[FC_1919]

McB, on Jan 27 2009, 13:13, said:

Too much information!

Indeed, my mate had a kid yesterday, his girlfriend was informing me how sore it was. I did'nt need it in my life. Maybe I am just a pansy.

[Rugster]

C.J, on Jan 27 2009, 12:18, said:

I had forceps and 14 stiches too!!

f**k's sake! It'll be like slinging a sausage up a close now!

[Law Stud]

I don't know what all the fuss women make is all about. I witnessed my second son being born and during contractions my wife would fall asleep, or burst out laughing. She got all the drugs, all I got was a rather horrific view of the mess she was making as she pushed.

Reading Saintee, I feel sorry for you mate. You're going to have to watch as your wife goes through every extreme emotion - she'll not care that she's hurting your feelings or leaving you ripped to pieces, and none of your family or friends will ever ask how you are bearing up. It's 9 months of pure attention seeking by the woman...and it's no wonder so many get depressed once the baby is born and steals all the attention back off them.

Good luck.

[shedboy82]

Larsson., on Jan 27 2009, 11:32, said:

Hopefully the wee one will be born in P.R.I as alot of 1st time Perth mothers are having to go through to Ninewells in Dundee.
Imagine the shame of having born in Dundee on it's birth certificate!!!!

Skyline Drifter, on Jan 27 2009, 11:42, said:

Just a wild stab in the dark here but I'd guess 'READINGSaintee' with a location of Burghfield in Berkshire which, in case you haven't already got the hint is NEAR READING, is fairly unlikely to be having a child at either Ninewells or PRI.

Don't give up the day job for a career in detective work though Larsson.

Reading Saintee, on Jan 27 2009, 13:36, said:

as someone has kindly pointed out, i live in just outside reading.
But my nearest hospital is, and the name on the birth certificate, will be.......................

BASINGSTOKE!!!

What a clown.

[The Phoenix]

Stuart Dickson, on Jan 27 2009, 15:22, said:

I witnessed my second son being born

Witnessed?

You make it sound like a criminal offence.

Come to think of it, your birth probably was.

[Reina]

Stuart Dickson, on Jan 27 2009, 15:22, said:

I witnessed my second son being born and during contractions my wife would fall asleep, or burst out laughing. She got all the drugs

The bit in bold explains why the first bit happened.

[Law Stud]

Reina, on Jan 27 2009, 20:44, said:

The bit in bold explains why the first bit happened.

Aye....but so why was it such a big deal? Why was I supposed to feel sorry for her? Don't get me wrong, it was impressive..I've never seen a mess like it in my life. I've never smelled anything like it in my life - not even at Cappielow.

It's the poor midwife I felt sorry for.

[The Phoenix]

Stuart Dickson, on Jan 28 2009, 10:18, said:

It's the poor midwife I felt sorry for.

Surely they get paid more than Call Centre workers?

[Law Stud]

The Phoenix, on Jan 28 2009, 10:24, said:

Surely they get paid more than Call Centre workers?

Aye and Call Centre workers have the cheek to claim they have a "shit" job....

[wearealldoomed]

Franly, I'm amazed Dickson isn't claiming to have carried the wean for 9 months...

[Andy C]

Stuart Dickson, on Jan 28 2009, 10:28, said:

Aye and Call Centre workers have the cheek to claim they have a "shit" job....

Hoi! My job is immense. If I was told at school that I'd end up getting decent money for playing games and surfing the net for 6 hours per night I'd have been ecstatic!

If they told me I was destined to fit pipes I'd have contributed to Scotlands teen suicide rate.

[Law Stud]

wearealldoomed, on Jan 28 2009, 10:32, said:

Franly, I'm amazed Dickson isn't claiming to have carried the wean for 9 months...

Nah - although I did go through a sympathy phase where I attempted to keep up with her in terms of the food that she ate. Unfortunately I'm still carrying the scars of that time whilst she got rid of her excess weight more or less overnight.

The legacy of a pregnancy is definitely worse on the man. The woman gets months worth of maternity leave, and gets to claim that she's always exhausted. Whilst the poor man has to cope with extra hours at work, painting and decorating, all the normal and extra household maintenance tasks that appear to come under "child safety", and despite all that his wife will still expect him to change nappies, get up with the baby in the middle of the night, oh and there's bound to be housework to be getting on with as well cause she's "not had a moment all day". Funnily enough whenever it was my turn to stay in and watch the baby, he generally just slept while I played computer games.

Then in ensuing years she'll have made up this story about the horror of the whole thing, forgetting to mention that it was your job to go to Mothercare and buy disposable pants and bra pads - much to the amusement of everyone there.

[ClydeNewcomer]

Reading Saintee, on Jan 26 2009, 22:24, said:

My mrs is 13 weeks pregnant, had the scan, all is well. but i am a nervous wreck!
i have been reading the books and magazines to try and prepare myself, got the family car now too.

is it normal to be nervous about everything?? does it ease?

good thing is, i'm drinking for 3 now!

Your baby is gony be a clyde fan

[Whistle Blower]

Stuart Dickson, on Jan 28 2009, 11:35, said:

Nah - although I did go through a sympathy phase where I attempted to keep up with her in terms of the food that she ate. Unfortunately I'm still carrying the scars of that time whilst she got rid of her excess weight more or less overnight.

