Half A Person

One of my favourites from the Falkirk Herald a while back...

Just saw a big cauliflower anus on TV.

Ooh, tell us more....astronaut? Ninja? Stuntwoman? Oh.

Ha! I was just reminded of another woman I was in a meeting with and she was moaning about all these mysterious emails she was getting. Albeit they were work-related, but she just didnt recognise who was sending them... 'Just who is Dono Treply anyway?'

Another female colleague thought that North was just the direction you were facing...

A girl at my work once asked me which animal pineapple came from. My sister told me she had to check on the internet whether a penguin was a bird or a fish. Another woman I worked with bought on of these brithday cards for her pal which has the big events and headlines of a prticular year on the front, in this case 1974. ''Erm, I'm sure he was born in 1975....' ''Och, I'll get him another one...I'll just keep this one for next year.' The same woman was informed she had a ladder in her tights. ''Och (she says 'och' a lot), I'll just turn them inside-out''

''It's amazing how clear the moon can be during the day'' ''Eh, that's the sun''

What about Scrooge (1951) with Alistair Sims? Most consider it to be the definitive film version of A Christmas Carol. Unless you mean The Gulf War.

Listening to The Jayhawks a lot just now. Sorely underrated.

It might well be dead, too. You need to consider that.

new york i mean mexico city as a google search would surely reveal to the layman of population sizes.

I think you're right....

i think it was just ms paint...i dunno though..i'll have a wee search myself.

Yeah, that was me. I was a 'dab hand' as they say.

I've got this vision of grey squirrels pushing the red ones about, stealing their 'tuck' money and unzipping their little squirrel bag so all their little squirrel jotters fall out.