Mortar Bored Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I was going to put this in the Top Fives section, but as I'm only listing four in each category, that would just be rude. My favourite birds are..... 1. Golden Eagle- Truly magnificent creature, whether in flight or perched, it's top Boi, also can pluck stranded lambs from rocky outcrops and could carry them to safety if it wasn't hungry. 2. Robin Red Breast- Christmas card favourite, cute and symbolic of winter! Where do they go in summer? Do they shed the red feathers and turn into fat sparrows? 3. Ostrich- I once rode an Ostrich in South Africa (insert Kenneth Williams gif). They can also rip your guts out with their talons, but I've met a few and none have done so. Pretty friendly IMO. 4. Penguin- for the parades and Lolz. My least favourites are. 1. Seagulls- the obvious choice for the seaside dwelling chip lover. They also attack if you walk anywhere near their fledglings. Also have a dogging manoeuvre named after them...filth. 2. Toucan- never seen one and actually doubt if they exist, if they do, their collective agreement to advertise the oirish laxative makes them bad uns. 3. Budgie- annoying pets of old ladies, sometimes give you cheek and shout insults. Would receive a bang in the pus if they didn't hide in cages- also seem vain, as every one I've met spends a lot of their time looking in a mirror. 4. Pigeons- flying rats (except wood pigeon, which is tasty). Birds I like to eat. 1. Duck 2. Chicken 3. Turkey 4. Pelican Does anyone else like birds? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I'm an ornithologist, but I don't like to crow about it, 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Mortar bored is awful chirpy for a Saturday morning. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 Mortar bored is awful chirpy for a Saturday morning. It's afternoon where I am, owl have you know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 1) Jessica Alba 2) Candice Swanepoel 3) Sara Jean Underwood 4) Katy Perry 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I like tits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 I like tits. I just spat Stella Artois everywhere! Good work! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Ostriches are fucking terrifying IMO. A modern day velociraptor. Luckily there are so few left in the wild in Fife it's a rare occasion when I have to fight one off on the way to work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I don't like any birds, doesn't make me queer, does it? Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 1) Jessica Alba 2) Candice Swanepoel 3) Sara Jean Underwood 4) Katy Perry Did VT give you permission to post? Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 I don't like any birds, doesn't make me queer, does it? Grimbo Yes, yes it does. Our feathered friends are magnificent. You must have one that you like? Maybe homing pigeons? Morto 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Yes, yes it does. Our feathered friends are magnificent. You must have one that you like? Maybe homing pigeons? Morto No none at all, you can't cuddle them & I'm a veg so I can't even enjoy eating any of them? My gran had budgies when I was a kid but she's dead now & so are Polly & Joey. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid android Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I don't like any birds, doesn't make me queer, does it? Grimbo That's not what makes you queer, Grimble. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I enjoy saying the French word for bird. Oiseau. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Oystercatchers are my nemesis of the natural world. They belong on the mudflats (picking out worms using their specially evolved stupid beaks), we do not, and stay well away as we'd just die a horrible death. Therefore, why the f*** do they come inland and then constantly screech like a shot rabbit if you come within a ten mile radius of one of them? Corncrakes in fields just outside of the place you're staying can also be a royal pain too. I like Snowy Owls though, largely because I unintentionally got within three feet of one down a hole in the Highlands, and it followed me around for an afternoon. Only sighting in Scotland that year. Barn Owls can bugger off back to the kids book they came from though. Eagle Owls have a good 'bad-ass, don't give a fcuk' look to them on the other hand. The Hooded Crow and Rook which visit my garden have a cool "whazzup, yo' look, so I'll add them too. The Magpie is overrated. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Ostriches are fucking terrifying IMO. A modern day velociraptor. Luckily there are so few left in the wild in Fife it's a rare occasion when I have to fight one off on the way to work. I see your ostrich and raise you a cassowary. The clue's in the name... be wary about them or they'll claw your face off and roundhouse kick you for afters. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 (edited) I like tits. There's loads of different kinds: Great tits: Blue tits: Cole tits: Marsh tits: Bearded tits: Edited February 6, 2016 by Hillonearth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I prefer a shag. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortar Bored Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 I prefer a shag. ^^ pipe smoker found^^ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Yes, yes it does. Our feathered friends are magnificent. You must have one that you like? Maybe homing homo pigeons? Morto 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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