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  1. 70 points
    Please use this responsibly, and not for the purposes of mocking Dundee United Football Club or William Robert Flood.
  2. 62 points
  3. 56 points
    This is pretty sad really. As a few have said already, its rightly way beyond an opportunity for point scoring against one of the arse cheek which is something we all love to do. This here is their paranoia and delusion in full flow, steamrolling an abuse victim in the national press purely to ensure Traynor and the other egos involved, aswell as the mutant element of their fanbase do not have to apologise to that guy on behalf of their club. Once again the ugly sisters proving that each cares exclusively about oneupmanship with the other at the cost of everything else including morals and human decency. Cases like Barry Bennell recently are a great leap forward in emboldening abuse victims to come forward and report what must have been and may still be emdemic youth football... Congratulations Rangers then, for indulging in this utterly vile, self preservation at all costs including the victim, bullshit and setting a worthy cause back years in this country. No laughs to be had here. This is fucking sickening.
  4. 55 points
  5. 51 points
    The Sevconian response is all over the place. The vast majority of them are seething, but they're not sure whether they want the allocation back to the full stand, or whether they want to boycott Easter Road entirely, or whether they want the allocation to stay as-is so that we flatter their egos by begging them to sell more tickets at some unspecified future time. They all know they don't like this, but they don't seem so hot at knowing what to do about it. Also, the outrage seems a bit funny when they unanimously want to cut Celtic's allocation at Ibrox down to the regulation 900 seats or so. It hurts them that Hibernian has done to Rangers what they've been urging Rangers to do to Celtic. Also the whining about their 'meagre' allocation of 1500-2000 seats out of a 20,000 seater stadium is amusing to contrast with the 900 tickets that away fans get when visiting the 50,000 seater Ibrox. Hypocrisy much? For any grumbling Sevco fans looking in - you're angry because you're being treated the same as most other teams. Hibs have just sent a message that you're not special - you belong beside the Aberdeens and the Motherwells and the St Mirrens of this world. That's why the complaints are so hypocritical (you're complaining that you're being treated the same way your team treats away fans) and why you can't work out the correct course of action (because you can't come out and say 'we demand special treatment to make our egos feel better', you have to make up one or other story to justify the seethe, and nobody's agreed on what the made-up-excuse is, so everyone's response is different.)
  6. 50 points
    Hooligans chucking failed celebratory smoke bombs onto the pitch in a huff after leaving early, Steven Bell being a deceptive wee dick and telling the Alloa players he would give the ball back in the 90th minute then starting an attack instead, diving to win a penalty then proceeding the miss the penalty in hilarious fashion in front of their own fans before being led out in tears. Finishing with a sad, guilty slow mo of Lawrence Shankland sitting in the stand dejected at full time. BBC Alba - you’re alright.
  7. 49 points
    "What about us brain dead slobs?" "You get to join the orange lodge."
