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- Utter refusal to see any other point of view, simultaneously having a go at me because I wont see the other point of view(usually when she's wrong but wont admit it). - Mrs Jeek; "I'll run you a bath" if i'm coming home from 5's or something, then i come home to "I just nipped in before you", borderline acceptable until i get in and it's all moisturiser and glitter and I go into work the next day shimmering like a fcuking Disney princess! And my continual nightmate; - Jeek getting back from work before her; "what do you fancy for tea?" Mrs Jeek; "anything, i'm not that fussy" Jeek; what about *insert myriad of culinary delights*? Mrs Jeek; "hmmm naah" Jeek; "kaaay, what about *insert another myriad*" Mrs Jeek; "hmmm nah, not really feeling that" Jeek; "what do you want then" Mrs Jeek; "Anything I told you, I'm not fussy" Jeek(with added tone); "Right well I want this." Mrs Jeek; "mmm, nah not tonight" Jeek; **Triggered** goes in huff / goes and sits on P&B for half an hour before getting some shite out the freezer Mrs Jeek: "how come you're grumpy tonight" at least once a week

My other half has a few annoying habits, but the one that unquestionably boils my piss the most is when we're watching TV. For example, we both enjoy The Blacklist, yet she'll suddenly start talking about utterly irrelevant shite during it which I can filter out and still follow the programme, then she picks up the Sky remote anyway to replay the bit she missed because she was talking utter pish. This often branches out into her asking stupid questions because she hasn't been paying attention. "So is he the bad guy then?" (usually by the time we're about 7 episodes into season 2 of something. Actually seething just typing this out tbh.

Oh god, this. Does my nut in. I have a lamp on the bedside table at my side of the bed. I like to use the conveniently placed switch on the cord of the lamp to turn it on and off. She turns it off at the socket behind the cabinet. My wife also spends 5 minutes at night before coming to bed checking in cupboards and under beds for, and I quote, "paedos, snakes and rats". The toilet lid has to be down presumably to prevent all 3 named hazards from coming up the lavvy. I just pulled a clump of her hair out the bath plug hole again this morning. She will also come and sit down beside me and then ask me to get her phone, iPad, drink, check the kids etc... 10 years married this year. Where's my medal?

HIYA JAGFOX PAL IS THE DEAL ALMOST COMPLETE JAGFOX PAL COME ON THE HIBS NLGAWA

Shouting from another room and then getting annoyed when I can't hear her at all or understand what she's on about. Made worse if she then says "well come down then". Erm, if you want to say something, you come to me.

A picture paints a thousand words. I'll be using her blood to paint the picture after fashioning a weapon with these fuckers and lodging it in her jugular.

I did something similar just recently for Thistle. Did a batch of 200 Doolan100 Scarves. If you like I can e-mail some details of the supplier. Got them all sold and raised £900 profit. ETA: which went to our players fund and not in my pocket unlike some people I could mention... Scarves can have a different design on each side. Thank you.

In other news, I've been having a think. This year, I'd like to do something a little different to make some money for the club. Until this morning, I was thinking I'd illustrate (properly) and print some posters of famous Dee's... potentially from our Hall of Fame. Maybe one every season, then do it as a long-term thing. But then, this morning, I had a brainwave. Or a stroke. I'm not sure which as of yet. My idea is this: let's communally design some scarfs, get them printed and sell them online to the various busses and supporter clubs. I'm thinking along the lines of 'No DABS at Dens', 'Willo Flood, Goblin Princess' or 'Jim Duffy shagged your gran'. These would cost approx £250 for 50 (about a fiver each) and sold at a tenner each, with the profits going to the club. I'd rather have a bit of fun with it this year, rather than simply sponsoring a player. Plus, I'd like to see the Derry lined with 'Simon Murray, Ginger Loser', etc. Thoughts?

If any of the Dees want to sponsor a shirt for Scobbie I'd be happy to set it up. Just PM me and we'll sort out the finances

The message from the manager on the club website. How to talk a lot and say absolutely nothing.

You don't bathe together to save time or to help scrub each other's feet, it's because you're after your hole.

That was your first mistake.

Probably the front door, Slippery.

Finished 94th (out of just under 2,900). 131/240 (118/210 after I dropped my weakest genre - Sport). Was around 200th the last couple of years, so delighted to break into the top 100, given the standard and depth of the field. Very challenging quiz. Was helped by my weaker subjects (science, lifestyle) being a bit easier than normal and my best subject (culture) being tough, but happening to suit me. Ent (which I'd normally expect to do well on) was brutal, but was tough for everyone.

Davidson and every one of her blue-cagouled goons have one thing in common, they've never had to worry about a gas bill in their comfortable lives. I had one canvass here last week, an impeccably-mannered young chap from just down the road in Helensburgh (different constituency, mind) who was straight out of central casting. I'd like to think that the 15 minutes he spent warily listening to my polite rant in my front garden was the most instructive time of his GE campaign. They really are in a parallel universe these folk.

