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  1. 58 points
    I can't take credit for this but my cap is doffed to whoever made this work of genius art.
  2. 55 points
    Like this post if you believe Rangers are dead.
  3. 44 points
    - Levein trying to get wide and their whole season collapsing - The injury mind game shenanigans that naebdy gives a shite about - Wee 7 bandz a week Naisy and K.Laff producing 0 shots on target - Scotland's great hope getting ragdolled for a derby goal again - Efe strutting about again like he's got slippers on his feet and a philly blunt in his gub - Hearts' hammer throwing tactics - That Randall laddy - The chubby dreamboat upgrading from shroo balls to 25 yard reverse daisy cutters - Dylan McGeouch - Habitual liberty taker YLT Daz folding a subbie in injury time for absolutely no reason - Marciano shelling it into the South Stand like it's a West Bank orphanage on his national service - We Dem Boyz
  4. 44 points
  5. 43 points
  6. 39 points
    My son Callan was born today at 04:15 after several days of stress and worry following an induction. Genuinely overwhelmed this morning phoning people to tell them about him.
  7. 35 points
    you're going to have to point out the 'R' mate
  8. 33 points
  9. 33 points
    Had my daughter at 1400 yesterday weighing in at 8 pounds 10, my Mrs had to get surgery after as she lost a lot of blood so it wasn’t the easiest experience but all is good now and I can safely say I am the happiest man in north Edinburgh. (Below picture is actually my child and is in no way imaginary)
  10. 32 points
    She is old but she’s not beautiful, And her features are not fine, She is known amongst her Sevco pals, As The Bike of Carntyne, And she tells me tales of all the guys, That she shagged in days of yore, And I wish a Happy Mothers Day, To the Gash My Father Tore......... [emoji149][emoji149]
  11. 32 points
    I was coming into the thread to post about how long it would take for some bantersaurus to post their own team’s first 11..
  12. 30 points
    I despise Celtic, but this is hilarious given that the previous incarnation of the club you support (the one that died) won a ton of trophies through financial doping, cheating and not paying their taxes. So deep down, all those memories you cherished of title wins, cup triumphs, European nights and supremacy, mean absolutely nothing. Hollow doesn't even cover it. That's why it was so hilarious when rangers died, when my team inflicted your new club's first ever defeat, and even more hilarious now as the misjudged sense of superiority you still carry is open for all to see and continues to be roundly mocked by all of us that support other teams. Cheers for the banter years lads.
  13. 30 points
    Hear the Tory linesman has declared Bates fit for work.
  14. 29 points
  15. 29 points
  16. 29 points
    What were the songs on it? Wee Free Kings, God Rest Ye Derry Mentalmen, Unto us a Mason is boyne, Frosty the UlstersaysNO!Man, Good King Williameslas etc.
  17. 27 points
  18. 26 points
    Any chance to see this gif again
  19. 25 points
  20. 25 points
    This. This so much, one of the hardest things to do is to open up and although I wished you could have done so before (therefore perhaps preventing this episode) you did now and i have massive respect for that. Ive run over a lot how to begin this post, perhaps a joke or an aggressively written statement meant in a light hearted way but I don't think it'll help. There's definitely something in Bairnardo's theory of pre accepting what might happen. The hardest thing is to find a way of stopping it happening. For me, it was sheer will power when things were utter shit and as you know, still struggle at times even though my situation is good. I was on meds once. Came off them because either I didn't regularly take them or they did nothing for me. But everone is different and each struggle is unique. The impulse to drink is more common than people think in my view. I don't get it so much anymore, it's embarrassingly been replaced by sugar cravings but it was dangerous and not something that there is a lot of help for out there. For me the fear of 2 or 3 days feeling below average scares me enough. Even if these impulses happen, go along with it but buy say 4 beers instead of lots. Something really good and enjoy some old highlights like you sent me, or stick on a good long film, and try to change your mind's response to this impulse. Cut down before eliminating it, it takes time. Also remember that relapses of such a thing will happen too. It's all part of overcoming something. The hardest thing in the world is to change habits, but it can be done. It just takes time and no pills can help, nobody else can take the strain of it, but others can guide and help. You know me better than anyone I dare say except my lass in some regards and you know the changes I've made in my life. Which brings me on to this, I know loneliness is one of the main problems. Im sorry I complained about having little personal space recently, seems really pathetic now but you know, it helped. So fucking talk before you reach for the beer OK? Anyway, loneliness and in particular, women or specifically attracting one. Don't take this the wrong way but you need to implement other changes before this happens. 1: forget them right now. Don't go to pubs alone approaching then. Just don't. They don't like this, speak to my lass about it. 2: focus on becoming healthier, make small changes perhaps to your diet and really push yourself to try some sports. Doesn't matter of you're shit, it's about good routine and you will also meet people. You have the time. 3: write some goals down. Write them fucking down. Now. Make goals each week so you can tick them off. Do it. Make them small, thinking about some bigger ones you may have long term. Write them down too. Fucking do it! 4: if you don't finish them all in a week, so what? But it's a good habit. Get into good habits and good things will start to happen. You've already improved your debt situation so much. 5: let relapses happen in smaller scales if you have to. It's fine. So stop beating yourself up over everything, please. Everyone fails. Everyone. You know what is a good habit? Trying again. Fucking trying again until whatever it is improved even just a bit. I'd insert a Family Guy clip I have in mind if I could find it. You're my Bro. Truly. I know we don't normally talk aloud about all this shit but perhaps we should have done, still can do. I don't like talking about all this shit in public but if it helps so be it, and if it inspires someone else even a tiny bit, it'll be worth it... You know that letter you left me when i left for Germany? I read that every so often. It makes me laugh and it inspires me to keep trying even when things are tough because they can be some days. It also helps me remember what I'm trying to accomplish in my life. YOU are helping me do that even now. YOU have helped me, as well as other amazing people, get me here today. If you're able to turn all that positive energy (yeah, wanky term but f**k it) onto yourself, you've got the potential to go so fucking far. Here's one mad wee random thought that might be worth considering. Have you looked into volunteering at a dog home or animal shelter? I know you love dogs, look into it. Even one evening or one weekend day a month. If that sounds like something fun, then nothing can stop you. Who knows where it could take you. Anyway enough rambling from me, I love you and I'll batter you if you do something so stupid again. I'll make myself more available to talk to and if you want advice, or guidance on anything at all, ask me.
