[Bowers]

1) Parents who let their kids run wild - letting your kids do whatever they want and taking the "they are just being themselves" or "they'll get bored soon enough" approach, i dont want to have to put up with their screaming kids while they sit there talking nonsense with some other fud.

2)People who play music through their phones in public - it's 2012,either buy some headphones or get an ipod/mp3player as they arent that expensive you inconsiderate f**k.

3) People who ask you for money in the street - annoying junkie fucks.

4)Those people on twiiter who feel it's some accomplishment to get "Ireland loves beiber" or some other garbage trending - Whats the point of that, it's just stupid and shows how moronic most people are.

5)People who act like they are American - Your from dundee not detroit so stop acting all gangster.

[fatbabyjake]

Since drivers not indicating or waving thanks have already been mentioned a few times then i won't repeat them but they do really grind my gears.

1 - Lack of manners. These days there is a worrying lack of manners in the general public. A simple please or thank you goes a long way. If you don't use either of these then as far as i'm concerned you're a complete tw@t

2 - People who take up two seats on rush hour public transport. Get yourself right to feck with this!! If the bus or train is half empty then it's not a problem but if people are having to stand then move your bag or lardy @rse to let other folk sit down. You either move your bag or i'll chuck it down the aisle.

3 - Similar to number 1 but more specific. People who make no effort to hold a door open when someone is right behind them. I went off the head at a guy in Livingstone shopping shopping centre when he let a door swing back and hit my son.

4 - People with terrible handwriting who make no effort to make their writing legible. Working in customer services, there are few things worse then getting correspondence from clients whose handwriting looks like a drunken spider with ink on its feet has stumbled across a page. I know my handwriting can be bad but when i need someone else to understand it, i either type up a letter or i print my handwriting. We're not mind readers, if we can't read your writing then we've not got a fecking clue what you want.

5 - Laziness. Like people who park right outside the door at the supermarket so they save walking 20 yards from a parking space. People who can't be @rsed writing a letter but simply return the letter they receive from your company and wrtie "From" above their address and similarly people who try and cram War and Peace type instructions on a tiny post it note. If your request is that fecking important, away and get an A4 piece of paper to write on, you lazy c*nts!

This post has been edited by fatbabyjake: 11 January 2012 - 15:39

[DAFC.]

1.) Chinos. They are disgusting, ugly and for wankers. As far as I am concerned, if you wear them, you are a bawsack fanny who's never oot of Topman.

2.) This is in the same vein as what fatbabyjake posted about manners. I ALWAYS say 'Thank You' or 'Please'. It's been hard wired into me since I was young, and it costs nothing to be nice. But see when you say 'Hello' to someone you used to go to school with, but never really spoke to, or friends of friends/cousins that you see but don't regularly talk to, and they don't do anything. Well, that really does bug me. A simple reply of 'Hiya' costs nothing, ya miserable shower of shite.

3.) People who like American Comedies. They are not funny. Stop going on about them and how amazing they are. They're cringeworthingly unfunny, especially that 'Big Bang Theory'

4.) People who can't spell simple words like 'their', 'they're' and 'there'. For example: "It's over they're", "There a good football team." It hurts my eyes.

5.) A majority of those who use public transport, mostly trains, hardly use a bus, lucky if I use it once every 2 year. These are the type that sit their fat arse on the lane side of the chairs and plonk their bag on the other seat. Or when one or two people sit on the group chairs. They are for groups of people, and when me and my mates on the way back from College/Uni and we can't get a group seat, it's a rager. Also despise the p***k who takes his bike onto the train during rush hour at 8 in the morning, no need.

[roverthemoon]

Kejan, on 11 January 2012 - 01:32, said:

3. Unruly dogs - not the dogs fault, but the owners who are too lazy to train their mutt. The dogs that jump, hump and slobber all over you, especially when you are shit-scared of them. Too many of the owners when they see a dog running wild or going bezerk will say "He won't bite''. Maybe he won't bite, but get him to stop jumping on me, I'm shiting myself and I'm going to a job interview and my suit is ruined.

I'll add in this to my list. Our wee one is shit scared of dogs so the number of times I've had to listen to some dipshit owner saying 'he won't bite or he's just a friendly dog' while their dog is yapping or jumping up and the kid is going mental. Look at the fucking clues in front of you: a child clearly with a fear of your dog - probably irrational so reassuring words from a complete stranger will cut no ice. So stop trying to tell us he's a lovely dog and concentrate on getting the beast under control,

[dundeebarry]

1. People buying lottery tickets being before me in a queue. I like to progress through queues as quickly as possible, and when it's my turn to be served the transaction takes a matter of seconds. Someone processing one lottery ticket is irritating but just about tolerable, but the fucking goons who haul out a massive wad of tickets and hand them over are inconsiderate b*****ds who I would gladly burn to death with lasers that fire from my eyes should I ever develop superhuman powers that would facilitate such weaponry. Your fucking pipedreams are inconveniencing me, c**t. f**k off to the bookies and gamble on something you have a chance of winning.

