Vasily Zaytsev

Out. I've an interview on Wednesday for which I'll have to do a bit of reading and I can't justify a game of fives in the time which intervenes between now and then.

Shades of Hamed Sacko.

Derek Holmes! Far poorer players have disgraced the Townhead turf! I mean, see before David began ritually injecting heroin into his scrotum, he was murder. Honestly...

The deep-lying second abuse-dispenser.

Firstly, apologies to David W for being foul and abusive: "whit ye laughin' at ya p***k!?" . Shocking patter from ol' Zaytsev over here. Am no' a big scary man really. NAMES ON THE BAW AFORE YE F****N' PASS IT BUT EH!? Lolz x. Secondly, apologies to everyone for being pish! I'm charging ahead with a bit of gym work through the week and Monday happens to be one of the nights on which I tear in after work. Not that it'd have made much difference tonight mind you. I'm only two or three weeks back into playing football after a three year abstinence: I'm as slow as week in the cliche and as rusty as the written-off old away stand at Cliftonhill. Good to see a few of the old stalwarts turning out tonight - long time no see. Must be nigh on three, four years. Mustn't it? I'm game to play regularly (again) if you could use a player. It'll be a month or so before I'm sharp right enough.

You should expect revelations on and off the field.

How did you manage a typo like that!? So this will kick off at eight and on the astro pitches behind the school which sits behind The Lee boozer, is that right? Townhead(ish) area.

Including or excluding moi?

Aye, if you could use a player give me a shout. I'll watch this thread.

I would be able to play this Monday. If you need the extra body, of course.

I've been directed here from the Quick Question thread. Like the poster above, I could go a game of five-a-sides. Would you give me a shout if/when you're a man or more short?

Oi oi!