The Eindhovendee house -

He's far more effective in central midfield or at centre-back (despite the fact he's only about 5"8). Sparky was excellent for us for all but the last three months or so of his DFC career. He took more Man of the Match awards than anyone else, and genuinely endeared himself to fans. He's a fighter (unfortunately literally at times...) who plays with the passion of a fan, and genuinely just loves football. You'll love his attitude on the park, and his a great guy off it too. He's always up for a chat, and likes to get a bit of banter going with the fans during the game. I remember one of our fans constantly berating him to go short for a goal-kick in monsoon conditions, and him turning to the fan and saying: "Why don't you go f*cking short then?" That shut the chap up. He loves winding up opposition fans too, particularly at Ibrox where he just about caused a riot by saying something to them I remember some Rovers fans being seething during the 0-0 game in January 2016 too, when he clearly said something to them. After the Carswell incident (which was totally out of order, as he well knows) he lost his place in the team. Then when he got back in he was lacking fitness, sharpness and seemed a bit too desperate to make an impression. That was exemplified against Ayr United where he took out one of our own players in the buildup to their winner - this time it was an accident. He doesn't look like he should be good (if that makes sense) but has a lot more ability in his left-foot than you would think. His crossing and set pieces are normally very decent, and he's more than capable on the ball. I'd imagine he'd be exactly the sort of guy you need in League 1, and I'd imagine he'd do a decent job wherever you play him.

From a supporter of a Club whose every new signing, even those from previously undiscovered tribes of the Upper Amazon, who claim to have been Sellik supporters since birth, loved Jimmy Johnstone, greatest fans in the World, everybody loves us, watched the Lisbon Lions on a black & white telly in a mud hut in Mozambique, etc, etc.......

had one of the most incredible conversations ever with her earlier on. she thought you couldn't turn a cooker on if a jewish person was in the room incase they were offended.i thought it was some sort of shite joke at first but she was being 100% serious. what an absolute fucking moron

Say no more, m8.

@Deefiant

And there it is...

Given how bad their current situation is plenty of United fans have taken to asking how many trophies have Dundee fans seen their team win. I think their logic is that if you've not seen the winning of a trophy it doesn't count, or at the very least doesn't mean as much in a club's history. That would explain why so many United fans didn't turn up for the Doon Derby. They never saw it so it doesn't count. It's no wonder so many United fans are struggling to accept United are a Championship side. So, with that in mind for the upcoming derby how about a banner with a picture of Pa Broon with the with the words "Pa Broon kens your doon".

A solid 2/10 to finish a very strong week.

Them : Here Comes The Night

Small Faces - Here Come The Nice

Controversy as Comey is called a 'bigly liar' by unknown lawyer Ronald Stump.

Happy to be proven wrong in my opposition to the rule changes, the new ones are clearly much fairer.

Hopefully next time she tried to get in to a game at East End she's denied entry. She probably tries to get in for a concession by claiming to be a young boy, or by stealing a pensioner's mobility scooter and firing in through the disabled gate.

A moderately pleasing 7/10 today. Song, Nepal and Stock Market wrong. Ah well, off to the bottle shop to stock up before tonight - I have a feeling I'll need some anaesthetic. Sent from my couch using blood, sweat and tears.

Otis Redding -(Sittin' on) the Dock off the Bay

I reckon I'm going to be posting in this thread about every 20 minutes. Her latest one is putting the dustpan and brush on top of the pedal bin in the kitchen meaning I either have to move it or watch it go flying off onto the floor. The latter is what I'm going to do everytime until she gets the message. This, along with putting her handbags on the bar stools or putting any of her shite on any flat surfaces - worktops, microwaves, shelves etc - has got me on YouTube looking up how easy it is to remove and relay patio slabs. <<<seething

I also just missed my stop for the first time ever because of posting on this bloody forum, and it's f***ing pishing it down. F*** you P&B.

John McCain:

Undertones - Here comes the Summer

( Ask and ye shall receive ) George Harrison - Here Comes The Sun http://youtu.be/GwmVfewqu7

Lou Reed - Waiting for my man

Gordon Lightfoot - Ordinary Man

Lynyrd Skynyrd : Simple Man

Biggie wasn't precious with her either. Thank you.

The Hollies - I'm Alive

might be wrong but I think that is the account that's constantly on the wind up and has gullible as f**k hibs fans biting every time eta- it is

Put simply, we need to give the youngsters a chance or it's pointless having a youth system. Gordon has played a few games and let no one down, not as big a gamble as some think.

Never heard of the c**t. Thank you.

Mine switches sockets off relentlessly. I get it if it's not going to be used for a while, but when it's the TV and the box takes about 5 minutes to load when it's been switched off, just fucking leave it on. The tellys been switched off (not on standby) so what's the fucking point. I remember once I got on the train down from her flat and popped the laptop on for a go at football manager, to be confronted with a low battery warning. This puzzled me as I'd plugged it in to charge overnight beforehand, and left me seething as I got about 10 minutes into the 2 hour journey before it gave up. She's also never fucking wrong but I've a feeling that's a female thing and not her specifically.

If you'd posted that picture initially I would still have had NFI what it is

,,,,Harkins swallowed him ?