2. The lack of spatial awareness in womankind. This is by no means an anti-woman thing. I love woman. Life would not be worth living without them. But by f**k, they don't half get in the way for no good reason sometimes. Walking down the street is a fairly basic, simple task. Gain some momentum by putting one foot in the other and head in the direction your destination lies. For the most part you walk in a relatively straight line while deviating your course when you encounter obstacles. Not so with the ladies. They meander every-fucking-where, suddenly manoeuvring in front of you and making you come to an unexpected halt, or to change direction to accommodate their inability to navigate a path that doesn't encroach on that of others. Sort it out, ladies. It's not difficult.

3. Umbrella users. I'm not much of a brolly man. For the most part if the rain is on I'll either get a little bit wet or put my hood up. Very occasionally, if it's absolutely pissing down and I'm suited and booted for work and don't want to sit soaking in the office or a meeting, I'll use a golf brolly. And I do so with due consideration for my fellow man. I manoeuvre it so it doesn't impede the progress of others, or come anyplace near hitting them. It seems I'm one of the few capable of doing this, because every time it rains and I'm out for lunch or something, it's like a fucking assault course out there. All these dry c***s charging about completely unaware they're making people divert course, smashing their brolly off other people and NEARLY TAKING MY FUCKING EYE OUT!! This is another issue that will quickly be resolved when I have lasers – red lasers! – firing from my eyeballs.

4. An office pet hate trio that I'm going to lump together as one – a) Folk who respond to emails without replying to the email that contains the thread of conversation. Why the f**k should I go back through my deleted/sent folders looking to see what the f**k you're on about, fuckball? b) Folk who don't use 'Reply to all' as appropriate. If I've cc'd people in on something, I did so because I want them to know what's going on between the person I'm directly communicating with and myself. When that person fails to hit 'Reply to all' it means I have to fucking forward it on to everyone I want involved. And that pisses me off. c) Folk who don't have their contact details in the email signature. The chances are I might have to phone you at some point, cunto, and I expect to be to have the information on hand to almost instantly do so. f**k you for making me search website contact lists to find your number. If you can manage to put "with kind regards, Joyce Fuckboat Barnacle" in an utterly ridiculous flowery font that offers the impression you're a seven year old disabled child, you can put your fucking phone number down there too.

5. Folk who do not have, or will not use, answering machines. I don't want to have to keep phoning you, mongchops. If I phone once the ball should move from my side of the court to your side. Conversely, if you phone me and I'm not available, my answering machine will kick in. This is for your convenience and mine. By failing to use the available technology we both suffer. Can't you see that, caller? Can't you fucking see that? f**k sake.

Right, that's me all angry with the world now. Clear a fucking path, people.

[qosrush]

dundeebarry, on 18 January 2012 - 13:59, said:

1. People buying lottery tickets being before me in a queue. I like to progress through queues as quickly as possible, and when it's my turn to be served the transaction takes a matter of seconds. Someone processing one lottery ticket is irritating but just about tolerable, but the fucking goons who haul out a massive wad of tickets and hand them over are inconsiderate b*****ds who I would gladly burn to death with lasers that fire from my eyes should I ever develop superhuman powers that would facilitate such weaponry. Your fucking pipedreams are inconveniencing me, c**t. f**k off to the bookies and gamble on something you have a chance of winning.

2. The lack of spatial awareness in womankind. This is by no means an anti-woman thing. I love woman. Life would not be worth living without them. But by f**k, they don't half get in the way for no good reason sometimes. Walking down the street is a fairly basic, simple task. Gain some momentum by putting one foot in the other and head in the direction your destination lies. For the most part you walk in a relatively straight line while deviating your course when you encounter obstacles. Not so with the ladies. They meander every-fucking-where, suddenly manoeuvring in front of you and making you come to an unexpected halt, or to change direction to accommodate their inability to navigate a path that doesn't encroach on that of others. Sort it out, ladies. It's not difficult.

