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Last night I came home absolutely hammered. I've got out of bed and just realised I've pissed on my rug.

This one believes she can swim

Rangers v Morton match preview for tomorrow: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/38871566 We're fourth. It was 1988. 13 + 1 + 2 = 16. Rangers have won 12, not 13.

10/10. Fucking yaaas! Knew 7

It's a few weeks away but Queens will be letting 15 and under in for free, see QOS website. For both sets of supporters.

I had such a lax upbringing, from both parents, which I think has rubbed off onto me and I will be exactly the same. I am far too chilled a person to be disciplining etc. My mum is also my best friend, speak to her everyday and can tell her anything. I really hope Catherine has the same relationship with me when she is older. Jmo, Saints don't do baby strips, this will have to do in the meantime...

Don't hold any bitterness towards Gary Locke. He tried his best but it just turned out to be not good enough. He conducted himself with dignity whilst in the job, even when we were on a horrific run and as long as he doesn't come out with a press article slating the club to distract from his own deficiencies then I'll wish him well in the future.

Aye. I saw it on here originally and then double checked and posted. Planning to do that a bit more often.

Snap. In 2014 after one particularly horrendous shift which included me being threatened with numerous stabbings I decided I was chucking my shitey pub job. I was quite happy and took an equally shitty office job, but the hours were better and the pay was much better. A few months into it an abscess I had issues with for many a year flared up and after taking a pretty brutal kick to the tail bone during a game of fives the abscess ballooned. It was like a tennis ball sticking out of my back. I ended up getting surgery within a week which resulted in months out of work. At first my new employers were alright with it. My wages went down as a result and daft arse here ended up in debt to try and offset the balance. As soon as I had the operation the depression set in (I've been depressed since I was around 15) and I just went into my shell. I don't deal well with inactivity, and I hate being out of work. My girlfriend and I split up due to me not telling her about the hole I got myself into with the debt, and sure enough I was back at my old shitey pub job under the illusion that when one member of staff left (he was actively looking) I would get his managers gig. I didn't. Still, I wasn't working and was unable to go back to office work due to my back, but I needed the job. The operation didn't work and I was given a follow up appointment 6 months down the line. Working again helped me get back to my usual self, and my girlfriend and I sorted things out. Everything was good and out of the blue she was pregnant, which considering the circumstances should have been almost impossible. It was a good thing. Fast forward to March last year and I was looking at my life. I was 29, quickly approaching 30 working a shite job for shite pay and seemingly in the rut I was in for the previous 6 years. "At least you have a wage coming in", I kept telling myself. I had had enough and made some plans. A friend of mine lost his Dad and the funeral was going to be full of people I had lost touch with during my dodgy phase the previous year. I was at my lowest point and genuinely couldn't see how I could be a positive influence on a child. He would be better off having met me, as far as I was concerned. At least I couldn't disappoint him like I have everyone else. The day of the funeral came and I had everything I needed. I was on a few prescriptions for my back and anti-depressants. I got nice and pissed, enjoyed the company of people I had missed and said my goodbyes. I went to my mums house as I knew she wouldn't be there (her and her partner have different houses. Living the dream) so I loaded up and went to sleep. Over 50 pills I counted as I washed them down 10 at a time. Then I woke up. My alarm was set for work. I looked around and then it really hit home. I fucking fucked it. Again. I even fucked this up. I went to the shop to get fags then headed home before getting ready for work then I started to feel funny. Obviously what I had taken was still working away in the background and I was in a considerable amount of pain. I worked up the courage and called a few people. Told my mate I wouldn't be at work to see if he could sort cover and let him know what happened. I let my mum know. I was in hospital for a few days on a drip then was let out. My girlfriend came to hospital on the second day when she found out what happened. We went home and I still felt awful, terrible for her, and very embarrassed. Soon I started to feel a bit better, but this was really only because my son was due imminently. When he was born it helped mask some feelings, but they were all still there. They still are. The only difference is I won't act on them now (as far as I can tell, anyway) because I can see he does benefit from having me. My girlfriend and I split up last year. It was my doing. It wasn't working and I didn't want to raise him in an atmosphere which could become toxic. When I was ready to go back to work I made the calls and was put on the next rota. Then I was taken off it. I still don't have any explanation but I had other things to worry about. The abscess was back again. I had moved into my mums house because she is rarely there, but being 30 years old living in the bedroom you spent your teenage years in is depressing in itself. I spent my 30th birthday alone. I had my pre-op that day, so that helped. I was then booked in for surgery a few days later. The op was successful and there are no further problems other than a massive scar on my back and nerve endings damaged, so my lower back is numb. Except under the skin. I can feel the itch but can't get to it. I'm still not working. Still feel absolutely awful and have been referred by my GP for a few things. I need out of this house and my own place, but financially that just simply isn't possible. My ex girlfriend and I are on good terms now and I can't honestly rule anything in or out in that department. I see my son every day and am always welcome to have him overnight. It doesn't change the fact that everything is still shite. I only speak to a few people now. Maybe 4 or 5 friends in total other than the odd Twitter interaction. I sacked Facebook because someone at my old job couldn't keep their mouth shut and within a few days of my "incident" every customer in the fucking pub knew about it. I was getting texts from punters asking what happened. I mean, fuck sake. Come on. I quite like closing off my social circle although I know it won't last. I have a stag do later this year with the wedding following it, at which I'll be the best man. I can't exactly not go. So I know I will see these people, but I'm very happy not seeing them right now. I'm not entirely sure what this post is going to achieve, but there you go. It's out there. Maybe it's just a Clyde thing.

