michaela strachan

st mirren top

Get it right. We were about £2.5M in the red by the time we went up under Bertie. The greatest wee team achievement was not a Bavarian halftime scoreboard; it was hoodwinking lazy Bolton scouts in to thinking that the good right-back in Fife was your one. Well played - selling shite to Lancashire is like selling premature death to Clackmannanshire. The real reason though that banks were willing to give such large sums of money was simply that they knew DAFC are the biggest team in Fife. As shown by us being willing to spend £150K to resign a youth team player that we sent to you as a feeder team and give the kudos to earn the Scotland caps that he would never have earned in gullshite linoland I love it when the wee team snipe: it's like gummy wingless midges chewing on a oil rig.

Yorkston's been front-bottom-incontinent since Brian Soutar's lackeys clocked he'd nicked a half a million off of First Scottish last year. White Pages are free; Yellow Pages are a urine job. Typical DA Board: leaving a puddle of pish for some cleaner to mop up and chucking her an IOU worth less than what she squeezes out in to her bucket.

Masterton was involved with DAFC from about 1990 - first Leishman era. Crux of the matter as far as I'm concerned. Masterton is a fraudster, a liar and a crook and he was complicit in RBS pumping so much money in to Scottish football that the tax-payer had to take over the debt. What's the potential penalty? A 70 year old retired man being banned from working in the banking industry again in the future. If that. It's a pisstake.

The Fife Airport debt was for an April 2012 picnic and day out for the Yorkstons and the Mastertons. They booked the airport and had champers, tuna subs and custard for brunch in the hangar. Then Big John and Karen chased Wee Gav as they played with a kite. Later on, they all joined hands and sang Duran Duran's "Rio" as they watched the sun going down over Glenrothes and burnt a ledger on the runway. On the way back to Garvock Hill, Wee Gav came up with his latest business venture - solar panelled luxury mahogany coffins for the Himalayan market - and they took out yet another loan-back against East End Park which they used to pay upfront (odd for them really) for a wood shipment from Borneo to Nepal. Wee Gav's recent trips to 'Switzerland' were a ruse as he was actually in Kathmandu trying to get wealthy buddhists to buy in to his "spend your afterlife in solar-powered splendour" scheme. When they pointed out that they had no need for opulent burial due to their belief in re-incarnation, he offered to build a disco and executive boxes at the back of one of their temples - "it's a prime location, at the very least you should have a 3G mast in the monastery" Most of the Yellow Pages and O2 debt is also related to this.