3. Umbrella users. I'm not much of a brolly man. For the most part if the rain is on I'll either get a little bit wet or put my hood up. Very occasionally, if it's absolutely pissing down and I'm suited and booted for work and don't want to sit soaking in the office or a meeting, I'll use a golf brolly. And I do so with due consideration for my fellow man. I manoeuvre it so it doesn't impede the progress of others, or come anyplace near hitting them. It seems I'm one of the few capable of doing this, because every time it rains and I'm out for lunch or something, it's like a fucking assault course out there. All these dry c***s charging about completely unaware they're making people divert course, smashing their brolly off other people and NEARLY TAKING MY FUCKING EYE OUT!! This is another issue that will quickly be resolved when I have lasers – red lasers! – firing from my eyeballs.

4. An office pet hate trio that I'm going to lump together as one – a) Folk who respond to emails without replying to the email that contains the thread of conversation. Why the f**k should I go back through my deleted/sent folders looking to see what the f**k you're on about, fuckball? b) Folk who don't use 'Reply to all' as appropriate. If I've cc'd people in on something, I did so because I want them to know what's going on between the person I'm directly communicating with and myself. When that person fails to hit 'Reply to all' it means I have to fucking forward it on to everyone I want involved. And that pisses me off. c) Folk who don't have their contact details in the email signature. The chances are I might have to phone you at some point, cunto, and I expect to be to have the information on hand to almost instantly do so. f**k you for making me search website contact lists to find your number. If you can manage to put "with kind regards, Joyce Fuckboat Barnacle" in an utterly ridiculous flowery font that offers the impression you're a seven year old disabled child, you can put your fucking phone number down there too.

5. Folk who do not have, or will not use, answering machines. I don't want to have to keep phoning you, mongchops. If I phone once the ball should move from my side of the court to your side. Conversely, if you phone me and I'm not available, my answering machine will kick in. This is for your convenience and mine. By failing to use the available technology we both suffer. Can't you see that, caller? Can't you fucking see that? f**k sake.

Right, that's me all angry with the world now. Clear a fucking path, people.

Had a bad day at the office mate. F**king hilarious reading this though

[Honest Saints Fan]

1. People who don't pick up their dog's shite.
2. Foul throws. No idea why this annoys me so much but it does.
3. People in supermarkets who are on top of you when you're trying to pay for your shopping. I work on a checkout I see it all the time. It takes a lot of constraint not to tell the next customer to back the f**k up!
4. People who take forever at ATMs. They print out mini-statements, view their bank balance etc on all the cards they own.
5. People who don't move their bag off the seat next to them when the bus/train is full.

[dundeebarry]

qosrush, on 18 January 2012 - 19:33, said:

Had a bad day at the office mate. F**king hilarious reading this though

I've had better days, qosrush. That said, I've had much worse. You should see the lather I work up when some c**t uses my milk that's clearly labeled as my own in the communal fridge at work. I've punched people before.

[dundeebarry]

Honest Saints Fan, on 18 January 2012 - 21:35, said:

4. People who take forever at ATMs. They print out mini-statements, view their bank balance etc on all the cards they own.

Yes. Good one. I cannot abide people who do this. Up there with multi-ticket lottery b*****ds.

The key to getting rid of these people, HSF, is to shoot lasers - red lasers! - from your eyes and burn them into dust. Once I've developed this ability I'll let you know its secret, and together we shall rid the cash machine and cigarette kiosk queues of this world from the evil that plagues them.

Are you cool with red lasers? Green ones are pretty smart too, I suppose. I'm sticking with red, you can pick your own colour.

[Mrs M]

dundeebarry, on 18 January 2012 - 13:59, said:

5. Folk who do not have, or will not use, answering machines. I don't want to have to keep phoning you, mongchops. If I phone once the ball should move from my side of the court to your side. Conversely, if you phone me and I'm not available, my answering machine will kick in. This is for your convenience and mine. By failing to use the available technology we both suffer. Can't you see that, caller? Can't you fucking see that? f**k sake.

I'd like to add to this, if I may. Well, I'm going to anyway, so that was just a pleasantry really, I didn't mean it.

People that ring and ring and ring until it goes to voicemail/answer machine, listen to the message and THEN decide to hang up without speaking are fucking arseholes. If I have to hear "You have 8 new messages. Message one from Stupid Person "click" to hear this message again, press 1 *press 3* message deleted. Message two from same Stupid Person as before "click" to hear this message ag... *press 3* message deleted. Message three from Stupid Person again who has failed to work out that I wasn't in a position to answer "click" and so on, just once more I may just have to divorce him.

This post has been edited by Mrs M: 18 January 2012 - 22:50

[dundeebarry]

Mrs M, on 18 January 2012 - 22:49, said:

I'd like to add to this, if I may. Well, I'm going to anyway, so that was just a pleasantry really, I didn't mean it.