Still a third of the season to go, and a couple of good or bad results could change the table dramatically. Look at Montrose, who were toiling a few weeks ago. Everyone apart from Forfar, Arbroath and Elgin could finish bottom this season, but even then being in the play-off doesn't automatically mean you will be relegated.

It's overly simplistic to think yesterday's performance was due to a large away crowd. We had a decent crowd through at the recent Stirling league game got cuffed 3-0. The difference with yesterday was we had a game plan, made use of our substitutions and our players seem much more up for it when it comes to the cup ties. There was always little pressure on us to get a result and we could sit back and defend. Against the likes of Edinburgh in the league the onus is on us to go out and attack to win the game.

Just got my bet in in time. Think we're going to struggle to stop France now though.

Sorry to read that mate, know that it isn't easy. Glad you're still on speaking terms with your ex, and can see your lad whenever you like, that isn't always possible when you split up. If you ever want a chat, or to meet for a beer or whatever mate, give me a shout. I went to the Doctor last month, really needed to. Got some tablets and was signed off work for a couple of weeks. Feeling much better about life in general now.

Rab Noakes - Together Forever

I think we can all agree that it needs to be two up front to get the best out of any of our strikers. The back 4 and keeper is settled and looks very solid now that Gasparotto is out the picture. Sibbald and Hippo pick themselves in the middle and on the left respectively. The rest of the midfield is an open discussion - for me just now it'd definitely be Taiwo, and probably Craigen since he's in possession of the jersey and he is our best set piece taker. His form has improved in the last couple of games in fairness to him. Miller and Baird would play for me if fit, if Baird is done for a few weeks I'd give Austin a go and keep Big Match Bob as the impact sub. For me next week, if everyone is fit: Rogers Muirhead Grant Watson Leahy Craigen Taiwo Sibbald Hippolyte Miller Baird Subs: Thomson, McCracken, Aird, Kerr, McKee, Austin, McHugh Plenty options off the bench to change the game in an attacking sense. If Kerr or McKee can't make it then give a spot on the bench to Gallagher.

I imagine it will be something that was booked way before the Rovers gig appeared and he honoured it. I certainly don't think they called him up less than 24 hours before the game because he'd suddenly become Rovers manager!

My wife banned me from getting my daughter a Dons top, but apparently a Scotland rugby top is perfectly acceptable. This is what happens when you marry someone from the borders I guess.

Was convinced all my bets lost yesterday until I logged in this morning to find this wee beauty.

I know what you mean – this isn't perfect time to go for a second referendum. And I'd imagine Nicola Sturgeon knows this. But if not now, when? Leaving the EU against our will was the only trigger mentioned in the SNP's manifesto and if we don't act on that, I can't think of another opportunity in the next decade that will convince enough people that independence is the best way of building a fairer Scotland. In other words, we need to think of this as a free shot. If we lose it, there isn't another chance for a generation. But if we don't go for it, same thing. What we do need is for things to be lined up. We need an answer to the currency question (Scottish pound, pegged to sterling), the border (hopefully Ireland will help us with this) and EU membership (need some big voices from Europe guaranteeing us entry). The selling point for independence needs to be 'what sort of a country do we want to be?'. Not one built solely on EU membership, but that comes as part of being a modern, outward-looking European state. The 'No' campaign's only carrots will be further devolution – watch for farming and fishing to be used as bargaining tools.

