[Silvio]

Right, 5 statements about yourself to give the masses an idea of what you're actually like. Nothing like 'I have blue eyes' or shite like that. Stuff like this:

1. I'm sorry but I don't like Cheryl Cole. If she was playing tig in my garden i'd shut the curtains. Kimberly however...

2. I couldn't give a crap about 'Green' policies from political parties. Sort some crime out first.

3. Curb Your Enthusiasm pisses on EVERY other comedy shows. Those who like Gavin and Stacey or Russell Brand etc can GTF.

4. People should be allowed to smoke where they like, get cheap booze from supermarkets and buy king-size mars bars. It is a democracy after all.

5. I love freezing cold winters.

I realise this is a bit of a strange topic, but i've had a bit of a bad day and i'm in the mood for a rant.

[StewartyMac]

1 - I have never been on a bicycle. Ever.

2 - I've had eight different jobs. All but one of my previous seven workplaces are no longer there.

3 - I used to love Mary, Mungo, and Midge.

4 - I wear socks with sandals on holiday to wind people up.

5 - The first proper game I ever played on the ZX Spectrum was Trashman.

[TheDoctor]

1 - I once interviewed TV celebrity chef & shagger (allegedly) Gordon Ramsay about a game he played in East Kilbride in his brief career with Rangers.

2 - On my iPod I can listen to all sorts of diverse stuff such as Guns N Roses and Nickelback to Britney Spears and Girls Aloud.

3 - My all-time favourite computer game is Sensible Soccer from the Sega Mega Drive.

4 - In my first job at the local cinema, the new films that had just come out were Speed and Forrest Gump.

5 - I was in McDonalds when 9/11 happened, with coverage on the TV and ended up staying there for the afternoon as the horror of that day unfolded

[Savage Henry]

1. I have made several TV appearances. Highlights being Pick A Number and Knightmare.

2. When playing football games on Xboxes and such and such, I can't resist hacking the opposition to death and finishing the game with 7 men.

3. I can talk for hours about baseball and have recently joined a team in London.

4. I don't believe in love at first sight - but I suffer hate at first sight on a daily basis.

5. One of my hobbies is crossing the road when the red man is flashing, just when a parent is teaching their kid how to cross the road.

[Vanquinho.]

1 - I care about Hibs more than world peace and the threat of nuclear war

2 - I love skull caps

3 - I threw my mate's mum down a flight of stairs the other day

4 - I passed my driving test in July 2005 and have never owned a car

5 - When I drink, I drink to get pished, I never drink to "enjoy" it.

StewartyMac, on Dec 11 2008, 22:07, said:

1 - I have never been on a bicycle. Ever.

WTF!? Do you have 2 (or more) functioning legs?

[iron mike python]

Vanquinho., on Dec 11 2008, 22:45, said:

WTF!? Do you have 2 (or more) functioning legs?

How awkward would it be if StewartyMac said no.

[Vanquinho.]

iron mike python, on Dec 11 2008, 22:50, said:

How awkward would it be if StewartyMac said no.

I know, I tried to catch my finger as I clicked "Add Reply"

This post has been edited by Vanquinho.: 11 December 2008 - 22:52

[Raith Against The Machine]

1 - I'm incredibly lazy, and with very little willpower when it comes to looking for jobs, studying for exams, etc
2 - I'm doing Marketing at Uni, but I have no idea why.
3 - In general, I dislike Chinese people. Not because I'm a racist (well, maybe I am now) but they just seem more inconsiderate than other people...
4 - I'm not very good at maths.

[Ad Lib]

1. I met Peter Beardsley at Disneyland Paris.

2. If real Proportional Representation was introduced in Scotland, I'd vote Tory.

3. I was taught to play Chess by one of the people who contributed to the Advanced Higher Mathematics Books. He was a family friend in Fife.

4. I have never consumed more than 2 bottles of beer in one night.

5. I have never failed a test.

[The Phoenix]

1 I represented my home town on TV's "It's a Knockout"

2 I have a Scottish Cup Winner's Medal (for Hockey! )

3 I crashed the first car I ever bought on the way home

4 I fell three storeys off a partly completed building site when I was 11, stood up and walked away.

5 I have a morbid fear of being buried alive.

[Muggy]

1. I cried when Dundee were relegated.

2. I battered a friend when I was younger because he suggested I be 'the granny' in a game of 'housies'.

3. I love Leona Lewis.

4. I've broke my leg twice in the last two years, playing football.

5. I hardly ever drink alcohol.

[StewartyMac]

Vanquinho., on Dec 11 2008, 22:45, said:

WTF!? Do you have 2 (or more) functioning legs?

iron mike python, on Dec 11 2008, 22:50, said:

How awkward would it be if StewartyMac said no.

Vanquinho., on Dec 11 2008, 22:52, said:

I know, I tried to catch my finger as I clicked "Add Reply"

P&B at its best.

Naw, just never seen the attraction of a bike. Well, the mechanical kind, anyway.