People that ring and ring and ring until it goes to voicemail/answer machine, listen to the message and THEN decide to hang up without speaking are fucking arseholes. If I have to hear "You have 8 new messages. Message one from Stupid Person "click" to hear this message again, press 1 *press 3* message deleted. Message two from same Stupid Person as before "click" to hear this message ag... *press 3* message deleted. Message three from Stupid Person again who has failed to work out that I wasn't in a position to answer "click" and so on, just once more I may just have to divorce him.

By all means, Mrs M, fire in about it. I'm with you on this one.

I'm one angry lassie away from forming a laser-enhanced Charlie's Angels here.

Barry's Angels.

Barry's Laser - Red Laser! - Angels.

Society will tremble in our path.

[superwell87]

Honest Saints Fan, on 18 January 2012 - 21:35, said:

3. People in supermarkets who are on top of you when you're trying to pay for your shopping. I work on a checkout I see it all the time. It takes a lot of constraint not to tell the next customer to back the f**k up!

This. Espically when you are paying with your card.

[J_Stewart]

dundeebarry, on 18 January 2012 - 22:57, said:

By all means, Mrs M, fire in about it. I'm with you on this one.

I'm one angry lassie away from forming a laser-enhanced Charlie's Angels here.

Barry's Angels.

Barry's Laser - Red Laser! - Angels.

Society will tremble in our path.

I look pretty tidy in a dress with some socks jammed in there for breasts and a slutty blonde wig, the look is helped by my naturally unhairy, yet toned muscley legs.

I'm not volunteering like, it's just that one of my pet hates is when people don't know how good I look in a dress.

This post has been edited by J_Stewart: 20 January 2012 - 12:14

[ddfg]

1. Anyone who doesn't acknowledge when you let them pull out from a side road etc,
2. Drivers who go at about 38mph in a 60.
3. People with no concept of personal space
4. Bank workers who thank you for waiting, its not really much of an option when theres a queue
5. People at work who try and take credit for something they never did but run for the hills, blaming everyone else when something of theirs goes wrong.

[Thumper]

dundeebarry, on 18 January 2012 - 13:59, said:

5. Folk who do not have, or will not use, answering machines. I don't want to have to keep phoning you, mongchops. If I phone once the ball should move from my side of the court to your side. Conversely, if you phone me and I'm not available, my answering machine will kick in. This is for your convenience and mine. By failing to use the available technology we both suffer. Can't you see that, caller? Can't you fucking see that? f**k sake.

The problem with this one, and it definitely makes my extended pet hates list, is that certain b*****ds have ruined answering machines forever in two ways:

• Charging an exhorbitant rate to use them on PAYG phones;
  
• Calling you to leave some incredibly tedious three-minute-long message which says nothing more than "I'll call you back". Coupled with #1, the usual result is that you don't immediately check your answer phone as you know it's going to wipe out half of your remaining credit, so instead check it (and thus drain the whole fiver you just added) the next day to find six messages from your bloody mum who phoned back five minutes later anyway!

[dundeebarry]

J_Stewart, on 20 January 2012 - 12:13, said:

I look pretty tidy in a dress with some socks jammed in there for breasts and a slutty blonde wig, the look is helped by my naturally unhairy, yet toned muscley legs.

Pics or it didn't happen.

[GordieBoy80]

1. As mentioned before the ATM one, especially women who don't have their card ready and rake through everything in their bag to find it, have their pin written on a wee scrap of paper in among their junk, withdraw money, then put their card back in for a statement, you can do that at the same FUCKING time.
2. Folk who manage to take up most of the whole aisle/entrance yapping in a supermarket leaving a tiny space to attempt to get a trolley through.
3. Linked to 2, if I say excuse me, I expect you to move, I'm a fairly tolerant person, if I've said excuse me twice and you haven't moved, I consider that fair warning and you're getting fucked rammed with my trolley.
4. People who let their kids scream/cry/generally annoy the hell out of people on public transport without so much as a warning, what happened to the days of sit down and shut up ?
5. People who don't indicate when turning at junctions, it's not hard to move the wee stick up or down, also people(especially women) who don't slow down or stop at zebra crossings, I've nearly been run over because of both(although the time I was, it was my own fault).

[forehead7]

Since we're talking about ATMs, people who say things like "atm machine". Yeah you've just said automatic teller machine machine.(it's also automated). Basically when people say an acronym followed by a word in that acronym. That annoys me.

When football commentators say people's first names and then surnames for other people. Chris Coleman was doing it in the City/Spurs match and it got right on my tits. I think it was only with Ledley King and Gareth Bale. He was saying their full name, just their first name. "Ledley and Kaboul", that's just stupid. Just keep it the same with everyone.