  21. 24 points
    It's simple really, while it's a bitter pill to swallow, it effectively funds the Scottish game. I.e. tv companies want as many of these games as possible and will use it as part their marketing tools to gain as many viewers as they can. I personally have come to the end of the road with it all. My kids are now wanting to come to the football with me on a Saturday so I've decided to give up my season ticket at Celtic and will be taking up a parent and child ST at Dumbarton as of next season. I can't bare the thought of them sitting with me at CP and listening to the nonsense I need to listen to on a regular basis.
  22. 24 points
    Literally, the opposite has happened.
  23. 24 points
    Totally shattered but defo chances now.
  24. 24 points
    Wrong team champ, if it was Sevco you’d be down 2 nil.
  25. 23 points
    Everyone on P&B loves to rip the pish. We all love a bit of petty one-upmanship and a good dose of schadenfreude but The Buddies have totally spoiled it for everyone by marching to the title without breaking sweat. Obvz delighted there will be black and white ribbons on the trophy too. Also delighted to see the league’s best-dressed manager doing well. If you also wish to give a grudging “well done” to St Mirren, do it here. There’s a bleach shower for everyone on the way out. Oh look, here’s Michael with a season pass, calling at Todders, Tynecastle, Celtic Park..
  26. 23 points
    It's quite cute Rangers whoring themselves out to any manager with a modicum of success and getting told to f**k off everytime.
  27. 23 points
    Good time to sum up the weeks buildup to the game, the game itself and the aftermath.
  28. 23 points
    ive been very clear about my regard for Talbot ... indeed ive rarely come across folk i didnt like in the Juniors. Good folk and good times. I told Tam Johnson before we were accepted into the Juniors that our longer term aim was a return to Senior football when it was possible - but in the meantime we'd try to be good and positive members of the SJFA. I think we've been that. We've given it a good go and I hope we will continue to be this while we are a Junior club. If / when we do move to another grade it will be with a tinge of sadness for what we leave behind but also with hope and optimism for what lies ahead
  29. 23 points
    Laughed way harder than I should have at this.
  30. 22 points
    First win at Tannadice since 1933!
  31. 22 points
    Clarke is a good manager but his ability to consistently beat Rangers with that Killie team shows the rest of the managers in Scotland up as total shitehawks.
  32. 22 points
    Rangers losing to a Celtic side with ten men and a third choice debutante goalkeeper. Missing a chance that I'm fairly sure everyone on here would've scored in the process. They have a commitment to banter that I cannot help but admire.
  33. 22 points
  34. 22 points
    Have my daughter and my Mrs out of hospital just in time for the weekend and I don’t have to go back to work for over a week!
  35. 22 points
    It's a good 9 inches down my way, measured it myself in the garden. .
  36. 21 points
    'Read' a tabloid newspaper. Drive a white van. Rage about the nefarious and all-encompassing 'PC brigade'. Share Britain First content on social media, adding a word salad commentary about hanging foreigners. Vote for Brexit.
  37. 21 points
  38. 21 points
    Anyone who suggested that Celtic getting pumped today would be funnier than that is just plain wrong.
