[bluetooner]

xbl, on Sep 11 2007, 16:59, said:

Because once wasnt enough for you?

Yeah, Philpy is just so hot. Id rather have him again without the new teeth however.


You want to have a try?

[Andyboy]

Genius thread, hilarious

[kiwififer]

I'm getting on a plane in a few hours. What do I do Auntie Phil, if I see a well-tanned man with a towel on his heid, running down the isle shouting 'allah!'?

Do I punch him to the ground and shout 'this is Glasgae, we'll set aboot ye', in a mock weegie accent?

This post has been edited by kiwififer: 11 September 2007 - 22:45

[Philomena McCann]

kiwififer, on Sep 11 2007, 23:43, said:

I'm getting on a plane in a few hours. What do I do Auntie Phil, if I see a well-tanned man with a towel on his heid, running down the isle shouting 'allah!'?

Do I punch him to the ground and shout 'this is Glasgae, we'll set aboot ye', in a mock weegie accent?

Aye ye see, Gerry was sufferin' a wee bit fae sunstroke that week. Aw this travelin tae Dubai, Phuket, Honolulu, Aruba, Seychelles and Maddiegascar in the search fur his wean meant he got a wee bit tae much sun - that's why he wis sae broon! The towel was on his heed just tae try and cool him doon. We're no sure whit he wis tryin tae say, but we reckon it wis 'allah kill the man who took maddie' and definitely no 'allah go tae hell fur this' like some stupit basturts suggested.

So, nuthin tae panic aboot flyers!

[Philomena McCann]

philpy, on Sep 11 2007, 21:51, said:

Auntie phil,

i have bad aids. How long do i have left? weeks? days? minutes?

As ye aw ken, AIDS stands fur Artifishial Insinuation by Dugs (Sniffers). As ye aw ken this is a very very bad thing. When they basturtin dugs target ye, the dirty greasy Portugese polis'll no let go. Yer fur it if ye stay in Portugal so ah'd recommend ye come hame quickly.

Then when ye get hame, use the money that folk have donated fur yae to fight yer case. This is the only cure accordin to oor Gerry, he's a doctor ye ken. Oh aye, or just try sedatives he says.

[Johnstoun]

Auntie Phil,

I run a nappy recycling service in Portugal (I'll do anything for kids) and have a problem.
I was using the service somewhat dishonestly as I was taking the opportunity to help myself to the hair caught in my customers' hairbrushes for a new toupee I was working on.
Not only was my service badly affected when my usual hire car was seconded by some tourists for a considerable length of time, but when it came back the police had siezed my hair collection from the boot! Do I have any recourse for the loss of earnings and follicles?

Thanks,

G. Glitter

[flogelsleftpeg]

Quality thread

Auntie Phil,

Do you believe that man has ever been to the moon, or was it all a cover up by the Portuguese and there dam sniffers

[LargsTON]

philpy, on Sep 11 2007, 21:51, said:

Auntie phil,

i have bad aids. How long do i have left? weeks? days? minutes?

Dunno but it's been working on your features for years.

[djchapsticks]

Philomena McCann, on Sep 12 2007, 11:08, said:

As ye aw ken, AIDS stands fur Artifishial Insinuation by Dugs (Sniffers).

Fucking Brilliant!

[Gaz]

Hooray!

[sonofjenova]

I assume Auntie Phil has been retired then

[The Naitch]

Was it really that long ago that Auntie Phil graced us with her wisdom? Fantastic thread.

[KnightswoodBear]

I miss aunty phil

[flogelsleftpeg]

One of the funniest threads ever on P&B, if Burgundy could cut out the nonsense and apologise, we could get some of the genius like this thread back.

[Don Diego De la Vega]

Philomena McCann, on Sep 10 2007, 19:28, said:

Sedatives.... that's his bloody answer tae everything.

Genius


how did i miss this thread first time round