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Jocky's sitting by the phone waiting for the call. He's dinghying bank holiday Monday at the Fairmuir just in case. That's a mental night at the clubbie, tae.

Pie and Bovril will miss you, but that sounds like a fair swap.

Well I've finally got over my huff at losing to a sub-strength Kincardine in the cup to put together the new league tables. And how proud of them I was - until I realised that in an effort to jazz them up, I can no longer copy and paste them into the thread. So instead I have to take a screenshot of them and add them that way. That moan should really belong in the First World Problems thread. Anyway... not much to say about the leagues since it's only day 1, but in the Premiership, 5 posters are tied on 1st place, and it's a surprise to see P+B's most decorated quiz teams in the relegation zone. AFJ leads the way in the Stealer's Wheel league... And down in the Beazer, Welshbairn has opened up an early lead, although there are 4 teams still to post so anything can happen.

Jocky IV

Has that silly old c**t Alex Smith, come out and said what a disgrace this sacking is yet?

When Leipzig games are wearin late, An fans begin tae tak the gate; As ye hae thochts o gaein tae the pub, An need a late, time-wastin sub; When ye are three-nil up at hame, an jist need tae see oot the game: Bring on a player wi a wee bit spark - Get Ollie Burke ontae the park! Ollie Burke, wham ne'er a winger surpasses, For dartin runs, an bonnie passes!

We rule this forum. IMO.

I'll actually feel a bit sorry for him once it's all done and dusted. It's absolutely the right decision to offload him, but he's done a fantastic job on and off the pitch with us until this season which has been a complete disaster for him. A few of the things that have led to it being a disaster have been outwith his control, and I've no doubts if we stayed up he'd have made a much better fist of it next season. His position is untenable unfortunately, and he'll now be remembered more for this season than the good spells we had under him. Wish him all the best if he goes, but it's the correct decision.

I have the basis of a special edition update to the Leigh Griffiths Blog in my head already, should the situation take a turn for the Jocky. I'm good to go here, Twinkle. I'm just waiting on word from Davie Nelms, or whatever the American c**t's called, before getting tore in.

Why should the US be allowed to have nuclear weapons and North Korea not? Why should the US be so determined to ensure North Korea abide by a non-proliferation treaty that they don't even accept whilst ignoring Israels nuclear weapons programme? How many countries has North Korea invaded, attacked or undermined in relation to the number of countries the US has attacked, invaded or undermined?

Hearing we've approached GGH with a player/manager role. If that is true, he would certainly be the coolest manager in world football. I laughed at first, but maybe it isn't such a silly idea considering the other candidates being suggested. Please come home, Gary. We love and miss you. Thank you.

b*****ds.

All very good points. Now that I've had a bit of time to calm down after our latest capitulation, here are my thoughts. Hartley has gone from being one of the most promising young managers in the country to channeling the type of stubborn, unimaginative dinosaur we've been plagued with for decades. His formations in the second half of this season are as bad as I've seen as a Dundee fan — the players are indeed poor but they could certainly be organised in a way to grind out results. The Rangers and Motherwell games (and possibly the St Johnstone game that followed those) are proof that there is something lurking beneath the surface of this squad, but he seems utterly incapable of drawing it out. I think his biggest crime, IMO, has been his failure to recruit a single effective winger since taking over from Bomber. This creates pressure all over the park; absolutely no width and it means the midfield and strikers never have an out ball to help them create some space up top. When he came in, Hartley went out of his way to drop guys like Nicky Riley (who was of course limited, but at least had excellent hair) and never replaced them. The resulting shambles was part of the reason we've currently got so many people out of position. Take Mark O'Hara for example. Started life as a center half. Came to Dundee to play defensive midfield/central midfield. Has ended up an auxiliary striker and a winger at different points of the season, to absolutely no prevail. It's just madness. If you ask me, the formation hasn't reflected the available squad (natural positions or skills) since the St Mirren game IMO. Cammy Kerr is another example here; player of the season (admittedly out of a terrible bunch), switched to a LM/LWB (sorry, he wasn't playing as a LB on Saturday, for those that have said that, Holt was still covering that so that Cammy could stay further forward). Utterly bizarre behaviour. We're now in a very similar situation to that of Bombers final months. A squad full of terrible, unmotivated central midfielders that are simply not skilled or flexible enough to fill in other positions. Couple that with a system that clearly doesn't suit them and we are staring relegation right in the face. He's lost the plot and needs sacked right now. Thank you.

I couldn't give a f**k if the manager sleeps in a skip and blows tramps for fun if the team plays well and occasionally wins.

It's certainly better than - relegated Hearts - nearly relegated Kilmarnock then left - took Rovers into a relegation fight - trying to stop Cowdenbeath being relegated

I have been critical of the stadium and the atmosphere in the past... In reality I think we have a God damn cheek. When you consider some of the shit hole stadiums we've visited like Ayr, Morton, Dumbarton, QOS, Alloa, Cowdenbeath etc. We really consider ourselves fortunate to have such a great stadium. Sometimes the grass is never greener on the other side. Just my opinion

You really are a dislikable little wimp.

Does he interview well and what primary school did he go to? Has he beaten Hibs?

