, testimonial attendances and David Gray. It's been Kickback level stuff, you're better than this m9. Having got away with only taking the green boaby in cup games, it's pretty obvious you're rattled at the thought of having to face us in the league this year.

Mind when David Gray won us the cup and ruined your childhood.

Hi Boko Haram pal any news on Efe's whereabouts thanks pal #GGTTH #NLGAWA

I'll be there as well tonight any excuse to see BSLM and Rory Loy and I'm there. Can't wait to see them in the new Ravishing Red away kit [emoji7]. As for the season at the moment I'm actually quietly optimistic about our chances. Houstons biggest downfall last year was he kept trying to play the same way as we done in 15/16 and without Vaulks and Alston it was just never going to work. Let's just hope he settles on a system and formation that suits the players we've got we've got a few good options but one big thing I hope is that if Hippolyte is fit he starts. Yes he's frustrating and inconsistent but with Sibbald gone we're going to need all the creativity we need from everywhere else and he can be unplayable when he really turns it on.

1-1 now josh meekings for Thistle

TBH i see nothing to be worried about with Harris he had a cracking game and done well, the fact inidividuals are on the lads back already and seem to be hoping he is a failure or at least want him to f**k up just so they can find a player to hound or say i told you so is bloody sad.

I don't think you'll find many Hibs fans disagreeing that we weren't good enough to come up the first 2 years. We still managed to comfortably dispose of your mob twice and win the Holy Grail. In the meantime you were taking it sideways from Celtic, Aberdeen and the Fermers. I think we both know that by the time the first derby rolls around, our first choice strike force won't consist of either Murray or Graham. If I were you I'd be more concerned with the fact that Hearts will probably line up with at most, 1 or 2 players who have tasted victory in an Edinburgh derby and with a manager already widely recognised as damaged goods and out of his depth. Shitting it.

Typical diving Bairn, TBH.

It really was fantastic, Paddy and Stuart were terrific with everyone and I would recommend any club doing something like this. I don't have an official figure yet but we're looking at around £5K raised from this event alone, with our comedy night on top of that it's been a truly excellent effort, Sons fans.

Allan Johnston told me it was Hippolyte.

The progress we've made under Smith is astounding. That's three games without conceding from a direct free kick.

We were pretty laboured in the first half and most of the time we did get forward it was down the right and amounted to nothing (our two weakest performers of the night were Kidd and Shepherd IMO). We looked a lot sharper second half with more of play in the final third going through Harris. He played on both sides at various times in the second half and looked comfortable in either. Pleased to see him get two assists for his efforts. McKee was also a positive as he was always available and trying to dictate play. From goal kicks we appeared to be letting the CBs split and him take the ball deep. Wouldn't be averse to us playing out from the back like that. Austin took his goal well and it was a good run from O'Hara for a tap-in. All in, can't complain.

Graham went to punch him but missed the target.

Keep pumping that cash in, m8 - ITK sneak preview:

#FAKESON

CR, he just doesn't give a f**k about us diddies in the Beazer. Check the state of that...

All I'm going to say is that when I was allowed full control we went from 3-0 down to salvaging a 3-3 draw. If it goes tits up with Naysmith you know where I am. And Moonster, don't be so hard on yourself, I wont stand for such negative vibes emitting from my dressing room. 20 laps for that ya wee bawbag.

P4TS highlights are up.

BREAKING RUMOUR: Fans news understands through its sources that Efe Ambrose is being held hostage by a Nigerian gang and they are demanding 1 billion Nigerian dollars for the former celtic defender. more as we get it #NLGAWA

I'm not even going to try and make sense of them I think they're pretty much meaningless. If it provides me with a point scoring opportunity with Hertz fans on an Internet forum then believe me I'll take it.

To be fair I genuinely don't see Hearts as our rivals. I mean yeah they are technically our city rivals but we're so far ahead of them on the park that's it's bloody boring. The 3-1 game last season for example, I've never seen a team as out of there depth as Hearts were that night. I actually tried to catch the refs eye from the stands and give him a look to say "listen fella, just blow the whistle now, think of these guys careers" but he never listened. I'd say Celtic were our rivals now. It's good to beat Hearts but it's simply professional. Celtic are the team we have to aim for if we're going to win the league.

If we were gubbins, what does that make them?

He always delivers

I just don't get some of the points being made on here. Ok, Edinburgh City replacing East Stirling doesn't change the world in the grand scheme of things. But it changes things for Edinburgh City and East Stirling. It reflects the ups and downs of football throughthe league structures. Every club should have that opportunity surely? If folk are so scathing of the change of circumstances for the 2 clubs mentioned, what is it that's different when we consider promotion and relegation in the current structure. Why bother relegating Troon and promoting Girvan? What's the point really? Makes no difference in the grand scheme of things. f**k it - let Girvan stay where they are and enjoy being the big fish in their pond battering their head off the ceiling they've reached. Folk can argue about the model but anyone who thinks clubs shouldn't have the right in principle to advance based on their ability to meet the standards and conditions appropriate to the next level is living in a parallel universe.

Hendo to deliver handing out two telts in quick succession

Some Junior fans on here have this bizarre outlook whereby The Juniors don't contribute the supposed "too many teams/ not enough fans" problem when actually they do, and in fact Junior football is far more densely populated with teams (if not supporters, sadly) than the senior grade in it's traditional hotbed areas. A few of those elevating themselves a level or two won't throw the balance of Scottish football out of kilter - and it would only ever be a select few, as most Junior sides would never get near the current 4th tier anyway. Also, what is actually wrong with a team 1) being provincial or 2) finding their natural level in the 3rd tier or whatever? Following a team that wins hee-haw is the bread and butter of most football fans and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

That's the last time I try my hand at sarcasm

We also have Craigens zingers with both feet in our arsenal as well.