  8. 48 points
    Stevie G Sevco 7088 a year contract predicted developments in the next year: 1. Stevie G "does a Barton" and woefully underestimates the standard of Scottish football. Attempts to steal a march on Celtic by importing most of the Liverpool U-18 squad then hastily reverse ferrets after an early bodying at Hamilton Accies, bringing Kenny Miller out of cryogenic freezing. 2. unseemly fracas in an "exclusive" West End brasserie involving a platinum blond with glowing fake tan. 3. Early ejection from the Europa League. Vardar Skopje win 6-0 on aggregate and field fringe players in the second, home leg. 4. Sitting fourth in the table at the beginning of November, Stevie G issues a statement a propos of not very much about "honouring the culture and traditions of this great football club". Media slavers dutifully and early signs of the smouldering bigoted Krakatoas on Rangers Media erupting, are quelled, for the moment. 5. Jim Traynor puts an ill-advised Bill Sturth-morphing-into-Walter-then-Stevie Gee VR graphic on the Ibrox screens, launching just at the same time as a stuttering 1-1 home draw with St. Mirren. Only the proximity of Remembrance Sunday keeps the chorus of boos in check- just. 6. Stevie Gee attempts to re-build morale by organising a paintballing Christmas Party. The exercise turns into a costly disaster after Tavernier's left testicle is ruptured by a direct hit from Lee Wallace's spudgun, leading to weeks of pornhub-themed gifs on twitter and pie and bovril. 7. A soul-destroying 0-3 reverse to Celtic at Ibrox on New Year's Day, with Stevie Gee very publically having failed to address Rangers' defensive failings. Brendan Rogers reads the paper throughout the game. First molten lava appears from the bigoted Krakatoas online. Board promises to re-shape the squad for the fourteenth time in eighteen months, with a warchest capable of signing the reserve goalkeeper from Barnsley and some guy from Grays Athletic. 8. The statements from the Union bears, Vanguard Bears, Club 1872, the Orange Order, the Global Federation of Staunch Presbyterians, begin to pile up in the media like unsolicited Liberal Democrat leaflets. The Ibrox doorman, having plastered his Stevie G selfies all over his social media on the new gaffer's first day, has now deleted all pictures from the internet and can't meet the manager's eye. The Loving Cup continues to gather dust in the trophy cabinet. 9. Stevie Gee calls Jurgen Klopp for advice and is met by nothing more than hollow laughter from the hirsute German. 10. Rangers stumble to a humiliating 2-4 defeat at first division Greenock Morton at Cappielow, in the Scottish Cup fourth round. Stevie Gee's tactically laconic yet practically unworkable 3-4-1-2 formation baffles his youthful charges. Kenny Miller and Lee Wallace call some friends in the media who duly run articles they wrote nearly twenty years ago about Paul Le Guen, only substituting PLG's name for the former England captain's. 11. Stevie Gee's mates on Football Focus mutter about conspiracies and how he was never going to get a fair crack of the whip "up there". Stevie Gee's enemies leak stories to the media questioning the rookie boss' mental wellbeing. 12. Stevie Gee blown away like a reed in the wind after a) Rangers lose at home to bottom of the table and struggling Dundee for the second time in a season and b) funds are not available for a mid season break in Lanzarote, with a choice of only Troon or Ardrossan beach on the table. Stevie Gee concludes that Rangers are "not serious" and returns south, being paid for three and a half years from Sevco 7088's funds, to be a youth team coach at Liverpool again. In the background, Mike Ashley considers a bargain basement bid for the club as DK is finally forced to admit publically that he has no money left, and puts the club up for sale. Candidates from Alan Shearer to Davor Šuker are rumoured, without any basis in fact, to be keen on "taking the reins" at Ibrox. Jimmy Nicholl is recalled from his caravan in Burntisland to see out the season in the least humiliating fashion possible. Rinse... and repeat....
  9. 48 points
  10. 47 points
    I think what Scottish football needs is for Rangers to fucking die permanently. Thank you.
  11. 47 points
    Fully expect Accies to rock up in a Sondico own brand top and last season's Werder Bremen shorts like a guy that's been invited to Fives at the last minute.
  12. 46 points
    Last summer you were a child called Martin...
  13. 45 points
  14. 45 points
    You could genuinely make a case for the sheer idiocy of the average Rangers fan being one of the main causes for their current predicament. The club aren't living within their means because the fans simply won't accept that living within their means will result in them not winning a league title for a very, very long time. The only way they'll get close to Celtic is by spending money they don't have, and the fans are so obsessed with Celtic that any alternative isn't an option. Even if the board wanted to (and I'm not sure they do, because they seem like a bunch of clowns anyway), they wouldn't adopt a sensible transfer/wage structure because it would cause an uproar. Consequently, the board has to make "big name" signings to satisfy these idiots. Which then leads onto the fact that the board are making terrible use of the budget available, by appointing clueless managers and signing rubbish players. But the fans' demand for something that just isn't possible means that as soon as the season ticket money arrives, it'll be splurged on yet more dross, and this cycle of wasting money while still getting nowhere near a league title will continue. A completely unrealistic fanbase, and a wholly incompetent board, chaired by the biggest charlatan of them all. A glorious recipe for hilarious, embarrassing failure.
