hoopy1967 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 'He said Et tu Isa. I never ate two ae anything' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Winston- "Who did ye have on Eric?" Eric- "Calypso Jet" Winston- "w****r!!! I told ye tae put aw yer money on Scotch Corner but ye would not listen. Ah well get it right up the lot o' yees" Scotch Corner Where is my stick You didn't have one when you came in here Oh yes i did 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karpaty Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Take the poker oot yer erse ya p***k Right in the Divina McCalls boof! "Taken her in..we opened a wee hauf bottle and".."and?".."a pumped her!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) "Ladies and gentlemen; Shug, and two polis." "Oh look, it's Phyllis Diller." "That's gottae be the worst yet ya tosspot." "Relax, Martin, you've got an empire biscuit." "I'm no wantin' an empire biscuit, I'm wantin' a snowball!" "Your mission, should you accept it; sniff, my, manky, ring." "p***k." "I heard that!" "Feel the burn, Stevie, feel the burn!" The dance Stevie does when Winston loses nearly £30,000. "Sun-blessed! Best ae gear! Get it up ye!" "It was Joe's first, but Tam won it - he's a bastart!" I'll stop there. Edited August 10, 2015 by smpar 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Stingy Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) Winston- 'I can tell you why this pub's going to shite, Boaby.' Boaby - 'I'm listening.' Winston - 'You're a w****r.' Boaby - 'I'm no a w****r.' Winston - 'Gentleman.' Eric - 'Aye, you are a bit of w****r, Boaby.' Tam - *Mouths* 'w****r.' Edited August 10, 2015 by Silas Stingy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever_blue Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Winston giving Boaby tips on how to impress jim watts daughter when Boaby and stevie the bookie are going toe to toe for her affection Winston "Stevie is a dimwitted ugly b*****d Boaby , you need to show her your charm and make her laugh, it is a well known fact you can laugh a woman in to bed" Jack " aye show her yer tadger , she will piss herself " 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilky1878 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Winston- "Who did ye have on Eric?"Eric- "Calypso Jet"Winston- "w****r!!! I told ye tae put aw yer money on Scotch Corner but ye would not listen. Ah well get it right up the lot o' yees"Scotch Corner Tam- "It would also appear the occupant is no in tae letters"Winston- "Or papers as such"Jack- "Now Chris, ye dimwitted p***k, what do you think is the matter wae the man that lives in this hoose?"Chris- ".... Is he deed" thread bumped from 2013 by a guy making his only two posts so far. Surely you never aligned up just for this... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 The one about Boaby's wife making him a sandwich is the best of the lot 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 The one that always sticks in my mind is the first episode I ever watched. Naveed's brother dies so he's away for the funeral so Jack and Victor are running the shop. There customer service is second to none - Jack not even needing to ask customers if they'd like a bag and then Victor completing the shopping experience by running and opening the door for the customer. Then in comes a fella to buy a magazine called Big Cocks. There's two great lines - Victors "indeed I would not" when Jack asks if he'd like to open the door for him and then after the customer leaves Victor says "Dirty b*****d". Will never forget that scene. Need to start watching the box sets again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryptonite Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Episode "Wireless" when they're playing as hospital DJ's. Scene in the lift with Isa when she keeps asking about the records in their bag "ISA FOR FU.." "That's our stop Victor". Has me in stitches every time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mik Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Jack: Keep ye fit for whit? yer no actually... *sex guesture* Wullie: Absolutely none of your business! What a thing tae ask, I would never discuss anything personal like that.....Wullie: Any condoms navid?*burst out laughing*Navid: Ribbed or flavoured?Wullie: ehhh.....flavoured. *burst out laughing* One of the best scenes, in tears every time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Happily every episode is on Youtube, as well as the two live performances. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Jack: What aboot John Wayne? Victor: John Wayne's an arsehole Jack. Jack: Eh? Victor: Aye he was an arsehole in the Sands of Iowa Jima tae. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Funniest moment for me was when Victors son phones from the train station and the train horn blocks out the time. Hawf two! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottR96 Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 "I'll tell ye another thing about pallets..." "I'm sorry Pat, but naw ye wilnae!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 "whits the matter? Ye aff tits?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) John Wayne's an arsehole!!!! (Another Chewin the Fat classic) https://youtu.be/Xld_CtE90NY Edited August 31, 2015 by peasy23 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killiesquirrel Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 No a quote, but when Shug projects boabys sex tape on the projector on the big screen 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biscuitty Boyce Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 (1) see youse two, see if I wisnae Gettin on this bus, I'd come over there n rip yer arms off ta wee tit! And Id batter yer pal wi them! (2) Look son, yer maw wis a roaster, she only kept her knickers on tae keep her ankles warm (3) You one-legged fat b*****d! (4) "boaby, have the McGill's been in?" "Naw, and am no expecting them" "Good, we won't be needing these then" *remove swords from jackets* (5) "Et tu? I never ate two of anything" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slacker Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 (edited) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtqO5kzwVD8&t=5m34s 5m35s of this. "It's Isa" *groans* "Wae sandwiches!" WAAAHHEEY! Edited October 9, 2015 by Slacker 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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