The only stereotype that's being reinforced on here is that Junior fitba is backward. We still have a rule on re-instating players, we rarely play under floodlights, we don't have a full season fixture list, all basic stuff in the modern game and I'm sure we could come up with more, including refusal to engage with our national league system like the other 54 UEFA nations do. It's not lazy, it's fact. Some clubs are trying to break that stereotype and drag themselves into the 21st Century, and good luck to them but they don't get any encouragement or support from their national association. Leaving aside the Pyramid for a moment, it's 2017 but you can't sign a player from certain clubs without "reinstating them", we still don't have fixture lists, a great many clubs still don't have floodlights, as a result you can't play midweek football for most of the season, we finish the season in a mad flurry of fixtures at less than a weeks notice, some clubs don't want to travel longer than the length of their own shadow, our national cup costs many clubs money to compete in instead of making them money, prize money is virtually non-existent. I could go on. Yes, it's still the 1950's in the Junior world.

This, 100%. I imagine there are boardrooms in this country and others who will let some prejudice creep in, but is adding a forced quota really the answer to that? Surely if you have a case where that's happening, and they're forced to interview one, they'll just refuse to give him the job anyway. In that case, what have we really achieved other than tokenism? Does someone in a minority (outside of John Barnes) really want to get an interview under these circumstances? Would they feel a sense that they were good enough, or would it always eat away at them that they were literally only handed the chance because of their skin colour? It's a similar idea to policies I've seen at places of work I've had in the past with women - lots of extra help for them to really push on. Sexist against women to suggest they need that extra help, and sexist against guys who will surely just be fine cos they're lads, right guys? Hopefully one day we get to the point where the best person gets hired, regardless of what colour they are, what sex they are or who they want to pump.

Even if he was any good, Laptop Boy is still the manager. Just let that sink in.

At least give the boy a chance. He's only 22 and could turn out to be a good player.

Everyone prefers ER to Tynie. That's just stating facts.

You've only won three of the last fifteen matches between the two clubs m8, we've won seven.

Hibs 27 places higher on the UEFA rankings than the wee team as well. It's official.

Brilliant news, especially after some of the disgusting treatment he has been subjected to by a certain set of supporters over the past few seasons. Shay will not be bullied out of Scottish football.

Yes every club has a level, but that changes constantly, which is kinda why we have we have promotion and relegation throughout the game. Indeed the vast majority of clubs in the country deal with these issues regularly, having an inclusive pyramid nearly introduces that to a few teaming clubs who can't go up or down. And yes our game is better for having Edinburgh city being promoted rather than have east Stirlingshire struggling along. League 2 is better for having teams worry about relegation instead of being able to accept being horseshit for a season because they can just wipe the slate clean for the next one.

So here's the Ride Her Haggard results for round 2... Singles... Scotland alang1993 - 9 BigBo10 - 4 Blackislekillie - 6 Dee_62 - 2 Deej - 7 die hard doonhamer - 4 Dyl - 2 Frankie S - 8 G_Man1985 - 9 gkneil - 5 Irvine_buddie - 4 Jagfox - 7 Livi Lion - 5 madwullie - 1 (ONE) Peasy23 - 2 pleslie99 - 10 Supermik - 5 The Captain - 7 WILLIEA - 6 Rest of the World Audaces Fortuna Juvat - 9 Bully Wee Villa - 5 Cowden0 - 8 (and a compliment for the Cardinal) Dee Man - 4 Eednud - 3 Helpma - 6 Jacksgranda - 3 (and an insult for the Cardinal) Leeds Saint - 7 MSU - 8 Ross - 3 Scotfree - 8 Slippery P - 5 Swarley - 5 The_Kincardine - 9 Welsh Bairn - 6 WhiteRoseKillie - 7 Wilkinson1998 - 6 I've scored out the lowest scores to leave the top 16 scores for each team. Therefore, the final unadjusted totals are: Scotland 98 - RoTW 99 Up to 9 points are available in each round (with the last round finishing 4.5 each)... therefore, I'll adjust the scores above to be out of 9... which makes it Scotland: 5.5215 vs RotW: 5.56875 Therefore, the current scores are: Scotland: 10.0215 vs RotW: 10.06875 If anyone's got any complaints, I refer you to this GIF.

£8 we need a big Dee support to boost our coffers to challenge TheArabs this year ..Is that a good enough reason? Plenty parkin around about ground decent Pubs are Hudsons , The Stables , Dalhousie Bar and Park Bar down beside old railway station.. Our Bush is trimmed lookin well .I likes a tidy bush

Sorted

The late great, David Bowie - Rebel Rebel

*SuperHans does not like this* Delighted for him, looked like he was decent in the Clyde game too, long may it continue.

Sensational Alex Harvey Band - The Last Of The Teenage Idols

She is the epitomy of short termism. Completely void of direction. No ideas Willing to flip flop when it suits Hides when its difficult Spouts political pish and given free reign to do so by media lackeys good at riding the opinion poll wave....and ignoring it when it suits....again aided by media lackeys. She is a political surfer who is and will do untold damage to this country. Problem is........corbyn is exactly the same. Well done tory and labour voters. Well done nawbags of 2014.

You have a pot on the utensils rack. Also, fork spoon knife. Who the f**k goes fork spoon knife?