  15. 44 points
    Congrats sevco finally getting the 5-5
  16. 44 points
  17. 44 points
    Dear Scottish football fans, You are most sincerely welcome. Yours, Hibernian FC.
  18. 41 points
    What Scottish Football actually needs is a weak Celtic
  19. 41 points
    Yet another moment in the Banter Years where I am so, so proud of my club for, again, making The Rangers look like utter morons. It is utterly glorious. As soon as I heard the news I knew the heads gone official club statement was inbound. Keep up the good work Hibs.
  20. 40 points
    One was undone by tacks, the other by tax.
  21. 39 points
  22. 38 points
    Sevconians genuinely thought we were enthralled watching them and Celtic swap titles every season Since the Oldco entered admin the following teams won major trophies: Killie (first for 15 years) Hearts (a 5-1 scudding of their rivals) St Mirren (first for 26 years) Aberdeen (first for 19 years) St Johnstone (first ever) Inverness (first ever) Ross County (first ever) Hibs (scenes) We’re supposed to regret it though
  23. 38 points
    Steven Gerard just past me on the way to England
  24. 37 points
  25. 35 points
    I started a similar thread years ago, most memorable for Gaz's post below: http://www.pieandbovril.com/forum/index.php?/topic/161500-pb-confession-room/
  26. 35 points
    An extremely nervy ninety minutes. Any hope that Elgin would turn up in their flip flops and beachwear was quickly dispelled. The first half was a strange, cagey, nerve-laden affair. Montrose had chances but they were of the half variety. The one clear effort we had on goal was when a fifteen yard drive from Milne (?) was brilliantly saved by the Elgin goalkeeper, who deflected what seemed a certain goal out for a corner with the bottom part of his right bicep. Outstanding reaction stop. Alan "The Seagull" Fleming had a couple of smart blocks to make at the other end, too. Elgin were the kind of nuggety, hard-working, tough tackling side that is a nightmare for anyone chasing desperate points to face. They defended as though they were all facing imminent execution by firing squad at the full time whistle, if they had lost. Worse for us, they played us at our own game and won, in the first half. Defending in numbers and absorbing Montrose pressure like a white roll absorbs bacon grease, they also became more confident on the break as the half wore on. They nudged ahead of us in midfield and forced a few errors. Montrose sat far too deep, and their passing under pressure became ragged and uncharacteristically error-strewn. Worse was to come just before half time. Elgin won a soft-ish free kick on the edge of our box, just to the right of the dee facing the goals. Shane Sutherland, who has scored against us more times than i care to remember, curled a quite beautiful free kick around and over the Montrose wall, and beyond Fleming's stretching right palm, into the top right hand corner of the net; 1-0, and there wasn't even time for the game to kick off again. Had it been a less serious matter I'd have applauded the skill and execution. At the time, it felt like a knife in the guts. At this stage it looked as though the home team had every intention of evacuating their bowels in the championship bed. Half time was a bleak affair and more than one Dynamo regular voiced the opinion that they felt Montrose would blow it on the day. However, before the engraver could begin carving the name of the Fishy Jailers on the coveted League Two chamberpot, Montrose emerged in the second half looking like the team that has dominated the league in the last few weeks. A combination of an injury to Lewis Milne just before half time- looked like a sprained ankle- and the late Sutherland goal had a galvanising effect. The second half was largely all Montrose, playing towards the Dynamo. The Elgin keeper was in inspired form (if we are charitable and overlook his genuinely diabolical kicking- the worst I've seen this season from a senior keeper). He blocked and caught with stomach churning efficiency. But he was powerless just after the fifty minute mark. A surging Montrose attack down the Elgin right featuring Steeves, and the tireless Rennie, broke down in chaos in the City box. Twelve yards out, the ball fell to Jamie Redman who rifled the ball home past a wrong footed keeper and prostrate defenders. 