Jan Vojáček Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Hi everyone Let me first explain the back story before I begin my rant! My Dad took over running my wee brothers 2001 team 4 years ago, since then he's had three coaches helping him both of whom have left because it got too much for them (two were fed up with the time it was consuming and the other had got a new job and needed to focus on that) I've always been interested in getting into coaching and helping out the team as much as I could if they couldn't make it. So quite often I'd go along and help out with drills, pick up cones, do warm ups with the subs and generally assist in anyway I could. On top of that I also built and run the clubs website, the Twitter and the Facebook pages. So without meaning to boast I'm a pretty helpful guy! After 'part-timing' for the last year or so my Dad asked me to come on board properly (go through my badges and be at every session and game) I get on well with and know all the boys and most of their parents so was quite up for it...and here's where the troubles lies. When my Dad sent out the text to say that the old coach had left (he was mid 40s) and was being replaced by me (I'm 17) the response we got was fine. Most people said that they were sorry to see him leave but knew me and didn't see it as too much of an issue. Apart from one. This one guy instead of coming to us as coaches with his problems began to text the other parents (luckily knowing them all meant that they told me) things along the lines of "Isn't this ridiculous getting a wee boy in to coach", "what sort of club is this", "If we are all agreed then we can get him out the club and get an older head in" and "Think we should tell them that we don't think he should be coaching at his age as nobody will respect him". This guy (it should be stated) has a small amount of previous with myself and more with the other coaches. He will stand on the touchline grumbling about everything everyone does but his kid (this, I have noticed is common though not within our team) he then will send texts after the game to everyone about how great his wee man was even when he wasn't. Unfortunately this seems to be rubbing off on his son who has been becoming more and more petulant (after being substituted he through his shirt at the coach and refused to sit on the bench, talking back to referees and my absolute pet hate screaming constantly at his team mates if they don't do what he wants during a game) We have explained to him that my Dad couldn't do another season alone as last year had been extremely difficult to coach, organise and pick teams in the clubs first 11s season, and so without me there would be no team for next season as nobody else fancied volunteering yet still he tries to drum up support to get me out purely because of his opinion that I am too young. Luckily the other parents ignore him, but I was just wondering if anyone on here has every experienced a similar witch-hunt against themselves or another coach? Anyway that's me vented my seethe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngsy Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 You see it all the time in kids football. After a period of time some parents think that they should have a say in the running of the team, their child is always better than most others, the coach/ manager hasn't a clue or we should have a better coach is the most common theme. Also prevalent is the abuse given by parents to young referees', some aged 14 who are just starting out in the game at mini-league level. Seriously at times the best thing a coach or manager can do for all concerned is to ask the parent to remove his child from the team as the parents attitude is starting to have an adverse effect on the rest of the players and parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Luckily the other parents ignore him, but I was just wondering if anyone on here has every experienced a similar witch-hunt against themselves or another coach? Anyway that's me vented my seethe! Well done for getting involved in the team and (I don't mean this at all patronisingly) it's really good to hear. I'm sorry you're having a hard time from what can only be an utter fud. My son's an egg-chaser (he plays for the under 14s) and last year we'd a 16 year old join as a coach who had played for the club since he was 4 and knackered his knee but wanted to stay involved in coaching. It actually worked out really well and he was well accepted by all the parents....so it is perfectly possible for someone your age to be involved in sports coaching and, really it should be encouraged. Your situation is slightly different. My son's team has 6 coaches whereas your has just you and your dad. You team sadly has a parent who is a fandan who wants to big up his precious and undermine you. I can offer no better advice than that offered by Youngsy: Seriously at times the best thing a coach or manager can do for all concerned is to ask the parent to remove his child from the team as the parents attitude is starting to have an adverse effect on the rest of the players and parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