Brilliant! [emoji1] She's a wee cracker! [emoji106] Aye. Even more so since I parted with £2k to get a comb-boiler put in so there's no longer any "just have a shower mum wants the hot water for a bath" scenarios. I don't mind when the bairn wants a bath instead of a shower though. Gives me plenty opportunities to give my wee lass a bubble-bath beard and hair. Pretty much mastered the Ronnie Browne look.

What a pair of minters ..... tragic.

These. Also , looking forward to a live game on the TV when it was rare. Oversaturated now.

It wasn't a ban. He just had his posting rights revoked.

Remember when they spunked £70+ million beating part timers to get back to where they belong

Suspended for being unable to follow the rules . Suspended for being unable to follow the rules. 'Lost' his account. Aye diddies though.

I love your touching faith that I have any idea what is going on player-wise at the club, Mr B. When I was the treasurer I had to know what contracts were being agreed for new signings, but these days I mostly learn about new players when Gary sends me the manager's message for the programme late on Thursday night. What sort of fancy filter do you have on your camera which can turn my pal's white hair Trump-coloured? He will not be pleased.

Some of the whinging on here is way over the top. We weren't that bad. We got three bad injuries that meant we were going to struggle in the back row during the game and we lost our captain and vice captain. We were missing our first choice props, and we were given an absolute kicking. The ref didn't do us many favours either. We made some mistakes, but we were always in it and always looked like we could score. It's not like we've been beaten by Italy here, we've lost narrowly to France in Paris. These players are getting better and I fancy us to beat Wales and Italy and finish third, which would be an excellent result in this 6n.

Good goal.

Drivers who obviously don't know how average speed cameras work and slow down as they approach them. Drivers who cannot keep a reasonably constant speed whilst sitting in the outside lane on a dual carriageway. Including cars that probably have cruise control. Shit driving in general. On the journey to and from the game in Falkirk yesterday I encountered all of the above.

Was worried about the Torino game with them being 5-0 up but to be fair to Pescara they have pulled it back to 5-2. Will stick another coupon on and bank the rest to blow on the Champions League midweek!

After only managing about 10 Clyde games in the last 6 years due to shite shifts and even shitererer back troubles I'll be rocking up for some incredible glory hunting on Tuesday night for the Scottish Cup replay. Right now I'm excited as the only games I have been to in the last 2 years have been Celtic ones. Step-son is a dirty tim, but forgive him, they're his local team after all. It'll be interesting to see if I catch the bug. I suppose as long as we don't get totally pumped I'll be happy enough.

We don't hang monkeys or shag sheep in Fife so I reckon he's got a result.

Jimmy Page & Robert Plant - Gallows Pole

Are you seriously suggesting Sportscene only got him on because he was appointed Raith manager ? I think BBC may have had their studio guests set in stone more than a couple of days before the game. It might have a little something to do with the fact he played for Celtic and managed Caley. Eta - I think your board have got this one right, given time he will have rovers a top 5 side in this league.

I fucking hate Nigel Slater and beating him to death with his own rolling pin is hugely appealing.

The thought of anything VHS just reminded me of "PG: If it's romantic, it might have some sexy scenes!" (1:17)

Fuck me, I don't.

They would have been far better off just proudly adopting the label.

I believe I can fly..

Mark Knopfler And Chet Atkins : Poor Boy Blues

Plagiarism of my research, in my humble and honest opinion.

I just hope they don't run on a "vote yes to stay in the EU ticket ", that would be a huge mistake. Rather a " look what happened when the entire country voted one way but England called the shots". That narrative with a promise to hold an EU referendum will secure a YES vote imo.

I hereby invoke the P&B rule which needs no quotation.

three things from my youth that were killed by cnuts

You'll get it in a couple weeks too, you inbred Fife tramp.

https://deepdynastyfootball.com/2017/02/11/amateur-scout-take-mitch-trubisky/ In case anybody is looking for some early scouting help, or just something (hopefully) entertaining to read^ ETA: i should be posting up a new one every day for the next month or so, so feel free to check back every so often to save me spamming the thread )

Thanks. Obviously I can't speak for all our supporters, but most of my rides all end in tears and a fall out anyway.

The moment when Kev Spacey stands up to his Mrs and turns all YOLO in American Beauty always raises a smile.