1-1, and genuine bedlam around the park not seen since Garry Wood's piledriver three years ago, that preserved our league status. Somehow after that, everything calmed down. Montrose kept pressing but Elgin defended really, really well and restricted our room for maneouvre and shooting opportunities. Elgin had a few half efforts after that but nothing that seriously troubled the Seagull in the Montrose goal. After that it was all a bit of a blur. There was a roar of celebration as Edinburgh equalised late at Balmoor. Montrose worked extremely hard to press Elgin to the very end, keeping the ball in their half as much as possible; they had turned the table on the hard working visitors. Somehow Peterhead's late winner didn't appear to matter. The final whistle went, and the crowd of nearly 2,400 went berserk. Being on the park with old friends and thinking back to bleaker times; humpings at Ochilview; Ian Diack standing on the small Dynamo wall as Stenny went 3-0 up; shipping five goals at home to the likes of Dumbarton; leading Stranraer 4-2 with fifteen minutes to go, and losing 4-5; meaningless ends of seasons trying to finish in seventh instead of eighth, standing sullenly and mutely as Hamilton, Morton. Stirling, and the "Livingston" Franchise all celebrated their sides' title wins at Links Park; the bleak years of the late nighties and early 2000s when managers were obliged to compose squads full of players who hadn't been signed by anyone else. This is such a different Montrose now, and much credit must be given to the chairman, the re-shaped board and the work of the Links Park Community Trust behind the scenes. In the old days Montrose was little more than fifteen semi-pros, the badge and the league membership, living from month to month. Now we are a club embedded in the local community, back owning our ground, with a manager and a first team that everyone can be proud of. A day like this was impossible to imagine even three years ago. Now it's a reality. And, somehow I have a feeling there will be many more days like this to come in the seasons ahead. Next year we'll be in League One. I can't wait for the new season to begin already. It's such a wonderful feeling -for once- to have ended up at the top of the tree. This under-rated squad, much greater than the sum of its parts, has ensured instant legend status for itself. It was genuinely touching to see so many old Montrose players in the crowd urging their successors on to glory. I've never been prouder of my club than tonight. And, to be honest, more seasons than not, I've doubted that I'd see a day like this. But, here it is. #champions #wearethemo #goingup #seeyounextseason
  27. 34 points
  28. 34 points
    At my lowest the police lifted me from the wall of Troon harbour and I was kept in Ailsa Hospital in Ayr for a time, this was a number of years ago, Once slept on Aberdeen beach with vodka and pills, was missing for 36 hours when went to my GP and didn't work for months. When the black dog arrives it is the hardest thing in the world to control, and some days it still comes back even though there is much in my life that is right It is the hardest thing to do yourself and the easiest advice to give but talk to each other or anyone. Horrible news day
  29. 33 points
    The **** are the biggest laughing stock in world football. There isn’t another team even close to them. Genuinely hope this goes on for another 10+ years. I’m enjoying every fucking second of this.
  30. 33 points
  31. 32 points
    For the love of banter. 5-5 and Lennon running Mourinho style ear cupping to the away end.
  32. 32 points
  33. 32 points
    If the other half of the hideous hybrid was in good shape the media and particularly media like SKY would be telling us and earnestly believing that Scottish football is in splendid condition, no-one would even be asking the question. Their symbiotic relationship is not so much a distraction as a complete blind spot for the rest of Scottish football. Look at our Championship this season - the stories that could have been told & sold; St. Mirren winning the whole thing? Dundee United's stumbling, Inverness coming back from the dead. Livingston's season for f**k sake!: the race for League 1 and League 2 titles going to the last weekend of the season: the playoffs still to come that will not get any MSMTV coverage. All of these blanked because these teams don't attract 50,000 fans, ignored by our own public service broadcaster (other than a pretendy sub-version which ironically uses the 'too wee for BBC Scotland' football to boost their audience figures). Maybe if the fuckers gave these leagues the coverage they deserve they could help sell them to their fans and improve the numbers showing up. The English super-hype their own big clubs too, of course, but they also cover clubs averaging 1,500 - 4,000 fans and every game and every goal is covered and previewed and implications for league titles and playoff spots hyped and hyped again. Here it's like the rest don't exist. Even the rest of the premiership are paid lip service only in relationship to the ugly sisters. Cover them, by all means, they're our biggest clubs but the media are disgusting in their utter ignorance and disrespect of the Rest of Scottish football.
