[G_Man1985]

Scored an own goal at five a sides tonight, we lost bye just the one goal

[Milevskiy]

Fell asleep and missed my stop. Stuck in larbert for the forceeable

This post has been edited by Milevskiy: 25 May 2012 - 23:35

[Todd_is_God]

G_Man1985, on 25 May 2012 - 22:23, said:

Scored an own goal at five a sides tonight, we lost bye just the one goal

An actual own goal, rather than a mere deflection? How?!

[Widge]

Todd_is_God, on 26 May 2012 - 00:19, said:

An actual own goal, rather than a mere deflection? How?!

Oh it's really quite easy. My best one was I played the ball back to our goalie , except he was at the other side of the goal and te ball just trickled in.

In my defence it took me all 2 minutes to equalise that night.

[Patrick Bateman]

WTF. There are no words for this:

[Ad Lib]

That's fucking brutal. She should be kept as far away from children as possible.

[Adam]

I'd love to batter f**k out of her.

[Nkomo-A-Gogo]

Been looking after a friends Jack Russell since wednesday night and i went out on my bike with it running alongside when it got whats left of its tail stuck it my brake disc and wound around

i tried to help free him and he bit f**k out my hand ive lost a nail and loads of punctures in my hand. went to the vet and he had to take off the rest of his tail.
It was fucking horrible. he was already a bit timid but we get him back tomorrow and i dont what he will be like. i feel like shit

[The Phoenix]

Ad Lib, on 26 May 2012 - 13:48, said:

She should be kept as far away from children as possible.

If her hand slips during one of her "extreme moves", you might get your wish.

I'd pay to watch her getting flung about like a rag-doll.

[The Phoenix]

Nkomo-A- Gogo, on 26 May 2012 - 17:08, said:

Been looking after a friends Jack Russell since wednesday night and i went out on my bike with it running alongside when it got whats left of its tail stuck it my brake disc and wound around

i tried to help free him and he bit f**k out my hand ive lost a nail and loads of punctures in my hand. went to the vet and he had to take off the rest of his tail.
It was fucking horrible. he was already a bit timid but we get him back tomorrow and i dont what he will be like. i feel like shit

There's so much humour waiting to be derived from that but it actually is too sad to go there.

Hope you both recover.

This post has been edited by The Phoenix: Yesterday, 17:14

[smpar]

Adam, on 26 May 2012 - 16:44, said:

I'd love to batter f**k out of her.

[placidcasual345]

Nkomo-A- Gogo, on 26 May 2012 - 17:08, said:

Been looking after a friends Jack Russell since wednesday night and i went out on my bike with it running alongside when it got whats left of its tail stuck it my brake disc and wound around

i tried to help free him and he bit f**k out my hand ive lost a nail and loads of punctures in my hand. went to the vet and he had to take off the rest of his tail.
It was fucking horrible. he was already a bit timid but we get him back tomorrow and i dont what he will be like. i feel like shit

As a dog owner, I really shouldn't but I did have a wee giggle. He'll be fine, a couple of inches shorter from snout to tail now, but fine. Jack Russell's are hardy wee fuckers.

[JamboMikey]

Igor Borisovich Charkovsky.

BEAST!

[ScottR96]

Nkomo-A- Gogo, on 26 May 2012 - 17:08, said:

Been looking after a friends Jack Russell since wednesday night and i went out on my bike with it running alongside when it got whats left of its tail stuck it my brake disc and wound around

i tried to help free him and he bit f**k out my hand ive lost a nail and loads of punctures in my hand. went to the vet and he had to take off the rest of his tail.
It was fucking horrible. he was already a bit timid but we get him back tomorrow and i dont what he will be like. i feel like shit

What did your friend have to say about it?

[Adam]

Nah, my wife's got bigger tits.

[capybara]

Drivers who scream past you on the off side ,only to cut in to your nearside and exit the motorway. And while im at it if any of those stupid kids that were running across the M9 at Stirling today see this and can read. You do not know how close you came to causing a serious accident ....or getting killed.

[mizfit]

The hut complaining about the dog it's fines, they rarely miss most there tail, my last dog never, albeit I miss him :-(
Rip sam

[Bert Raccoon]

Adam, on 26 May 2012 - 18:56, said:

Nah, my wife's got bigger tits.

So has my husband.

[keithgy]

My step daughter saw he wee cousin's dog getting knocked down and killed yesterday

[Mak QOSFC]

Milevskiy, on 25 May 2012 - 23:33, said:

Fell asleep and missed my stop. Stuck in larbert for the forceeable

04.30 Glasgow Central to London Euston, meant to get off at Carlisle, woke up in London. Now that's missing your stop.

This post has been edited by Mak QOSFC: Yesterday, 22:32

[Bert Raccoon]

mhak QOSFC, on 26 May 2012 - 22:32, said:

04.30 Glasgow Central to London Euston, meant to get off at Carlisle, woke up in London. Now that's missing your stop.

I once woke up in Motherwell when I should've got off in Hamilton. It was an awful experience and I'm amazed that I survived.

[forzamorton]

One thing that has always drove me up the wall is when people say "every c*nt".

For example - "Who's going out?" "Every f*cking c*unt"

Go. Die. Now.