Guest Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Today was the first day of a job I do one month every year, and that meant meeting a huge amount of people who I haven't seen in a ages. They ranged from good friends to acquaintances, to people I don't know that well and even new folk who I've never met before. It was nice to catch up with everyone and it should be a great month, but before the excitement could begin I had to negotiate the absolute minefield that is deciding how to greet each individual person. Hug? Handshake? Kiss on the cheek? A contactless hello with optional wee wave? 50 or so people, 50 or so decisions. It doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you both do the same thing. The raised hand for a handshake turned awkward nail inspection, or god forbid the hug whilst they go for the kiss on the cheek which feels like embracing your granny when you were a child, you have to be so careful. With blokes it's generally simple (handshakes all round apart from good mates you haven't seen in ages where a hug works), with the ladies there's a question mark. Is shaking their hand weird? How well do you need to know them to go for a hug or the risky cheek peck? So many questions, so few clear answers. Do any PnBers have any tricks for this? I think we need a more transparent system, and I'd like to hear more from Salmond and the SNP on what the procedure would be for greeting people in an independent Scotland. Discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 If they're still crying after that length of time, I'd steer clear tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Once a month every year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Once a month every year? Edited to correct my mistake. Unfortunately you can't edit the mistake of a shit greeting though. This would be something I'd look at introducing in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaDundee Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 If they are female and good-looking then it's a hug. If they are ugly just ignore them and do the Partridge gif shoulder shrug when they greet you then walk away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 This is where the man must take control. Let everyone know what's happening. Take control with FLAMBOYANCE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Edited to correct my mistake. Unfortunately you can't edit the mistake of a shit greeting though. This would be something I'd look at introducing in the future. You can't go round 50 individually. A wave and "hello everybody" will do.If this was in the street or on public transport you would, of course, pretend not to have seen them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I've met my brother's girlfriend three times and each time I've either nearly given her a black eye or knocked her teeth out with my head due to me not really knowing what to do and end up doing a combination of shaking her hand, giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doulikefish Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 A quick hi everybody Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 You can't go round 50 individually. A wave and "hello everybody" will do. If this was in the street or on public transport you would, of course, pretend not to have seen them. This has already happened. I did have to say hello to everyone at some point, pretty much individually. Everyone did. My solution was to treat everyone exactly the same (regardless of their gender, how well I knew them etc) in the style of a high class 1920's American woman. Arm out, wrist/hand/fingers pointed down, and a "charmed" to go with it. I got some strange looks but at least we all knew where we stood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 THERE'S BEEN A CLASH OF HEADS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 High fives all round. No-one can resist a high-five. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 This is where the man must take control. Let everyone know what's happening. Take control with FLAMBOYANCE. Like so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Firm handshake and smile/head nod. Formal yet friendly etiquette. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMMjag Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I like to (in one fluid movement) click my fingers, touch the side of my forehead with my index finger, and then point towards the person I'm gretting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Greet them and tell them nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 You could try a haka. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I like to (in one fluid movement) click my fingers, touch the side of my forehead with my index finger, and then point towards the person I'm gretting. Textbook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bully Wee Villa Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Tongues for the women, friendly greeting of "alright you paedo!" for the men, is what I always go for. Mind you, I have been sacked from my last twelve jobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tryfield Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 High fives all round. No-one can resist a high-five. Except in Fife. High sixes are the norm there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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