  34. 31 points
    This is genuinely strange and needs treading round carefully. The tale of what happened in the 80s to this kid is truly upsetting. It's part of a long narrative about how adults in positions of power over children, were able to exploit that power horribly with few checks on their behaviour. It's always alarming and distressing to read of such events, but the reality is that given the time and climate, Rangers are in truth scarcely to blame for what happened. The individual concerned is, as is the cultural climate which permitted it. There doesn't appear to be a suggestion that Rangers were aware of this, or attempted to silence anyone or cover anything. The fact that it happened at the club does however mean that the organisation faces a moral responsibility to make the right, apologetic, sympathetic and supportive noises. To hide behind the old club/new club thing though, is incredibly crass. Even leaving aside the double standards involved, which no longer seem important in this context, it's just staggering to pretend that it matters. If there had been no liquidation in 2012 and Rangers' company had still carried on, it would still be the case that nobody currently involved would have been involved then or implicated. The club however, would still be required to respond appropriately. Liquidation surely doesn't change that. That brings us to the statement. It's actually mind blowing. For Traynor (presumably) to see this as the right time to lash out about "nasty attacks" on a football club reveals something really dark. There will definitely be people associated with Rangers who wince at that. The whole bloody thing is horrible and it feels like a line has been crossed this time.
  35. 31 points
    Major investment coming for Rangers, a very rich Arab businessman with huge Masonic Links... Sheik Mahawn
  36. 30 points
  37. 30 points
    11th vs 2nd as it should have been. No idea why pub teams like Dundee Utd got involved in this .
  38. 30 points
  39. 29 points
    Just read about this and came here to see if it had been shared. I've heard worse from football clubs, but definitely not in Scotland and I can't think of anything worse in Britain, ever. The closest I can think of is some of the cowardice shown by Sheffield Wednesday when their stadium contributed significantly to 96 deaths. But Rangers' statement goes beyond that as it goes on the offensive with remarks about "cheap and nasty attacks". Rangers fans should be utterly ashamed of their club, and they should tell them so. In a long line of batshit crazy statements, this is the first that crosses from hilarious to obscene. They're hiding from a clear and obvious moral responsibility. The least important bit of this is that it ends the debate on whether Rangers are the same club or not. I've enjoyed teasing Rangers fans about it, but I've always felt that it's the same club - it's a team with the same name playing at the same stadium with the same colours, legally they have the same goodwill, and most importantly, it's the same fans. I think that matters more than a piece of paper in Companies House. But you don't get to claim the trophies of the past while dodging responsibility for the sins committed. The discussion is over. Rangers have said that they are not Rangers any more. But as I say, that's the least important part of this scandal. And before anyone starts with the "innocent until proven guitly" crap, there have been several separate allegations made against this guy at two different clubs. It would be a helluva coincidence for them all to have spontaneously made it up. How about we respect the victims and not regard them with suspicion just because it involves ra bears, eh? Edited to add - just remembered Crewe Alexandria. They were worse. But that's the territory Rangers are now in.
  40. 29 points
  41. 29 points
    Can't imagine there'd be too much crossover.
  42. 29 points
    Hibernian Football Club are the MVP of the banter years. While many clubs have had their moments, no other club has so consistently had heads rolling off all over Govan.