[1320Lichtie]

1. I dont give a shit about Global Warming etc.

2. I hate black people singing (dont know why , im not racist or nothin there just shit)

3. I always get in fights with people even though I dont look for them im 16 now and have had about 17 proper fights , first one being 8 years old when i was playing sevens , this gadgie from Dee Club squared up to me so I gave him a booting and gave his dad the finger.

4. I like football , drinking and lassies more than my wee sister ATM

5. Dont want to be modest or anything but im actually really smart.

Edit : 4th point was harsh , but you know what there like when there 13.

This post has been edited by 1320Lichtie: 12 December 2008 - 08:50

[Muggy]

1320Lichtie, on Dec 11 2008, 23:52, said:

2. I hate black people singing (dont know why , im not racist or nothin there just shit)



4. I love football , drinking and lassies more than my wee sister

Surely, that's not true? Especially the 4th point.

This post has been edited by Muggy: 11 December 2008 - 23:55

[Michael W]

Muggy, on Dec 11 2008, 23:55, said:

Surely, that's not true? Especially the 4th point.

I can only imagine the responses if a Fifer had posted that

[Michael W]

Anyhoo...

1. I don't care about the environment.
2. I believe speed cameras should be banned and speedbumps removed.
3. I don't like pizza.
4. I am seriously considering voting Conservative at the next election.
5. Sick jokes amuse me.

[Muggy]

Michael W, on Dec 11 2008, 23:57, said:

I can only imagine the responses if a Fifer had posted that

[sonofjenova]

Silvio, on Dec 11 2008, 21:16, said:

1. I'm sorry but I don't like Cheryl Cole. If she was playing tig in my garden i'd shut the curtains. Kimberly however...

I'll pinch this one. Kimberley is indeed the best.

2. I've never broken any bone in my body.

3. I have never watched any of the Godfather films.

4. I have scored from the halfway line twice in competitive football matches.

5. My IQ suggests I'm a "genius". What a shit measurement of intellect it is.

[Muggy]

sonofjenova, on Dec 12 2008, 00:09, said:

4. I have scored from the halfway line twice in competitive football matches.

Ditto. I've also scored a 'mazie' from kick off.

[xbl]

1. While I used to care about stuff like the environment, socialism and redistribution, after 5 years of university (where I was supposed to get radicalised), I've found all my idealism beaten out of me. I would prefer we spent as little as possible and the government left well alone.

2. I seem to have a thing for south asian/north-african/middle eastern girls. When at conferences and the like, I seem to have an unerring capacity for striking up conversation with the girls who also know arabic.

3. Kinda related to point 2, I also used to enjoy watching Bollywood films, but now that I'm single I don't enjoy watching them on my own.

4. While I love football, and Arbroath, it isn't the biggest thing in my life. I have plenty of other things I could be doing at weekends and I'm more than happy to admit to putting spending time with my friends ahead of football at times.

5. I am easily startled and going into places first scares the bejesus out of me. If I am meeting someone in a pub or something, I prefer to wait outside till I see them. I really struggle with sitting in a public place on my own. I'm easily startled.

[StewartyMac]

Xbass Threepwood, on Dec 12 2008, 00:22, said:

5. I am easily startled and going into places first scares the bejesus out of me. If I am meeting someone in a pub or something, I prefer to wait outside till I see them. I really struggle with sitting in a public place on my own. I'm easily startled.

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.

[endieinreekie]

1. I once met John Peel after a set he played in Edinburgh (I had left after his set cos the rest of the music was crap and he was standing outside) and I had a drunken conversation with him while he shook my hand continuously for about 5 minutes.

2. After a night on the bevvy I was so desperate for a crap that I had to go in one of the alleys off Rose Street. Otherwise i would have shat myself.

3. I was voted the season's most valuable player at American Football in my final year at uni. It meant a lot to me as my fellow players voted almost unanimously for me.

4. One of my friends has applied for the Montrose manager's post about 5 or 6 times (some of these times even when there has been a manager in place). His applications are hilarious and always make me laugh.

5. When i die, I want my ashes scattered on the Isle of Skye, the most beautiful place on Earth. I do hope that it will be a while before this happens.

[Whistle Blower]

1, I tried to chat up Sharron Davies, but massive blood flow to my boaby affected my speach and resulted in failure.

2, My mate and I drunkenly chased Frank Skinner down Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow.

3, I do a 100 mile round trip to work every day in the car on my own, becasue I like my well paid job, and I don't want to live somewhere shitey.

4, I don't know how to ice skate.

5, I have never had sexual relations with any family member (as a fifer I know I'm in the minority)

This post has been edited by Whistle Blower: 12 December 2008 - 09:41

[Thundermonkey]

1. I once bought Glen Michael a pint in The Western bar but polietly declined his offer to go halfers and share a lapdance.

2. I was kicked out of the ASDA in Govan for licking the actual World Cup trophy.

3. I once shot myself in the face, suffering only shaky teeth, cut lips and a broken nose.

4. I stood beside actress Julia Stiles on the Circle Line one evening and could only offer up 'Nice Hair' to her when she acknowledged my staring.

5. When I make shit up I always ensure it contains a small element of truth so as to be convincing.