up go the heads Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Hear it time and time again! It reminds me a bit of what I experienced some time ago, I was playing for a local junior team when I was 19/20 and recovering from a nasty injury. I huffed and puffed for a while, kidding myself I was feeling fit and able to play, and regularly falling out with the manager and staff. I decided after a few months that I would look into coaching and start from the very beginning and see where it takes me? When I spoke to the manager his reply was "you? Coaching? At your age? No chance, coaching is not for kids" he walked away shaking his head muttering away to himself............. I now have my ACL, B Licence, Youth Licence and involved in football full-time, and surprise surprise never seen him since? I say grab it with both hand give it 100%, and tell the parent if your not happy then you know where the door is! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bankie Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Sonsteam There should be absolutely no issues with age when it comes to coaching. The very fact you are willing to get the necessary qualifications, you are already a well known face within the team, and the boys know you, and get on with you at the minute, and do respect you (most of the time I bet - I ran a 2001s team too so know they can play up in fact you will find the majority of the parents will be grateful you are willing to give up your time and effort to help develop their own young people. I would call a team meeting, including parents, and just come straight out with it and ask if anyone has a problem. If anyone has then turn round and say no problem, ask them to return any kit or training gear, shake their hand, and wish the parent all the best in finding a new team for their son. It may sound harsh, but it shows you are not willing to have any disruptive influences undermine the good work you and your dad are doing for the team. As I say I ran a 2001s team and took them from 7s to the development 11s games. We went from two 7s to forming one 11s. There was one boy in the other 7s team who's dad moved him there from our team as he felt he "wasn't developing as he felt he should be" even though he was player of the year the year before. At sevens level I was a firm believer in giving everyone game time, and results were not important but not everyone shared my ethos within two weeks of the teams merging he had left again, with no real reason given. I had my suspicions he didn't like me because I didn't show favouritism towards his boy(my own son played in the team and he didn't get any either lol). We played 5 games, winning 1 and losing 4 but again it was all about getting all the boys used to the bigger parks, offside etc so again making sure all the boys got a fair bit of game time. We then lost a few boys to another team at the end of the season, leaving us a squad of 13, of which 4 were really unreliable, so I took the decision to fold the team before the season started. The point is, if you enjoy it, and there are no real issues with you being there, then stick in, enjoy watching your players develop, and coach to the best of your ability and with a smile on your face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTID Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Hear it time and time again! It reminds me a bit of what I experienced some time ago, I was playing for a local junior team when I was 19/20 and recovering from a nasty injury. I huffed and puffed for a while, kidding myself I was feeling fit and able to play, and regularly falling out with the manager and staff. I decided after a few months that I would look into coaching and start from the very beginning and see where it takes me? When I spoke to the manager his reply was "you? Coaching? At your age? No chance, coaching is not for kids" he walked away shaking his head muttering away to himself............. I now have my ACL, B Licence, Youth Licence and involved in football full-time, and surprise surprise never seen him since? I say grab it with both hand give it 100%, and tell the parent if your not happy then you know where the door is! Good luck! I don't think age has any bearing on a coach - but does the person get respect from the group. Seen young coaches unable to lead a group...seen old coaches do exactly the same! I have a very similar story to the above, started at 18 as a volunteer - going through my C license next month, lucky to work with elite players as my job but still run my own boys club as well. Got to start somewhere! Seems like you need support from the club to get this guy out. A coach cannot be undermined like that. You should have a parents meet, print off expectations the coaches expect so if this guy does cause bother again - you can point to the document he signed. It's definitely a job you will never please everyone, no matter what you do so trust me everyone gets how you feel! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I now have my ACL, B Licence, Youth Licence and involved in football full-time, and surprise surprise never seen him since? I say grab it with both hand give it 100%, and tell the parent if your not happy then you know where the door is! Good luck! Good post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted July 19, 2014 Author Share Posted July 19, 2014 Cheers to everyone for the responses, at the first day of pre-season we're planning on meeting with the parent and his lad giving him a formal last warning. I'll keep you updated throughout the season Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilky1878 Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I'm exactly like this, at my age i'm just getting where you were at the start. Helping out, just coming now and again when needed really, Some of the parents don't like it but are not willing to do it themselves. Going through all my qualifications soon aswell so may look at starting "full-time" or whatever