  43. 28 points
    Ah the standard Juniors shortsightedness. Let’s look 1 year away and not 5-10 that’s what saw you all miss the boat 6 years ago. Yes there are teams in the Lowland League who are inferior but that solely lies at the door of the SJFA who dismissed the pyramid at the start out of hand and vocally mocked it. So the SFA took who was willing to join to get the league started. Guess what now juniors want to join they’ll have to play through these teams or stay in a separate grade. The pyramid is happening and the Juniors have already started to drip across in the East the longer the West sits on its hands the more East dominated the Lowland League will become and instead of moaning about the quality of teams you’ll no doubt be moaning about the distance because they missed the next boat. Happy for the SJFA to remain separate and run their own grade but I’ll welcome any clubs that want to try and play as high as they can.
  44. 28 points
    I had to move out of my flat yesterday after there was a domestic violence incident on Saturday evening. All very unpleasant and having to stay temporarily with family until I can get a new place sorted. But in doing so I also lived by my own words. Yes, Pie and Bovril, I intervened in this attack. I, Ad Lib, STRONGLY ADVISED the assaulting party to cease and desist and to leave the flat immediately, and I placed myself between them to protect the other person from further harm. It worked.
  45. 28 points
    If Doolan went to manage in Luxembourg I'd probably follow his Progres.
  46. 28 points
  47. 28 points
    To be fair, Steven Gerrard has history of stopping Brendan Rodgers winning championships
  48. 28 points
    I trust one of the Hibs boeys on this very site will take it upon themselves to absolutely melt one of the **** in the mouth with a Bovril cup of cold piss. A small child, preferably.
  49. 27 points
    f**k them and their wretched family.
  50. 27 points
    The Don is sound as, seems like he would be great to have a few #cheekydrumsticks with. It was pretty much a Q&A for the whole night, was surprised at no Powerpoint skillz (#kaizen) So from the horses mouth, this is all in order of the question (canni be fucked grouping it together): Asked if Loy was still part of his plans for next season, stated that he's still under contract but has been out of the picture for a long time, so will discuss things with him over the summer. Didn't agree that we were basing our Academy decision on the Brentford model, he thought the recruitment policy had to change and try to and think out of the box. So we have someone based in England, who is covering 40 games a month. Tommy Robson contract will be extended. He alluded to Friday being the deadline (I'm not 100% on this) for new contracts for current squad. He agreed we need more physical presence. Loan players back to parent clubs, unlikely (or unfair as he put it) to expect them to return. He's looking to sign 10-12 players. In particular strengthen goalkeeper position, thinks Mutch is a great talent but is a tad young. Players coming in need to be flexible, can play a couple of positions. He's happy with the budget, he thinks it's comfortable for the Championship, any extra funds will go into the first team. Signings that are coming in have been watched over the past 4 months , they've been working hard since January, Tom Dallison has been one of those on the radar. He felt the team (Housties) needed a change/freshen up, that they probably went too far as a team. One or two experienced guys to come in, he wants players that will be hard working and committed for the football club, not to just pick up a wage. Head of recruitment has basically a list for every position in the squad, it will be a new squad. Scouting has been looking down south at all levels from Premiership under 23s to lower leagues. Looking at midfielders that can chip in with goals. Looking at roughly 6 players from down south. He wants a tighter squad, getting numbers to down to around 20 players. Captaincy will be looked at when the squad gets back together. He wants to keep Sibbald at the club, we have another year on his contract, feels his best position is playing playing behind the front two. Pretty happy with back room staff, we're joining the reserve league so he's looking at bringing in (maybe a player/manager). We will be the fittest team in league next year. Changed the fitness plan when he came in and saw the benefits towards the end of the season. Will look at Alex Harris and his position at the club over the summer, he sees his quality but has not produced at all during matches. He's found the job well tougher than he expected, he had to make changes ASAP. His worst moment(s) were the first 8 games, horrendous. Best was pumping Dundee United. The main aim get the team promoted, whether via play offs or title. Fans should be excited next season. Bairn for Life speech at the end was a bit cringe, but heart in the right place. DONE.
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