Also b*****ds! [emoji6]

We can't airbrush history. He did what no other manager had done in 8 previous attempts, by getting us promoted (as much as I'd like to, I can't count Barry Smith taking us up by default when Rangers died - at the end of the day we still finished second). He then led us to a top-6 finish in that first season, even if we did eventually limp over the line after Hamilton's late-season capitulation. None of that can be ignored and we should absolutely be grateful for it. But last year we went right downhill. With the squad we had, we should have been challenging for the top 6 again. But instead we only really confirmed safety from the play-offs in our first post-split game. Which also happened to relegate the DABs - something that papered over the cracks. In some ways, that has echoes of the Kernaghan era where the Scottish Cup run hid an atrocious league campaign until we got our arses handed to us by Gretna at Hampden. Losing Hemmings and Stewart this season was a blow, and you can't blame the manager for that. But what you can blame him for is failing to bring in replacements that were even half as good. Instead he signed a bunch of has-beens and general shite. It's also the fact that he doesn't seem to ever have a plan B. On the occasions we played well and took the lead against teams, you could see their manager changing it. Sometimes it didn't work, but he at least was giving it a go. Not Hartley. If plan A doesn't work, he's lost. And increasingly, teams became aware of our plan A which snookered us from the off. Thanks for the memories, but I'm afraid times up.

O' Sullivan has become the Snooker equivalent of an attention-seeking full time Facebook mummy posting constant "inspirational" memes. Either get on with the game, like an adult, or f**k off and retire you utterly tedious c**t.

oh. the players are shite, the board is shite, the manager is shite and the photographers are fucking shite. We just don't like to advertise the fact! When I first started watching City over 20 years ago we played at the magnificent stadium that was Fernieside- had to turn up early to prepare the ground by putting a rope around the pitch and taking the goalposts (bloody heavy) out of a locker on top of the glorified shipping container that served as dressing rooms and setting them up. City legend Martin M then went round with a bucket and shovel picking "dogs eggs" off the heavily canine fertilised pitch. After that losing last minute equalisers to Cowden and Mo in D2 is like winning the Champions League...

Benefits porn programmes, ooh look at the poor people. Also the narrators insistence on calling everything "benefits", her benefits baby, their benefits tv, the benefits dug. "This family receive £25k a year in benefits" no mention that they're in a private rent in London and 90% of the money goes on rent. These programmes help us not care when the welfare bill is savagely hacked back yet again. State propaganda.

@G_Man1985 when did you start supporting St Mirren? Anyhow, here is the quiz for today, Tuesday the 18th of April 2017. There are questions about some things and some other questions about some other things. I got 4/10 as I answered 4 questions correctly and 6 answers incorrectly. http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/mind-games/quiz

If Jocky gets the job we need a Craig Wighton or Cammy Kerr blog.

Just have to hope enough of the USA generals are sane enough not to have some death cult thing going on and sort it out, with or without the crazy fat old man.

I have never paid any of my employees below the living wage, I can also confirm the tiny amount in overall terms that I will be obliged to contribute towards pension costs will not drive me into the poor house; in fact it will be far more than offset by the 1% reduction in Corporation Tax that comes into effect this financial year and the further 2% planned by 2020. In the last couple of years further assistance has been forthcoming in the shape of employers' NI relief which means the first £2,000 of employers NI doesn't need to be paid. There are many small employers who have no problems paying decent wages and many other who are greedy b*****ds, I've come across a few of these.

AC/DC - For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)

Big fat guys with baldy heeds?

If this comes to pass I hope he leaves the 'Wunderkid' over the Tay.

Beach Boys - I Get Around

According to The Sun's "This Week" section, five years ago St Mirren and Dunfermline were involved "in a Love Street epic". Impressive, considering it was knocked down three years earlier.

I'd argue we underachieved last season too. We had 3 players in the team of the season and finished 8th and had 2 cup disasters v Rangers and Dunfermline. He done well to sign those players but should have done better with the quality he had at his disposal.

There's always a downside to threesomes.

Let u16s and over65s in for free. That means you have 50 years to get ticket money from fans and are playing the community spirit bit with the young and elderly. We'd need to offer something so the 4 stands are as full as the 3 we have now.

I was saying Boo-urke.

If City do go down after just one season critics of the pyramid system will claim that it proves there's too big a gulf between League Two and the Lowland League. In reality that would only be the case if City's points total could be counted on the fingers of one hand, and the Shire had walked away with the LL.

Bennett years later & still utterly seething at bloggers & their donations GIRFUY you let your club die and these guys are making money from it Is everyone stocked up on jelly & ice cream for the Craigy Whyte court case

I've just had a message saying there's a meeting with Hartley today and it's looking like he'll be gone.

Butteries? Teuchters gonna teucht.

Reckon this has been a big factor this season, City expected to be in this position so there's not that cloud of negativity you're getting with Clyde (in particular), Cowden and Berwick who all expected to be challenging for the playoff at the other end of the league. It's meant everyone at City can just focus on getting the results required to stay in the league.

I think we can all now agree that Murdoch has finally made up for the Hacken game.

My two favourites: Water Lilies and the Japanese bridge - Monet Starry Night - Van Gogh

This very much so. Let's have a programme about the rich elite and monarchy and how much their tax avoidance, damages the country. These feckers are the biggest benefit scroungers.

They are rowies, not fucking 'butteries'.

Can anyone spot Sebu? http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/39616310 Thank You.

To be fair, if they came out with "aye we aren't good enough for this league and most of the guys are now on holiday mode and looking for new clubs" How would you react to that? Thank them for their honesty?