  39. 21 points
  40. 21 points
  41. 21 points
  42. 21 points
    What an evening. The mighty world famous are beaten at the Tony Macaroni stadium for the second time this season. I remember sitting slumped in the shed watching the Dabs horse us 3 0 in the game where Johnny Russel scored two. As i watched the dayglo clad woman and children directly across from me raise their knitting needles and weathers originals in the air whilst taunting it truly was a sight that disgusted me to the core. The thought of it still brings my mood down about 30% at any time. However, i remember thinking that better days would come for the Derry faithful and to remember such times when the Dees are in their rightful place - the pride of Tayside. Now here i sit and ponder what they have became as time has taken it's toll: The Dabs are in meltdown, with home attendances plumetting. Our streets are being cleansed - I've not seen a tangerine top in months as they retreat back to Angus with their tails between their legs. They are pennyless. Absolutely pennyless. We relegated them at Dens and sent the small band of away fans (lowest ever for a derby match) sliding out of the Shankly on a tsunami of Hooly's tears. They are on a managerial merry go round, which is all adding up in costs. Gussie Park is being sold off to raise funds. Pitch invasions after beating Airdrie in the cup. However the Dabs slated Dees for over celebrating as Jazza began the dabs long comical journey to the championship. The list could go on all night, it really could. The financial troubles are beginning soon and i'm buying a fucking front seat ticket. Get it round every single one of you dayglo b*****ds, you deserve every moment of shit you're going through and i only hope it gets a hell of s lot worse. Fucking arseholes. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssss. Thank you very much, cuntos. Thank you.
  43. 21 points
    Shaba saying on the wireless that Livi nicked the win against the run of play and that United dominated the game. A village in Hungary has lost their idiot, that's for sure. After years of watching Livingston stumble from one farce to another, and watching players on relative ransoms not trying a leg, I can't convey the sheer unadulterated fucking joy of watching a functional team who get paid buttons, give absolutely everything. The football is nothing special, the players individually won't win many awars but as a whole, they are the business. Scott Pittman - absolutely incredible. Oh my.
  44. 21 points
    Seems rather, well normal for this place, that a man who has been shot and his life placed in danger is being judged by people with no actual knowledge of him, his personality, his business but people are willing to hang him out to dry. I have met Paul on a few occasions and always found him to be a gent, enthusiastic to the point of hyper for want of a better word that though isn't relevant. Its a mans life that's in danger, a man, a son, a human being but all some people want to do is have a dig or make a joke.... f**k me!
  45. 21 points
    The hostility towards Ian Cathro from the press and his fellow professionals is a perfect example of the mindset which continues to blight Scottish football. I was gutted that he failed at Hearts, purely because the dinosaurs who attacked him will feel vindicated. Our game is so depressingly parochial. New ideas are frowned upon and dismissed, people who haven’t come from a traditional ‘football background’ are treated with suspicion and ridicule and we can’t have Johnny Foreigner managing the national team. We can’t tolerate intelligent journalists who are capable of delivering objectivity and insight. Ensuring that thick ex-professionals like Billy Dodds and Pat Bonner are kept on the gravy train is of more importance. Sportsound is a microcosm of the problems facing Scottish football as a whole.
  46. 20 points
    I'm literally quoting the actual laws of the game, you fucking deluded simpleton.
  47. 20 points
    Just when I thought the Banter Era was perhaps approaching it’s final throes, the **** find a new and wonderfully imaginative way to breath new life into the whole thing. Top, top stuff and thanks to the **** for their contribution towards the continued tear-inducing laughter we can enjoy. Now, both of you, f**k off back to the 17th century, please.
  48. 20 points
    I have no memory of posting that, it was a helluva few days. The absolute boy Yer auld da
  49. 20 points
    Right, here goes.....the link below is from yesterday's Glasgow Herald:- http://www.heraldscotland.com/business_hq/16045367.Dumbarton___s_tax_haven_owners_strike_deal_to_bring_club_onshore/ Lots of uplifting stuff in there and inspiring quotes from Ian Wilson, especially about the Challenge Cup Final. Wilson lives in Coventry, his fellow Brabco Directors Chris Stainton and Callum Hosie live in Leeds and Ormskirk respectively, yet to the best of my knowedge none of them was in attendance at Oswestry last week, despite all of these places being a damned sight nearer Shropshire than Dumbarton. The club Chairman, Les Hope, is on holiday for the month of February so it was left to (unpaid) Directors Colin Hosie and Alan Findlay to do the honours. And you see , that's the thing. There is no battery of folk running DFC, never mind a commercial department, and were it not for the efforts of these two guys assisted by a handful of people we'd barely function at all as a professional football club. This is a matter of simple fact, as is (owners) Brabco's refusal to invest money in the football team, so please bear this in mind, as these few stalwarts will probably bear the brunt of the supporters' anger and frustration for the simple reason that not everyone may be aware of the sitaution, and these guys are the only folk ever likely to be in the firing line. To say it's a far from ideal, never mind ordinary state of affairs is stating the obvious, but if anyone wants to assist in any way towardss making the 24th of March a memorable day for Dumbarton FC I'm sure Colin and Alan would be delighted to hear from you. Finally and for the avoidance of doubt, I have no personal angle to peddle here other than being fed up seeing decent and genuine DFC people having become human shields for chancers with no emotional attachment to our club.
  50. 20 points
    Fuck that shit, the day I see more Scotland flags among the Sellick support than Irish ones is the day I'll consider them to be representing "my nation".