[vikingTON]

As we know, Colin McMenamin is a time-honoured mercenary who has sold his dubious wares to even more dubious clubs (Gretna, Livingston, Dundee). This summer he decided to relocate and take big-spending Ross County's lucrative two-year package. While Colin and the chairman have been quick to dismiss speculation about his weekly wage, it is clear that the structure is being supplemented by a more than lucrative bonus package (he's worth it, after all). So it's best to keep track of what exactly Ross County are getting from their hotshot.

The maths are back of the fag packet but realistic. Basic wage at £500 a week (towards the top of County's infamous 'wage cap'), goal bonus of £500 and win bonus of £300.


Match 1 Ross County 0 Morton 0

McMenamin: 90 minutes, 0 goals

Win bonus £0, goal bonus £0, total wage: £500

Price per goal: N/A (no goals)

Match 2 Hamilton 5 Ross County 1


McMenamin: : 65 minutes, 0 goals

win bonus £0, goal bonus £0, total wage £500

Price per goal: N/A (no goals)


Total cost: £1000 for no goals and no wins.


Oh dear: hopefully Colin will provide more value for money in the future than in the past two weeks. We'll keep you posted.

This post has been edited by vikingTON: 14 August 2011 - 17:44

[Staggie_93]

Fucking hell, you've hit a new low.

[CALDERON]

good work.

[Enigma]

You've put far too much effort into this. It's a bit sad.

[yoda]

I can't believe that McMenamin turning down Morton (I'm sure McKee can give us an exclusive on what he was offered) has resulted in this. Sad times

A green dot for effort though.

This post has been edited by yoda: 14 August 2011 - 17:56

[baldragon]

Who gives a shit?

[McKee]

He also has a £5,000 landmark appearance bonus, triggered after 30 league appearance and a 25% wage rise if Ross County were to be promoted.

I'm not sure of the specifics or the exact figures, but Ross County were also paying for his accommodation while he searched for a permanent housing arrangement.

[vikingTON]

Enigma, on 14 August 2011 - 17:51, said:

You've put far too much effort into this. It's a bit sad.

It's actually the result of my research lackies in the fully state-funded 'Mercenary Value Unit'. They're currently working on means of translating Colin's pay packet into something of much more value to society.

For example, Colin McMenamin's current total of £1000 would buy you 10,000 packets of Space Raiders, or any out-of-date crisps being sold on the fly at a corner shop near you. Would you rather have 10,000 packets of Space Raiders or Colin McMenamin up front?

This post has been edited by vikingTON: 14 August 2011 - 18:02

[Zen Archer]

vikingTON, on 14 August 2011 - 18:00, said:

It's actually the result of my research lackies in the fully state-funded 'Mercenary Value Unit'. They're currently working on means of translating Colin's pay packet into something of much more value to society.

For example, Colin McMenamin's current total of £1000 would buy you 10,000 packets of Space Raiders, or any out-of-date crisps being sold on the fly at a corner shop near you. Would you rather have 10,000 packets of Space Raiders or Colin McMenamin up front?

What everyone wants to know is how many goats ?

[vikingTON]

Zen Archer, on 14 August 2011 - 18:03, said:

What everyone wants to know is how many goats ?

Perhaps a St Johnstone fan will let us into the costings involved with goats, if not then watch Countryfile and give me a figure.

This post has been edited by vikingTON: 14 August 2011 - 18:07

[Mr Gandosaur]

Sad, sad person

[bunglebonce]

McMenamin's goal return is the least of County's problems.

[FC_1919]

Was good value for money for Queen's, that's all that really matters.

[forkboy]

bunglebonce, on 14 August 2011 - 18:11, said:

McMenamin's goal return is the least of County's problems.

Depressingly true

[Huck The Fibs]

Wow. There's scrutiny and then there's this.

[staggy4life]

Just typed in "obsessed, predictable, tiresome pish" into Google and it linked me to this thread.

[MUSKYQOS]

Can see Coco having a field day next Saturday against Queens and picking up his win and goals bonus with ease.

I was never a great fan of him and had my doubts when he joined Queens but that changed and he worked his socks off for us last season and was a player that I hoped would have stayed at Palmerston, but finances dictate and he went to County where he had the best offer. He has bills to pay and his own future to look after so who can blame him for going to where the best money is. Im certain that Colin would still have been at Palmerston if we could have offered him the same terms as County, but thats not how it turned out.
I will be up at Victoria Park next Saturday and certainly wont be giving Colin any stick.

[staggy4life]

A couple months ago I broke the exclusive news on here that I seen him in Wimpy in Dingwall and was about to sign a 2 year-deal for us. I spotted him outside Subway in Inverness today so he clearly is on more wages with us.

[kiddy]

McMenamince was a complete waste of a loan deal in our Awfulview season.

Another one of these 'keep our own kids out the team' wasters Hughes used to like.

This post has been edited by kiddy: 14 August 2011 - 18:54

[vikingTON]

staggy4life, on 14 August 2011 - 18:49, said:

A couple months ago I broke the exclusive news on here that I seen him in Wimpy in Dingwall and was about to sign a 2 year-deal for us. I spotted him outside Subway in Inverness today so he clearly is on more wages with us.

Was it the Sub of the Day or a Premium Sub? Because that will seriously affect the numbers on our 'useful comparison' guide.

[staggy4life]

vikingTON, on 14 August 2011 - 18:55, said:

Was it the Sub of the Day or a Premium Sub? Because that will seriously affect the numbers on our 'useful comparison' guide.

No idea but it was a foot long sub. None of this 6" nonsense.

[vikingTON]

staggy4life, on 14 August 2011 - 18:57, said:

No idea but it was a foot long sub. None of this 6" nonsense.

I knew someone in my school year who was so fat he had two footlongs for lunch. True story. And he was ginger, so life dealt him a particularly bad hand.

A Premium footlong is maybe £5.19, without the cookie/crisps and drink. Big spender for such little end product. By comparison Peter Weatherson can get four vodka and cokes in Word Up for the same price.

This post has been edited by vikingTON: 14 August 2011 - 19:03

[bunglebonce]

It's been a long time since Space Raiders cost 10p.

[dundeebarry]

staggy4life, on 14 August 2011 - 18:30, said:

"obsessed, predictable, tiresome pish"

Get this in your sig, VT.

[vikingTON]

bunglebonce, on 14 August 2011 - 19:03, said:

It's been a long time since Space Raiders cost 10p.

Space Raiders are right now (well not right now, it's shut) 10p in my nearest multicultural corner shop. They've always been 10p, they're the one item that is inflation-proof.

Perhaps you need to jump down to Greenock in a Transit and illicitly hoard 10p packets back up north.