The legacy of a pregnancy is definitely worse on the man. The woman gets months worth of maternity leave, and gets to claim that she's always exhausted. Whilst the poor man has to cope with extra hours at work, painting and decorating, all the normal and extra household maintenance tasks that appear to come under "child safety", and despite all that his wife will still expect him to change nappies, get up with the baby in the middle of the night, oh and there's bound to be housework to be getting on with as well cause she's "not had a moment all day". Funnily enough whenever it was my turn to stay in and watch the baby, he generally just slept while I played computer games.

Then in ensuing years she'll have made up this story about the horror of the whole thing, forgetting to mention that it was your job to go to Mothercare and buy disposable pants and bra pads - much to the amusement of everyone there.

Your wife sounds a delight.
Mrs WB was right in there with the decorating and buying of stuff (only if it had won an award though). At one point she was left with her finger in a radiator for a couple of hours as I had connected it up without the plumbers tape.

[Reading Saintee]

ClydeNewcomer, on Jan 28 2009, 11:37, said:

Your baby is gony be a clyde fan

how so???

[Taylorboy77]

Mrs Taylorboy77 is expecting our 2nd child on 20 June. Got our 20 week scan next week .

Our daughter is 5 next month, she was diagnosed with a really rare chromosome disorder that resulted in her constantly being at hospital since 3 months old.
She didnt have a "normal" baby life and still doesnt due to constant hospital checks etc.

Due to this rare disorder, Mrs TB77 got CVS testing done at 13 weeks stage. This was not a nice procedure (taking samples from the placenta) but all the results have come back clear and they have tested for every known syndrome etc.

Its kind of weird as we had 6/7 weeks of pure hell as we both thought that this baby would be the same as the other and we didnt know what to do etc

But when the results came out we were like

Its going to be so great doing all the normal stuff with babies that we sadly missed out on the first time round.
The one good thing though, our new baby will have the best big sister ever

for all first time mums and dad, seriously enjoy it to the max....

[Ayrgirl]

oddjob, on Jan 26 2009, 22:34, said:

When it get's to 8 months and 28 days, she'll really want a shag. I kid you not.

C.J, on Jan 26 2009, 22:51, said:

I never got to that stage



Take the epidural

Neither did I. Cal was eight and a half weeks early although weighed in at 5 and a half pound so suspect he was gonna be big baby.

Skyline Drifter, on Jan 27 2009, 09:20, said:

..........which, as you are aware, isn't necessarily available to them depending on where they live. Nobody in D&G can have an epidural because they quite simply don't have the service available.

As for the epidural I never contemplated having one. I certainly didn't want anyone poking about at my back.

For me the major downside of an epidural is not being able to feel anything during the 2nd stage of labour which results in a higher frequency of instrumental delivery. As a midwife no way was I having one of them (if I could get away with it). Trust me a doctor will give you a far bigger cut than a midwife would.

Entonox and diamorphine for me - great stuff

Don't get too hung up on what the books say - it never works out that way anyway. Just enjoy and go with the flow. However when they say it will change your life - believe that. You just don't realise quite how much until after

[clyde til we die]

Taylorboy77, on Jan 28 2009, 14:00, said:

Mrs Taylorboy77 is expecting our 2nd child on 20 June. Got our 20 week scan next week .

Our daughter is 5 next month, she was diagnosed with a really rare chromosome disorder that resulted in her constantly being at hospital since 3 months old.
She didnt have a "normal" baby life and still doesnt due to constant hospital checks etc.

Due to this rare disorder, Mrs TB77 got CVS testing done at 13 weeks stage. This was not a nice procedure (taking samples from the placenta) but all the results have come back clear and they have tested for every known syndrome etc.

Its kind of weird as we had 6/7 weeks of pure hell as we both thought that this baby would be the same as the other and we didnt know what to do etc

But when the results came out we were like

Its going to be so great doing all the normal stuff with babies that we sadly missed out on the first time round.
The one good thing though, our new baby will have the best big sister ever

for all first time mums and dad, seriously enjoy it to the max....

Congrats mate, hope all goes well

[Breaking Decency]

Stuart Dickson, on Jan 28 2009, 12:35, said:

Then in ensuing years she'll have made up this story about the horror of the whole thing, forgetting to mention that it was your job to go to Mothercare and buy disposable pants and bra pads - much to the amusement of everyone there.

Aye, because they'll have never seen that before in a shop catering for pregnant women & small children

[lzreid]

I was 2 weeks late.

This has set the tone for my life where not only am I perpetually 15 minutes late for everything but a lazy fucker to boot.

I once helped a cat give birth. I'll happily give advice to anyone who wants it.

[Rowan]

Ayrgirl, on Jan 29 2009, 13:15, said:

Neither did I. Cal was eight and a half weeks early although weighed in at 5 and a half pound so suspect he was gonna be big baby.

Christ that's what Ruairidh was and he was 3 weeks early. You'd have delivered a 10lbr if you'd gone to term!

[Enigma]

My mum needed stitching after having me. I have been stretching women ever since.

[Ayrgirl]

C.J, on Jan 29 2009, 22:15, said:

Christ that's what Ruairidh was and he was 3 weeks early. You'd have delivered a 10lbr if you'd gone to term!

And I had no stitches

Although to be fair I was pushing for all my worth saying "don't cut me". I believe when I hit transition I was like a Rottweiler

[Ayrgirl]

Enigma, on Jan 29 2009, 22:17, said:

My mum needed stitching after having me. I have been stretching women ever since.

What? When you fold the playboy magazine back

This post has been edited by Ayrgirl: 29 January 2009 - 22:25

[Enigma]

Ayrgirl, on Jan 29 2009, 22:24, said:

What? When you fold the playboy magazine back

Playboy? whats that? its tube8 these days