you could call it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 I'm exactly like this, at my age i'm just getting where you were at the start. Helping out, just coming now and again when needed really, Some of the parents don't like it but are not willing to do it themselves. Going through all my qualifications soon aswell so may look at starting "full-time" or whatever you could call it. Sounds exactly like me last season, parents who complain but aren't willing to help themselves could do with looking in the mirror. Good luck, sure you'll enjoy it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Cheers to everyone for the responses, at the first day of pre-season we're planning on meeting with the parent and his lad giving him a formal last warning. I'll keep you updated throughout the season Best of luck chief. You come across as a mature young guy who will do well in the job. The only advice I'd give (in relation to the arsehole parent) is to keep your cool. These confrontations can sometimes go smoothly and solve the problem but can also go pretty badly and get heated. Keep your cool and you'll be fine. I coached a school team for 4 or 5 years not too long ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. I completely understand where you're coming from in terms of the difficulties that some parents can add but its worth sticking with it - and dealing with the problems when they arise. I always had a young coach with me (sixth year boys) and they helped out massively. As someone mentioned earlier its all about getting the respect of the team - and there are many ways to do that. I'd advise just to be yourself. Its a win-win-win situation when someone like yourself becomes a coach: it helps the guy who runs the team, helps the kids, and gives you some great experience for the future. Anyway - good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jk88 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I'm a 26 year old coach and have been coaching for all in about 15 months, currently I'm taking a 2001 team and took over in march. Being honest when I took over I think a few of the parents were a but sceptical of me because they didn't know me and to them in still pretty young. Since I have taken over I have been getting emails, text messages etc from parents about how well they think all the boys are doing not just their own. What I'm trying to say to you is don't worry about what people are thinking at the moment because let's be honest we can all be judgemental, but earn their respect. Do it by picking on one or two things you want to improve the boys on like it could be their short passing or long passing or work with defence to work as a unit rather than individuals and measure the success over a 4-6 week period. And after this period if the parent is still giving you grief then turn round and say to him well in actual fact I've been working in x y and z and look at the improvements. The guy will have no comeback and he will respect you as a coach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilky1878 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Sounds exactly like me last season, parents who complain but aren't willing to help themselves could do with looking in the mirror. Good luck, sure you'll enjoy it! There is one or two that I have knew for a bit, they are alright and respect me. It's the ones who didn't know me before don't respect me helping out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afca32 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 The guy sounds like a footballing dinosaur. I coach the local 2004s and fortunately we don't really have anyone like this, although that might start as they get older. Hope you get him telt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz5 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I've often found that judging a book by its cover is a pretty successful way to decide on the quality of the material - said no sane person ever! Unfortunately Scottish football in this regard is still in the dark ages. It's why the same group of managers move from job to job at the top level, bringing their old pals who they used to play with along as coaches. There was a time, not long ago, where when any manager left his post anyone with even a small amount of knowledge of the Scottish game could have named the 3 or 4 men being lined up to replace him. Its one of the reasons good young coaches with fresh ideas and a good early record of success feel they are fighting against "the way things have always been done". Age and lack of playing history are a burden that they really shouldn't be. Cathro is the shining example of this. His success in Portugal and his pending move to the Assistant post at Valencia are fantastic acheivments for a young Scottish coach, but reading some of his comments, success he would never have been able to acheive at home, which is a sad state of affairs. Personally, before I started coaching (after retiring through injury) I was fortunate to have played part time Senior and Junior and during that time I worked with the following: - Good Young coaches - Good Old coaches - Good coaches with no badges - Good coaches with all the badges - Bad young coaches - Bad Old coaches - Bad coaches with no badges - Bad coaches with all the badges Age is irrelevant. The number of badges you have is irrelevant*. Coaches, in all shapes, sizes, age ranges and levels of qualification can only be judged on their individual merits. *Its a bugbear of mine when I hear parents talk about coaching in terms of "levels". "He's a level four coach and he's only Level 2". So what. Of the two, who is helping their players to improve the most? Who is actually the better coach in practice, not on paper? Anyway, now I've had my own little mini rant, some advice: This will happen throughout your entire coaching lifetime, I've no doubt about that, so don't worry about it too much. Once it stops being your age it will be something else. Theres always someone who knows better. As a coach as much as a player, every day is a School Day. I spend far more time researching, watching videos, reading, making up session plans, making up excercises to fit what I want to acheive, making notes on training performance etc. than I ever did playing. The day you think you cant learn any more is the day you become the guy above who is accusing you of being unfit to coach. Stick in, learn asmuch as you can from as many sources as you can and you'll be fine. AS long as you are enjoying what you are doing and seeing progress in your players, jobs a goodun. I'm well aware that there are those who have forgotten more about coaching/football than I have ever known so this might be of no help to you at all, but depending on where you are, if you wanted to come and have a look at some sessions that other teams do to help you out, you're more than welcome to come in to a couple of our sessions. Nothing groundbreaking I'm sure, but might give you some ideas. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheep77 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 My sons team Syngenta 2004s has a young coach at the start he couldn t control them at fun 4s level but has now taken onto 7 a side for a few years now and has a fantastic team which all listen to him and respect him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share Posted August 21, 2014 Hi everyone, just thought I'd post a wee update here The coaching career has started well, 7 games played 1 goal conceded, a tournament won and 2 consecutive 12-0 victories in the League Cup. Really enjoying it and getting on well with all the players. My Da' had a chat with the laddie and his da' above and it seemed to have worked. The wee man has barely moaned at all and his attitude (whilst not perfect) has improved greatly. Great you'd think... Unfortunately tonight, with us 5-0 up at half-time, the parent decided to yet again go on a rant at my Dad. This went way and beyond what he's done before. He slagged off the other player who plays in his position infront of his father endlessly and it resulted in him saying that all us coaches must have a vandetta against his family Everyone (including my brother who only ever plays half a game to allow the other player in his position a half) excluding the two centre backs where there is no cover got the exact same amount of game time tonight yet this guy saw it fit to say that his son deserved longer than any other boy on the pitch and slagged off my Dad endlessly. We were both pretty seething. The guy can't drive and so we gave him and his son a lift to every away game last season, my Dad single handily ran the team last year and then he hits out with this. Luckily the rest of the parents came up at the end and showed there disgust at how ungrateful he had been. This left me wondering if perhaps the kids moaning was a result of ideas his Dad had been channelling into his head. Whilst I feel bad for him as his attitude has notably improved it looks like this might be his final chance blown by his old man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parsforlife Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 The dad certainly sounds like an arse, I accept that there is only so much you can take but my instinct is to do everything you can to allow the kid to continue, especially if he appears to have improved his attitude. You may feel you have tried everything tho so fair enough if you can't let the kid stay. Perhaps one thing to try is to ban the dad from games /training sessions and see if that helps, maybe that's not something you can do but in the sport I coach I know parents have been kicked out of halls their kids are competing in due to their behavoir being unacceptable. Having the other parents getting the dad telt can only be a good thing, hopefully he'll realise it's not just you and/or your dad he's against. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hampden Diehard Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 For yours sanity, the sanity of your dad, and to show that this sort of thing isn't acceptable, you need to bin the boy....nicely, of course, and wish him luck. Guys who put a lot into youth teams need all the support they can get. If the boy is that good, he'll sail into another team.......... and possibly be that team's problem. I know from experience that the loudest critics are usually the ones least likely to make any effort to help out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HibeeJibee Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Society has its fair share of sh*ts, as we all discover, and this parent sounds like one of them. On the one hand, you've given the lad another chance, and it's gone OK. On the other hand, you don't want to keep him then see his dad think he's become untouchable. If there was a way to keep the kid without the dad coming along, or if the other parents could get the dad telt, that might work? Otherwise I fear you are on a hiding to nothing, and it sounds unsustainable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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