Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Since it looks like the Rovers might have their third postponement of 2015, a bit of fantasy to fill the time.

At our club we have a manager who is clearly destined for bigger things: when Barry Smith leaves Alloa for St. Mirren in June, Darren will get the job at the Rec. He'll see them thrive out of their depth in the Championship, overseeing a good few years of mid-table finishes, and by the time Derek McInnes completes his Aberdeen story and gets his move to the EPL, Darren will be trusted to take over at Pittodrie. It is written.

Meanwhile at the Rovers, life will go on. Here are our next five Numbers One.

Sandy Clark- When Young moves to Alloa he'll appoint his brother Derek as his new assistant, and leave the reins at Cliftonhill to his natural successor, the Airdrieonian, with a player-assistant to learn from his wealth of experience (just as DY is doing presently.)

Scott Chaplain- After the league win in 2014/15, he will have done it all at the Rovers as a player. Reaching the age where playing makes way for coaching, Scott is the natural choice to be Clark's assistant and successor.

Peter Houston- With any luck Chappie will quickly move on to bigger things, just as Darren is destined to. By then we'll be establishing ourselves as a competitive League One club, and Peter, the best ex-Rover at football management since Jock Stein, will be ready to make the slight step down as he nears retirement.

Ciaran Donnelly- Having spent half his life playing and coaching at the club, Ciaran will get the gig as manager. He'll be an inspirational leader of men but ultimately a failure. He will step down gracefully, and still offer his services in the backroom staff.

Steve Mandanda- It's a rule in Scotland that every time a managerial position becomes available, at least one random name from European football must go into the hat. Eventually one of them will have to happen. Mandanda will arrive in sunglasses, scarf-waving and badge-kissing, and he will be seen integrating himself with the Coatbridge community, for the first two days. After the first defeat he will go into hiding. His Rovers career will last three months.

I've probably been quite predictable with most of my picks, but other clubs with better coaching infrastructure and more successful ex-players will have some crackers. Who is destined to occupy your club's technical area?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Robbie Horn - following Cameron's dismissal in January 2016 for falling asleep in the dugout, Horn finally takes charge. However his time is ill-fated as he used the January transfer window to bring back David Greenhill and immediately grants this Berwick legend a testimonial. Sadly the event provides an unwelcome distraction to getting back to form in the league and we finish 6th.

John Coughlin - The big man makes his inevitable return, a decision which immediately splits the fans. Coughlin wasted no time in making David Greenhill captain before signing a 13 year old from St Mirren claiming that he knew him from his days as manager there. Unsurprisingly the new Scott Gemmill is too lightweight once again and him and Greenhill are awful in midfield throughout. Coughlin finds himself sacked after the supporters trust turn on him out of nowhere.

Jimmy Crease - and so for the remaining two months of the season Jimmy Crease returns for the 16th managerial spell at Berwick of his career. He stabilises the ship and Berwick finish 6th. However, he returns to his position as director after retiring from management.

Ian Little - Berwick turn to Ian Little again as their ambition show once more. That guy who does the stats on here records that Berwick spend the season with an average of 86% of possession in games. Sadly Ian decides to give all of our players new deals on higher wages then complains about how hard it is to motivate them, and we find scoring difficult. Berwick finish the season in 6th. Ian Littles contract is not renewed, but he does tell the Berwick Advertiser that he was sacked by text in a front page exclusive.

Alan Pardew - following fifteen years of mediocrity Berwick finally earn promotion under the management of Alan Pardew, who returns to the north east. The appointment is much to the disgust of BerwickMad who immediately stops supporting Berwick. It is clear there is a correlation between winning leagues and not having his constant negativity. The 'Gers go on to be in the SPL after several consecutive promotions. A statue of Alan is erected outside the Alan Pardew Arena.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

John Coughlin - Coughlin finds himself sacked after the supporters trust turn on him out of nowhere.

Alan Pardew - following fifteen years of mediocrity Berwick finally earn promotion under the management of Alan Pardew, who returns to the north east. The appointment is much to the disgust of BerwickMad who immediately stops supporting Berwick. It is clear there is a correlation between winning leagues and not having his constant negativity. The 'Gers go on to be in the SPL after several consecutive promotions. A statue of Alan is erected outside the Alan Pardew Arena.

Totally reasonable post ruined by one ludicrous unbelievable comment and BM wouldn't stop supporting merely swamp social media with a Pardew Out campaign.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 11 months later...

Browne Ferguson joins Shire & then leaves after one game to join Falkirk to become the first manager to manage all " Falkirk " area Clubs

Alan Mackin becomes Manager & Shire are relegated to the Lowland League with only 12 points obtained by four 8- 0 thrashings of Barry Ferguson`s Clyde. Mackin leaves after finding out he can not sell Ochilview & build a Care Home & houses on it

Danny Diver is recruited as a player / manager to get some goal threat up front for the Shire . Shire get Relegated to the East of Scotland League to be replaced by Lothian / Hutchy Vale

Sir Alex Ferguson takes pity on the Shire & Builds a 80,000 seat Stadium at Bainsford & Bank rolls the team . The Shire rise back up the Leagues . they destroy Fort William in the Lowland League / Highland League Play Off match . They then Relegate Clyde 21 - 0 on aggregate .Barry Ferguson complains that the Shire team cost more than his 5 Million Pound Clyde team & any way 20 of the Shire goals were Offside from where he was sitting . He is later arrested after going fighting with the Home " Baby Booster Club Members " in the Club Creche . He resigns & goes to manage Braehead Clan Ice Hockey Club .His first action is to buy a cover to stop the playing surface freezing.

Shire also win the Scottish Cup 4 - 0 after beating Celtic despite losing three Players injured due to Green Flares fired from the Celtic end . Celtic claim that they were not Celtic fans & must have been neutrals .

Gordon Russell is then appointed as player / Manager & he guides Shire to the top league while setting a new UK record for the most games played by a player in any Senior British League

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Browne Ferguson joins Shire & then leaves after one game to join Falkirk to become the first manager to manage all " Falkirk " area Clubs

Alan Mackin becomes Manager & Shire are relegated to the Lowland League with only 12 points obtained by four 8- 0 thrashings of Barry Ferguson`s Clyde. Mackin leaves after finding out he can not sell Ochilview & build a Care Home & houses on it

Danny Diver is recruited as a player / manager to get some goal threat up front for the Shire . Shire get Relegated to the East of Scotland League to be replaced by Lothian / Hutchy Vale

Sir Alex Ferguson takes pity on the Shire & Builds a 80,000 seat Stadium at Bainsford & Bank rolls the team . The Shire rise back up the Leagues . they destroy Fort William in the Lowland League / Highland League Play Off match . They then Relegate Clyde 21 - 0 on aggregate .Barry Ferguson complains that the Shire team cost more than his 5 Million Pound Clyde team & any way 20 of the Shire goals were Offside from where he was sitting . He is later arrested after going fighting with the Home " Baby Booster Club Members " in the Club Creche . He resigns & goes to manage Braehead Clan Ice Hockey Club .His first action is to buy a cover to stop the playing surface freezing.

Shire also win the Scottish Cup 4 - 0 after beating Celtic despite losing three Players injured due to Green Flares fired from the Celtic end . Celtic claim that they were not Celtic fans & must have been neutrals .

Gordon Russell is then appointed as player / Manager & he guides Shire to the top league while setting a new UK record for the most games played by a player in any Senior British League

^^^^^^^^

Obsessed with Clid

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...