[Morrissey]

The best steal we had in our old student flat was the "O" of the big light up Morrisons sign!

[wearealldoomed]

vlad is the man, on Feb 6 2008, 23:06, said:

My sister told me about this guy in one of my locals who - when a fight broke out - somehow managed to nick a plasma screen tv!

Don't know why, but this had me pishing myself with laughter. Fantastic drunken opportunism.

I heard a similar story about a fruit machine once, but sadly I think it may be an unban myth.

[P.C]

most recent best one for me (although sure big Q and a few others could think of more!) was actually coming back from pie and bovril 5's last year. Heading home on the bus and pretty drunk i was getting phoned by a girl i didnt want to talk to and she kept phoning me, the guys thought it would be funny to take turns to phone me to wind me up further and withold their numbers. At one point they they actually left a message on my answer machine which was everyone on the bus singing (including me) and i still didnt click, started shouting that there was people singing down the phone to me and then it kicked into the next message without me realising which was from a recruitment company and i though it was them who phoned.

Queue month long ribbings about me applying for jobs with the singing recruitment agency

[Seanaldinho]

I've never done anything daft, but there is a bizarre thing I always do after a few pints. When talking to people I put one of my hands up to the side of my mouth, as if I'm telling a secret .

I've got no idea why though, I just can't control myself!

[well fan for life]

Last time I was pished I bruised my tail bone after a fall down a flight of stairs.

It was at a house party though, so not many people saw.

Although, tbh, I remember next to f**k all about that night.

Only what people have told me I was doing.

Morrissey, on Feb 7 2008, 03:25, said:

The best steal we had in our old student flat was the "O" of the big light up Morrisons sign!

One question.

How?!

This post has been edited by well fan for life: 07 February 2008 - 14:51

[KiwiDB]

4 of us after a night out in Stirling were walking home and managed to lift a Nissan Micra and turn it round to face the other way. By sheer coincidence we saw the woman go out to her car in the morning, the look on her face was priceless.

Flashing my ar'e at the CCTV camera in Stirling at 4am leading to 5 hours in the cells.

[thejailender]

The first season County were in the Scottish League gave many opportunities for long away days, and heavy drinking on the bus coming home after the matches. This usually lead to me heading to the pub and me leaving my wife at home with our then new born son.

Feeling guilty one night after the pub shut, my mate suggested I should get her flowers as it "would sweeten her anger" at me being away fro so long.

Obviously with it being after midnight, no flower shop would be open, so where else do you get roses from, but someones garden. However I never picked the roses int he usual way, but actually pulled the whole bush out of the ground.

She was in bed when I got home, but the flowers didn't work - as she got up the ground that was still attached to the bits of roots I got had made a bit of a mess in the living room - Probably wasn't a good idea to place it in the middle of the fire side rug.

[P.C]

taityboy, on Feb 7 2008, 16:25, said:

Similar to the plasma TV one.

I know a guy who went to lots of away games and liked a few drams. The bus they were on stopped and everyone on the bus, about 50 folk got off and went to a chippy. As you can imagine the place was packed and the staff were run off their feet.
Perfect time to snatch the TV.
It was auctioned off on the bus to the highest bidder.

lol i remember waking up at my mates after a night out with a generous collection of garden gnomes and a stone dice that was heavy as hell!

[reddev]

I remember one time after a family wedding i came back to my folks place afterwards and proceeded to pish in my maws kitchen bin whilst they paid for the taxi!

Mate had a house party and when we got up in the morning someone had shat in his cuttlery drawer,man i was helpless wi laughter.

posted my kebab through neighbours letterbox before and i was once caught by the polis 4 walking home with someone elses wheelie bin,when they asked me wot i was doing,i just told em i was taking my wheelie bin for a walk as he needed out!

[Coup]

taityboy, on Feb 7 2008, 16:25, said:

Similar to the plasma TV one.

I know a guy who went to lots of away games and liked a few drams. The bus they were on stopped and everyone on the bus, about 50 folk got off and went to a chippy. As you can imagine the place was packed and the staff were run off their feet.
Perfect time to snatch the TV.
It was auctioned off on the bus to the highest bidder.

I can just imagine that and their faces after they had all left "Pheew thank fuck for that, lets relax and watch a wee bit of the bloody hell wheres the telly!"

[somerset.rd.end]

maybe 20 years ago,was out drinking 1 sunday afternoon,( the old days when pubs closed at 2.30 on a sunday) went to the st.annes in ayr, now called the st.andrews, anyway to cut to the chase, asked the barmaid for a set of darts, then as she was looking for them behind the bar, took the dart board off the wall and walked out. sold it to a guy at work the following day...