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With my other half being away for a few days, I realised that I perhaps know how to cook maybe 3 or 4 meals and takeaways become boring. What with P&B being a smorgasbord of culture and finesse, I thought I would ask the masses to share their culinary delights.

There is no snobbery involved here, from making minor adjustments to roasted/toasted/cheese on toast to arse blasting currys. Please share your advice or recommendations to chefs recipes.

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e.g.: For a pissed up meal, I sometimes put a layer of tomato puree before cooking the above cheese snack, it turns it into a mini pizza.

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You will need;

  • 2 tablespoons of cinnamon
  • 2 or 3 egg whites
  • half a stick of butter, melted
  • a cup of flour
  • a cup of unsweetened chocolate
  • half a cup of brandy
  • a bag or two of sugar
  • a pinch of vanilla

Here are the steps;

  • Put the cinnamon, egg whites and butter in a bowl. Stir it with a wooden spoon
  • Mix in the flour
  • Pour in the chocolate and the brandy then the sugar
  • Add the vanilla
  • Grease up the cookie sheet
  • Preheat the oven to 350






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If you are on your own.

Get yourself down to Lidl's.

Pack of diced chicken (half price just now).

Tin sliced button mushrooms.

Tin of mushroom or chicken soup.

Box of Golden Sun boiled rice (individual sachets).

Add sachet of rice to boiling water and simmer for 15 minutes.

Whilst rice is cooking, brown off the chicken in a large pan.

Open and drain off the mushrooms and add to the chicken.

Add the tin of soup and simmer until the rice is ready.

Serve yourself half and keep the rest for freezing to use another day.

Enjoy.

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For my recipe you will need one

1 Case Lager

1 Take away menu

1 Telephone

Method

Remove 1 can of lager from case and pull ring pull. Drink lager while perusing take away menu. While continuing to drink lager call number for take away, this is usually on the front of menu. Tell the nice people in the take away to make you something to eat and bring it to your house/flat/caravan/boat.

Continue drinking lager at a pace that suits you until food is delivered, eat food, drink the rest of the lager.

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For my recipe you will need one

1 Case Lager

1 Take away menu

1 Telephone

Method

Remove 1 can of lager from case and pull ring pull. Drink lager while perusing take away menu. While continuing to drink lager call number for take away, this is usually on the front of menu. Tell the nice people in the take away to make you something to eat and bring it to your house/flat/caravan/boat.

Continue drinking lager at a pace that suits you until food is delivered, eat food, drink the rest of the lager.

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If you are on your own.

Get yourself down to Lidl's.

Pack of diced chicken (half price just now).

Tin sliced button mushrooms.

Tin of mushroom or chicken soup.

Box of Golden Sun boiled rice (individual sachets).

Add sachet of rice to boiling water and simmer for 15 minutes.

Whilst rice is cooking, brown off the chicken in a large pan.

Open and drain off the mushrooms and add to the chicken.

Add the tin of soup and simmer until the rice is ready.

Serve yourself half and keep the rest for freezing to use another day.

Enjoy.

Save some? That's a starter.

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Got some left over rice from yesterday. Frying it up with some chicken and whatever veg is in my fridge that's going off (at the moment two onions and a carrot - adding some frozen peas to give it done variety), drizzling some rice wine and soy sauce on it.

Simple (takes 15 minutes) and means you don't waste leftovers/extra food that is lying in your fridge.

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You will need;

  • 2 tablespoons of cinnamon
  • 2 or 3 egg whites
  • half a stick of butter, melted
  • a cup of flour
  • a cup of unsweetened chocolate
  • half a cup of brandy
  • a bag or two of sugar
  • a pinch of vanilla

Here are the steps;

  • Put the cinnamon, egg whites and butter in a bowl. Stir it with a wooden spoon
  • Mix in the flour
  • Pour in the chocolate and the brandy then the sugar
  • Add the vanilla
  • Grease up the cookie sheet
  • Preheat the oven to 350

That sounds amazing. Just want to stick them in my mouth and suck them.

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Beef Bourguignon

Get an onion. Dice it and stick it in deep dish.

Add some shoulder of beef. Make sure it's fatty and diced as well and at room temperature. Put into the pangradually. DO NOT add all the beef in there at the same time. The beef will bring down the temperature of the pan.

You will then have a beef stock infused with the onions.

Add in some red wine, water and then a diced carrot.

Let it cook for an hour and a half and let it reduce.

Serve with boiled rice.

Bon Appetite.

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Beef Bourguignon

Get an onion. Dice it and stick it in deep dish.

Add some shoulder of beef. Make sure it's fatty and diced as well and at room temperature. Put into the pangradually. DO NOT add all the beef in there at the same time. The beef will bring down the temperature of the pan.

You will then have a beef stock infused with the onions.

Add in some red wine, water and then a diced carrot.

Let it cook for an hour and a half and let it reduce.

Serve with boiled rice.

Bon Appetite.

What's a pangradually?

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An easy one would be salmon en pappilotte.

Get a single fillet of salmon from the fish counter at the supermarket. Ask them for a disc of garlic & herb butter.

Stick it in some tinfoil & cook in 190C preheated oven for 15mins.

Serve it with some steamed tatties & asparagus. Hollandaise sauce if you can be arsed.

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if it's a few days she's away for get the slow cooker out.......

1 large joint (beef/lamb/pork)

Mixed vegetables (broccoli, carrots, potato etc - even use a bag of frozen mixed veg if you want)

2 tins of chopped tomatoes

1-1.5l of stock.

Salt/Pepper etc

Add the chopped tomatoes into the slow cooker,

Seal the joint in a screaming hot frying pan then place in slow cooker,

Add veg & stock,

Place lid on slow cooker & cook for 5 hours.

Takes a while to cook but you'll be eating a delicious joint of meat for days.......tastes better as the flavours enfuse too!

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What's a pangradually?

A Pangradually is a cooking utensil.

Urban Dictionary: Pangradually (Pan-grad-ual-ly). A cooking utensil that Sgt Wilson should know about at his stage in his life.

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No. But it is the same as a pan if that helps. It's a gradual pan if that helps further.

Edit: What kind of steamer do you have?

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